


1.000 kilometers

by idanceinmykitchen



Series: Elite after season 3 [3]
Category: Elite (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:47:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 52,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24289939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idanceinmykitchen/pseuds/idanceinmykitchen
Summary: Samuel and Carla have decided to have an open relationship until they can live in the same city, that won't happen for three years. What happens in the meantime? Will they be able to overcome society not wanting them together? Will they be able to put their own fears and insecurities aside to make this work? There are one thousand kilometres between Madrid and Paris, will the distance be too much?(This is a continuation of my other work in this series, Now that we are not playing any games, I'd recommend you reading that first and then coming back for this.)
Relationships: Ander Muñoz/Omar Shana, Carla Rosón Carluega/Samuel García Domínguez, Samuel García Domínguez/Carla Rosón Carluega
Series: Elite after season 3 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1681222
Comments: 56
Kudos: 93





	1. SEPTEMBER 2020

**Author's Note:**

> Heeey!!! It's me again! I'm super proud of this chapter and of everything that's to come. I really hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it!  
> Buckle up, it's gonna be a bumpy road.  
> As always, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated, but also the fact that you are reading this, even if all you do is read it, that's amazing too. Thank you.

Samuel was exhausted. He’d been driving for a little over half a day on his own. He’d split his trip up to Paris in two, sleeping in a little town in the Spanish Pyrenees. He’d been lucky enough to trick Omar and Ander into spending a romantic week in the mountains before uni started again so he’d had company for the first half of his journey, they’d agreed he’d pick them back up in 7 days and they’d make the trip back home together.

Last night had been quiet and fun, the guys had teased him about Carla while they drank beer on the balcony of the small apartment they’d rented, watching the sun set behind the mountains, he’d gone to bed early, wanting to get back on the road as soon as possible and to give his friends some much needed privacy.

He got up at 4 and tried, and failed, to be as quiet as possible in order not to wake up Omar and Ander. His best friend was waiting for him on the small kitchen, bags under his eyes and hair sticking up in weird ways.

“Is Ander asleep?” He whispered while pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“Yes”. He said half way through a yawn.

“I guess you don’t want one”. He said pointing at the coffee. Omar shook his head. “Sorry I waked you.”

“You didn’t.” 

“Worried about your dad?” He asked sipping his mug.

“I don’t want to give him another heart attack.” Omar said simply.

“I thought he was okay with you and Ander moving in together.”

Omar sighed. “He is and he isn’t… I guess he doesn’t want to lose me, so he’s not telling me what to do, but I know he doesn’t like it. And I worry, with Nadia so far away and Mia… I don’t know, I don’t want them to think I’m abandoning them.”

“You’re literally two streets down from them and still working on the shop, for free. Omar, don’t worry, they’ll be okay.” Samuel smirked. “You might end up with another sibling.”

“Samuel!” Omar faked disgust and Samuel laughed quietly, almost spilling his coffee.

“Promise me you’ll be careful” Omar said, once they’d calmed down.

“On the road? I’m a great driver, don’t worry, and I’ll stop every two hours, I should be there by noon.”

“That too, but…” Omar sighed, and braced himself, in the mountains fall always came earlier, the air was cold and he was only wearing his pijama bottoms. “I mean with Carla, I like her, you know that but you haven’t seen her in almost two months and this arrangement of yours is complicated and could end up… I just don’t want to see you hurt.”

Samuel’s heart soared, he had the best friend the world had to offer, how could he be so lucky? Even if he knew there was no need to worry, he was grateful to know that Omar was looking out for him.

“I trust Carla, we are adults now, we’ll talk if there’s ever any problem between us.” He tried to reassure his best friend by giving him a hug with the arm that wasn’t holding the mug. “Thanks for caring, though.” He added.

“You know you can come to me with anything, right?” Samuel turned around and began rinsing his mug.

“I do, so do you.” Omar smiled as Samuel picked up his bag from the floor, he had a weird feeling about all of this, but Samuel was happy and, if time ended up proving him right, he’d be there to pick up the pieces.

“See you in a week?” Said Samuel from the door frame, he was smiling, he smiled so rarely that Omar felt himself already forgiving Carla for whatever was about to happen, at least she made him smile.

“See you in a week.” Omar agreed, hugging Samuel close to him. “Don’t forget that you agreed to help us move into our new apartment.” He said against his best friend’s shoulder.

“I won’t.” He smiled grabbing the back of Omar’s neck and looking him straight in the eyes. “I love you.”

Omar smiled. “I love you too.” He saw Samuel’s back getting further and further away from him in the cold night. “Good luck.” He whispered once he saw him get into the car and drive away. He then went back to bed and fell asleep with Ander curling against his left side. “Whatever will be, will be” was his last thought as he fell asleep combing his hand through his boyfriend’s hair.

Carla was making lunch, she’d taught herself how to cook that summer, unwilling to spend another year eating out of takeout boxes. She was a grown woman, she should know how to cook. So she was in her kitchen in her apartment in Paris, making a risotto and drinking a glass of wine, she checked her phone, Samuel should be there any minute now, he’d texted her he’d parked his car outside the city center and was taking a bus to her house because it was impossible to find a parking spot anywhere near her apartment.

She’d recently moved, so there were still a couple of boxes left to unpack sitting on the entrance, she’d been living in a house in the outskirts of Paris, it was huge, swimming pool and all, just like she’d been used to, but it had felt so lonely to have all of that space all to herself, when Valerio had told her last June a friend of his was looking to sell a small loft in a building with views to the Seine and the Eiffel Tower, she’d bought it without a second thought.

It was small, very small, but the streets were always busy and there was always a taxi willing to take her wherever she wanted to go and she didn’t need five bedrooms and a swimming pool, it was just her. The apartment had a big room that served at the same time as a kitchen and a living room, the kitchen isle separating it from the rest, there was a small wooden table with four chairs, all mismatched, a sofa facing the glass wall overlooking the river and a small library filled with books, she hadn’t really liked reading before Paris, but the city had this air about her that screamed to be discovered with a book under your arm, stopping at small cafes and benches in hidden parcs to read a few chapters of a novel. There was no TV, she could get better entertainment from her laptop, where Netflix, HBO, Amazon Prime and Apple TV had every show and movie she’d ever want to watch, and a TV would mean less space in her brick walls for the paintings. She’d found last year that she loved going to art galleries and bringing pieces back home, so she was gathering a small art collection of her own in that living room.

She loved her apartment, the sounds of tourists going up and down the avenue, seeing the boats on the Seine and the Eiffel Tower lit up at night, she was at home there, cutting cheese for the risotto while sipping on her glass, filled from one of the new wines they were trying. She wanted a new brand of wine for her wineries, a cheaper wine that bored housewives who drank a bottle a day could afford, Valerio said it might damage the actual brand to have it under its name, so they were on the process of creating a new one. It was exciting and expensive and her father was hating every second of it, which only made her enjoy it more. It turned out to be a really good idea that brought new investors to the business, so he couldn’t refuse.

She thought she liked the wine she was having at the time, she pulled up a notebook where she had them all listed and added the pros and cons of the new one, she wasn’t the only person trying the new wines, but since Valerio had stopped drinking after a very scary night where she was sure he’d die, and she wanted a very hands on approach to the business it was up to her to make the final choice of which wines they’d sale and which ones they wouldn’t. Se loved every second of it.  
She was writing down how the wine might be a tad too fruity when the bell rang. She put everything away and answered, her insides fluttered when she heard his voice. 

“It’s me”. He’d said, but she didn’t need anything else, he was calm and his voice was soft and deep. They hadn’t really talked since he left London at the end of July, neither one of them was big on texting and calling each other felt weird and it always ended in phone sex so she didn’t really know what had happened to him in that month they’d been apart.

She opened the door and went back to stirring the risotto. He came into the apartment quietly, trying to slow down his breath, Carla had failed to mention there was no elevator on the building and he’d had to go up a very old staircase for seven floors. He was in shape, but in no way ready for it after driving for half a day. 

The view had been worth it, though. Carla was cooking something that smelled great, wearing a blue summer dress he’d actually bought for her in London one day he and Guzmán got lost while trying to find the others, they’d been playing hide and seek through the city using their phones’ location apps. The blue of the dress made him think of Carla, it was something she’d wear and he could afford, so he bought it. Guzmán had taken it all surprisingly seriously at the moment, which didn’t mean he didn’t get teased endlessly about it a couple of days later.

He didn’t say anything as he took in the view, Carla in the most domestic setting he’d ever seen her, he didn’t think she was able to do anything that wasn’t microwavable, but there she was, barefooted, sipping wine and stirring something in a pan in a loft even smaller than the one she’d rented in London, but it was hers, Samuel could tell. The location and the view screamed money, the fact that one wall was made out of glass and you had a front row view of the Eiffel Tower, the exquisite art collection hanging from the walls, everything was so clean and cold, the paintings were mostly geometric shapes in different shades of blues, grays and greens, they were all by different painters, but there was definitely a theme in what Carla collected, not that it surprised him, they were all very Carla paintings to own, all except for one. There was a small impressionist painting of a woman breastfeeding a child, it was all browns and oranges and reds, it was warm and melancholic at the same time. He knew why that was hanging there and realized it was probably the most personal piece of art she owned, that was the life she’d wanted to have.

“This one is your favourite”. He stated pointing at it, he didn’t need to ask, he knew, and she loved that. She came over to where he was standing and laid her head on his shoulder intertwining their fingers together.

“It is.” He smiled and kissed her forehead.

“I’ve missed you.” He said plainly. She smiled and hugged him to herself by his waist, so that they were facing each other.

“Me too”. She whispered through her smile before she kissed him softly. She giggled when he sighed against her mouth. She never giggled, Samuel was some sort of wizard, either that or her kryptonite. He smiled against her lips, already half hard, he pressed her to him and she let out a moan that sent blood rushing to his cock.

“What are you doing to me?” He asked, moving away from her reach. He knew whatever she was cooking had taken time and didn’t want to spoil it, they had plenty of time for sex later, although he shared her feelings wholeheartedly when she pouted at the lack of contact. 

“Food?” He asked tentatively. She smiled and moved towards the kitchen, kissing his shoulder as she went by and grabbing his hand to pull him along with her.

There was something about having Samuel sitting on her kitchen counter, trying to steal bits of cheese while nursing a beer, actually trying to convince her to watch Star Wars, which they both knew would never happen, and staring at her with the warmest look in the world that made her insides melt, it was so domestic, and so scary, maybe in a good way, maybe not. She still had to figure that out.

“So, when are you gonna let me introduce you to the wonderful world of wine?” She asked as she reached for the dishes, Samuel had better access so he ended up handing them to her, there wasn’t anything in that house that didn’t come from some expensive designer’s shop, he didn’t need to ask about the dishes to know that, they were too intricate and delicate to be anything but crazy expensive.

She looked at him with questioning eyes, waiting for an answer. He sighed, knowing she wasn’t gonna give up or let it go, so he braced himself and sent a little prayer to whoever was listening before flushing what was left of his beer down the sink and getting himself one of those intimidating wine glasses. “I’m all yours.” He said as he took his plate and sat down at one of the chairs at the small table.

She almost squealed in delight, it seemed like nothing, but it was a small step forward in the right direction, the direction that made her fear fade away a little bit, maybe this could work, maybe there was a middle ground for them to live in. She took out a new bottle, it didn’t even have a label, before thinking of the outside, Valerio and her had to decide on what would be on the inside of the bottle.

“Okay, I think you’ll like this one. It’s nothing too fancy or complicated and it’s dry, has a wooden aftertaste.” She said as she poured two glasses and then waited for him to take a sip. He did, trying to find the wood she said was there.

“I don’t…” He opened his eyes. “I can’t taste it, I mean, it’s not bad, but where did you get the wood thing from?”

She smiled as she sat down and grabbed her own glass. “Promise you won’t laugh?”

“I’m not making that promise before I see what’s gonna happen.” He said with a smirk on his face. God, how could someone be adorably cute and still unbearably hot at the same time? Carla sighed, yes, Samuel was definitely her kryptonite.

“Okay, copy what I do.” She took a small sip of wine and moved it around her mouth, carefully, watching Samuel try to mimic her and hold a grin without spilling the wine. When she finally swallowed he did too and, instead of laughing as she was sure he’d do, he got all serious.

“I can taste it.” He said, and then there was a grin, “I can actually taste the wood!” He was excited and made her laugh, he was like a five year old discovering he could reach the top shelf for the first time and steal a couple of cookies without his mom noticing.

She leaned back and took a spoonful of risotto and brought it to her mouth. It was amazing. Turned out she was a pretty amazing cook after all.

“God, this is amazing, I’m never cooking again, knowing you can make this.” He said relaxing into his chair, it was wonderful, and after a month of eating shitty one minute rice with his brother in Morocco the change was extremely appreciated. 

“I wonder what I’ll do without your macaroni…” She said, half joking, half serious. Reheated macaroni was something she immediately associated with Samuel and the afterglow of sex, or just… It was because of macaroni that they started being… Well, them. Stupid reheated pasta, if someone had told her that a couple years ago she would’ve scoffed at the thought, now… Well, she didn’t particularly enjoy the taste perse, but she loved what it entailed, how safe she felt with a tupper of reheated macaroni between them.

He read all of that in her tone and in her eyes and put a hand on the table for her to grab. “I’ll always make you macaroni, just say the word.” She smiled as he started drawing patterns on her skin, everything left unsaid was spoken by their eyes, the fear and the longing and the love and the sexual tension that never seemed to leave the room whenever they were together, how much they’d missed each other and how unsure they were of the future, it all passed between them in a look, no need for words.

She kissed his knuckles one by one, before letting go and grabbing the fork again. 

“Come on”, she said, taking another spoonful, “it’ll get cold and then it’s not good at all, trust me.”

They ate in a comfortable silence, just happy to be in each other's presence again, getting used to the domesticity of the act, Samuel wished they could do this more than once a month, he wished there was no deal between them, that they slept in the same bed every night instead of a thousand kilometers apart, that there was nothing else, no one else, but he knew that was unreasonable, for both of them, neither one could honestly keep a promise like that one, so they didn’t make it. 

Once they were done eating, Samuel gathered up the dishes and started cleaning up, it was the least he could do after the whole meal she’d prepared. She pointed out that he’d literally driven for two days to get to her, so they were even, but didn’t complain too much, used to be taken care of this way, this was a way she could accept. 

The other ways Samuel wanted to take care of her were more difficult to get on board with, too scary, not used to emotional care, it had been easier for everyone in her life to buy her a dress and not ask questions. She knew the questions were coming and that Samuel didn’t really want to get into them either, but that he was gonna do it to make the relationship work, even if he wasn’t used to emotional support either.

She watched him as the muscles in his back tensed and relaxed, knowing by the way he held himself that he was tired. She was so grateful to have him there, that he had driven all the way up just to see her, she didn’t feel like she deserved it, but she wasn’t complaining. Not right now.

“Siesta?” She asked once he was done and everything was back in its place. He almost moaned. 

“The magic word.” He said, and then waited for Carla to get up and show him the way to the bedroom, which he hadn’t seen yet. He didn’t look at it, though, not bothering to turn on the lights as he took off his shoes and crawled into bed, he was about to drift off when he realized two things he really wanted to point out. “I want you to stay.” He said first, testing the waters. 

She smiled from the door frame, she wanted to stay too, way too much for it not to be terrifying, but she pushed that feeling down deep inside her, not now, she told herself, now she wanted to enjoy a lazy afternoon wrapped around her boyfriend’s arms, they hadn’t done that since London and she’d missed it, she’d missed everything if she was being honest, but she’d missed that too. So she crawled into bed and sat against the headboard, she wasn’t tired and was sure she wouldn’t sleep, so she took her laptop from the nightstand and put on Downton Abbey, she’d already watched it a couple of times, but there was something about watching the troubles of early 20th century british aristocracy that made her forget about the troubles of early 21st century spanish aristocracy, she knew from experience that Samuel didn’t mind the soft bluish light from the computer or the noise.

Samuel smiled once he felt the all too familiar “siesta routine” going on around him, he could die happy right now, he thought as he shifted enough to get his head on her legs and she began combing his hair, soothing him and helping him fall asleep, not that he needed much help, he was exhausted.

“Don’t think you’re getting off sex that easily”. He mumbled, groggy, right before he fell asleep. She chuckled above him. No, it wasn’t likely to happen, given their record they’d be fucking as soon as he woke up, not that she was complaining, she also hadn’t forgotten his last promise, one he could actually keep, to make her come twice as many times as other men had made her come in the time they’d been apart. Her stomach fluttered, ten orgasms in a night, she wasn’t completely sure her body would be up to the task, but she was willing to try it.

The thing about rewatching tv was that she knew exactly how it ended and her mind could wonder, which was bad, very bad, because with Samuel sleeping peacefully on her legs things were getting very real and very scary very fast. When Samu was awake there were other things to keep in mind, the sexual tension, reading the body language, trying to make him laugh without coming out as an idiot, trying not to laugh too loud in order to avoid his smug knowing look… With him sleeping like this… There was only silence and the too real knowledge that Samu was able to sleep like this because he trusted her, something she wasn’t really used to, even more so because she trusted him back. And wanted this, whatever it was, more than she’d ever wanted anything.

In London things where theoretical, “we’ll see each other once a month”, “we’ll see other people in the meantime”, “you’ll call me after you come because of someone else”, “there is no need to talk every day”, “we are dating, in a non traditional way”, “I love you”, “I really need for this to work”, “I’m at a point where losing you will be close to losing myself” ... those were all things they’d said in London, but they’d said them without knowing the consequences, now they were living them.

Carla found that she didn’t mind him sleeping around, and she didn’t mind her sleeping around, and she actually loved calling him, just to tell him she’d come and was masturbating thinking of him, while he just listened, telling her how much he loved her, she loved when he called her for the same reason. She didn’t mind not hearing from him for a couple of days, she didn’t miss him in a my heart will come out of my body kind of way, but there had been times where she’d wanted to tell him something or to just curl against him at night or to have him buried inside of her, fucking her senseless. 

It wasn’t too bad, though, and she knew she could always call him, which she’d done a few times, it had taken the edge off, but left her feeling more empty than anything, she knew it was the same for him, so they’d kept the contact to a minimum the last few weeks, only really talked to plan this week and to tell each other they’d had sex, which was fine, “out of sight, out of mind” actually seemed to work for them.

It was the other part of the thing that bothered her, how needy she found herself to be, how much she lost control around him, her universe basically centring around him, not in a bad way, she was still her own person and she knew that, but… She found herself a little too vulnerable around him, she wanted it, but feared it at the same time. With Polo she’d always been completely in control, same with Christian, even with Samuel at the beginning, when they were playing with each other, trying to upsmart the other, but now… Now there were no games, it was just them.

She was lost in her train of thought when she felt Samuel shift, his head inching closer to the point where her legs met. He kissed her belly button before diving under her dress, he liked her panties, from the end of her lips to her clit (she isn’t wet yet he thought) before bending her legs at the knee and kneeling between them.  
“Not now”, he said when he began running his hands up and down the inside of her tights, massaging as he went, not quite reaching the place she wanted him to. “Don’t think now, Carla, just feel, we’ll think later, we’ll talk later.”

She could feel he needed that, the not thinking, almost as much as she did, so she let him do, for now, knowing, feeling, it was about to be fast and rough, so that they both could get lost on the feeling. She smiled at him and stood up, seeing him still kneeling in front of her, watching for her next move, without taking her eyes off him, she took her dress off in one swift move.

Samuel took a deep breath when he realized she wasn’t wearing a bra, her nipples already hard and her breasts bouncing with every movement, fuck, she was hot, hotter than he remembered, if that was possible, he’d touched himself plenty of times thinking of her just like this, or almost, lying on her back, naked, or almost naked, touching her nipples while asking, almost begging him to fuck her, fluids staining the shits and running down her tights, both of them too far gone to care. This was better, far better, he could smell she was starting to get wet, good. He didn’t want to waste any time in foreplay, they’d have time for that later, right now he wanted to be inside her, as soon as possible.

She smirked down at him, he was wearing summer shorts, so his erection tending his pants was obvious, not that he was trying to hide it. She almost moaned when his hands ran up her tights and parted them slightly as he went and positioning himself right underneath her at the same time. Fuck.

“You’re gonna have to hold on the headboard for this” he said smirking up at her as he literally ripped her underwear apart, not that she minded, the cold air hitting her now wet pussy hard and stimulating, and she gripped the headboard hard like he’d said, trying not to moan, and to keep from buckling right into Samuel’s face, although it wouldn’t be surprising if that was somehow part of his plan. He teased her a little by blowing cold air right inside of her which made her whole body tremble with anticipation. He liked up the fluids pouring out of her in one swift move ending at her clit, he then sucked hard and slipped two fingers inside of her.

“Fuck” she whispered as she gave up on looking sexy and practically sat on Samuel's face, his mouth never living her bundle of nerves and sucking as hard as he could as he fucked her with his fingers. She arched her back and fucked herself into his mouth and fingers. Samuel had learned long ago to read her body and not wait for any sounds, she was very quiet, very dignified when she had sex, only allowing herself little pants to betray her state of unrest, Samuel really hoped that she’d eventually trust him enough to let herself go, but she wasn’t there yet, and that was okay.

He pulled away just as fast as he’d pulled in, grabbing her legs and making her lie down on her back in one swift motion, she gave a little whine of annoyance at the loss of his fingers, but quickly fixed it by grabbing one of her nipples and twisting hard, he loved how hard she liked it, it was never too rough for Carla, the same way it was never too rough for him. They just seemed to click in bed, it was the one place where they fitted without need for words, they just did. He watched Carla play with her breasts with one hand while two fingers fucked themselves deep inside her, locking her eyes with his, he was unable to look anywhere but her. He knew, he just knew that she was putting on a show just for him, the way she bit her lips and she showed him her sex, drenched in fluids, he knew he had just as many, if not more, on his face.

She wanted a show? He could give her a show. Carla had to bit her lips to keep the moan from breaking through when he liked his fingers clean, tasting her. Suddenly she was needy, she left her breasts alone in order to pop herself up on her elbow, still looking at him, a hand still going in and out of her pussy.

“Are you getting naked or what?” She asked, impatiently, she wanted him buried deep inside her, she wanted to lock him between her legs and abandon herself to the feelings, just like she’d done so many times in her dreams this past month and a half.

It took him less than 20 seconds to be in his birthday suit. He pulled her back down and grabbed her hips, he took her hand off her pussy and put the two fingers in his mouth, sucking hard. 

“Only two fingers, Carla, you know you’re not stretched enough for me. You did this on purpose, you want to feel me there tomorrow.” He loved teasing her, seeing how her eyes got bigger and darker and how she had to bite her lips to keep the sounds from coming out. He sucked on her fingers one last time before he kissed her. “Still no need for condoms?” He asked, he knew the answer was probably that no, no condoms, but he still wanted to check, although he wouldn’t know what he’d do if she said to yes, use one.

“Shut up.” She said, suddenly taking charge. She flipped them so that Samuel has lying on his back and she was straddling him. She grabbed his cock and impaled herself, there was no other way of putting it, she took him all at once with very little preparation, her walls protested, it ached, she loved it and didn’t give herself nor Samuel even half a second to accommodate to the feeling before she pulled him out almost completely and impaled herself again. 

It was fast and tortuous at the same time. Samuel almost couldn’t take it, her hands were pushing him into the bed, he couldn’t even move for fear of slipping out of her completely, she was tight around him, almost impossibly so and the view above him was the most erotic thing he’d ever seen, he had to really concentrate in not coming, not yet, she needed to come first, he didn’t really know why but he knew it, and that she knew it too, she needed to come first. But her blonde hair was loose around her shoulders, some strands of it sticking to her sweaty neck and forehead, her breasts where going up and down and her nipples were impossibly hard, what really made him have to look away was the way her eyes were closed, she was concentrated on the feeling, only the feeling. Her jaw was clenched up, trying not to make any noise, he knew it was beginning to be too much when she began bobbing up and down his dick in very fast and very swallow movements.

She almost gasped when he grabbed her by the hips, accompanying her movements, helping her control the movement, but she actually moaned when he sat up and bit her nipples hard, she knew he liked to bite and suck and leave marks, she hadn’t liked it at first but now… Just thinking that in a week she’d look at the bruise in her breast and think of him made her pussy clench harder around him, if that was possible. He was nipping and biting and sucking at her breasts, and she was too lost in the way he felt inside her, the way his mouth moved across her chest, she could feel the heat pooling on her stomach, her orgasm building up impossibly high.

He knew she’d come the moment he shifted positions again and she grabbed the headboard behind him. He’d found the spot inside her that made her completely lose it and she opened her mouth in a soundless scream. He stopped worshipping her breasts to look at her, her blue eyes now open, half in trance, staring at them, between them, the point where they met. The filthy sounds their bodies made when they slapped against each other and their pants where everything you could hear, when they looked at each other in the eyes they felt the love and the need and he helped her along when he pressed his thumb to her button, unleashing the first orgasm, he didn’t stop the circular movements of his thumb as she rode through it silently, looking deep in his eyes, loving him. She was overly sensitive, they both knew it, they also knew that they both liked pain a little too much so he didn’t stop, she moaned, it was low and he only heard it because she had her mouth in his ear, sucking and nibbling at his earlobe, but he took it as a win.

Carla let herself go as her body began building up to a second orgasm, fuck it, she allowed herself moaning and cursing, it was low and she could pretend he didn’t hear it, but she needed it, she needed to be vocal right now, she was tired and overly sensitive, it hurt to have Samuel pounding so deep into her and to have his head buried in her chest, biting and sucking at what she was sure would be a trail of marks and bruises in a few hours. The worst part was his thumb though, he knew all the right things to do, twisting her clit between his fingers and pushing and rubbing and she was gone again. She threw her head back and came silently for the second time in less than five minutes on Samuel’s cock. Knowing she wouldn’t be able to stand it too much longer she reached back behind her and grabbed Samuel’s balls, massaging them gently on her hand.

“Come on, Samu, come for me, let me see you.” That’s all that took, he came crashing down, spilling his seed deep inside her as she milked him all the way through it. They stopped when they felt Samuel going limp inside her. She lied on top of him, loving the way he traced her back with little circular movements. He looked at his watch.

“That didn’t last even 15 minutes” he said chuckling against the top of her head, “we must have set a new record.”

She laughed, her muscles ached and she could feel how sticky she was getting between her legs, with their fluids mixed together and drying off against her skin. She rolled over, wincing slightly as she felt him slip out of her and laid on her back by his side. 

“Fuck”. She said, the sound muffled by the arm she had thrown on her face. She felt him cradling her face and removed the arm to look him in the eyes.

“We just did” he said, way too coy for someone who’d just had one of the best orgasms of their life. He sat up carefully. “Are you okay? I wasn’t… I didn’t… That was rough.”

Carla smiled. “I’m very sore and very well fucked, just how I like it.” She said, still basking in the afterglow. He chuckled and kissed her lazily. 

They stayed like that, just kissing and hands touching and exploring. Nothing else happened, there wasn’t any sexual reason behind their light touches and kisses, behind the giggles and smiles… they were just happy to be in each other’s company in their little bubble where they were just themselves, they talked about the month they’d been apart, Carla told him about her failed cooking attempts in Chile with Lu and Valerio and Samu told her about how he hadn’t even attempted it with his brother in Morocco, she said, jokingly, that she now talked more with Ander than she did with him, which only made him laugh, cause, fair point. They talked about the courses they’d be taking that year, never mentioning the fact that they wouldn’t be taking them in the same city, they talked about everything and nothing. They mostly laughed and kissed for hours.

The magic almost broke when Carla’s stomach complained, bringing them back to the real world.

“Shower and dinner?” She asked, through sleepy eyelids.

“You want me to make macaroni so we can talk?” He asked, actually wanting her to say no, not yet, he wasn’t ready to get back to the real world, right now their relationship seemed so easy, which it wasn’t, she knew it and he knew it, but, for a second, they could pretend like it was, it felt easy right now. He read his own fear in her eyes.

“Can we leave it for tomorrow?” She asked, he smiled, “Of course”, she kissed him lightly on the lips.

“If you don’t touch me where it hurts, we can shower together.” She said, he smiled lazily at that.

“Let’s go.” He answered, not promising anything.

They took way too long to shower, they played with the water like they were five year olds, laughing and squealing in delight and happiness, they used the excuse of a massage to explore each other’s bodies and ended up having oral sex, despite the fact that Carla was sore she had needed to come anyway. “I only owe you 7 orgasms now”. Samuel said from between her legs and, once her brained decided to work again, she only laughed him off.

They ordered in and ate Chinese food naked on the sofa, Samuel got to have his beer this time which made him more happy than he’d like to admit.

They didn’t talk about anything too deep the next day either, choosing to spend the day exploring the city. Samuel had never been there and they did everything a tourist is supposed to do, but they skipped the Louvre, Samuel wasn’t too much of an artist anyway, and the line was too long to be worth it. They got back to the apartment and fell asleep after what could not be described as anything but making love, although it made both of them flinch and neither of them said it out loud, they both knew it and that was enough.

They talked on the fourth day and they talked because he called. Samuel wasn’t really expecting it, he’d seen Cristian in Morocco, when he’d been visiting his brother. The guy was in a wheelchair, both Nano and himself had kept it a secret that he was more or less dating Carla now. Cristian saw red everytime they even mentioned her name so the topic had been avoided. In spite of that, they’d had fun, Augusts in Morocco were hot, even for the standards of three spanish men, so they’d spent most of their time on the beach, swimming and playing cards and eating watermelon. 

Cristian was back in Madrid now, and they’d agreed he’d give Samu a call whenever he wanted to hang out, so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise to see his name pop up in the caller id of his phone one afternoon, while Samu and Carla were lying on the sofa, reading with the windows open.

“Is this Cristian the Cristian?” She asked handing him the phone. She didn’t know they’d kept in touch, she thought the guy had just disappeared from everyone’s lives, which, honestly, now that she thought about it, was stupid.

Samuel only nodded and answered the phone standing up and moving to the window.

“Dude, where are you? Have you moved?” Hello to you too, Cristian. Samuell thought and he cursed under his breath.

“No, I’m not home right now?”

“Where are you? Can I come? I’m bored out of my fucking mind. I want a beer and a club, and you have to come with me, we’ll get me some pussy and you can have my leftovers.”

Samuel had to think fast, he hadn’t told Cristian about Carla and he hadn’t told Carla about Cristian. His options were limited, he could lie, word it so that Carla wouldn’t notice that he wasn’t telling him about her, but he didn’t want to do that. Carla wasn’t a dirty secret, she was the best thing that had happened to him in a long time, and if Cristian wanted to be part of his life, he’d have to get on board with their relationship. So he chose the second option, he told the truth.

“I don’t need any help with that. I’m in Paris.”

“Uh, the city of love, I was actually talking about sex, you know? About fucking not about being fucked.”

“I know, I’m having sex.”

“Good for you! Does she have a weird dog name? Why do french names all sound like something you’d name your dog?” 

“She doesn’t have a weird dog name, I’m here with Carla.”

Cristian went cold on the other side of the line and Samuel braced himself for whatever was about to happen.

“So you’re fucked. She’ll fuck you over, you know?”

“Maybe. But you don’t know that.”

“You saw what she did to me. She’ll do the same thing to you.”

Samuel looked over at Carla, sitting cross legged on the sofa, pretending not to care, not to listen, he knew she was hanging on every word. He smiled, she was beautiful, and manipulative, and headstrong, and difficult, and unpredictable, and cold. But she was also loyal, and hurt, and sad, and compassionate in her own way, and her love ran deeper than anyone else he’d ever met, and she understood him and never asked him for anything he couldn’t give, she made him feel safe and strong and capable of doing anything, but above it all, she made him love her, and he loved that feeling, the feeling of loving someone completely, with your whole body and soul while knowing he’s being loved in the same exact way.

“She tried.” He said, remembering the first time they’d had sex, in a bathroom stall.

“So? Why are you still with her?”

“I tried too, and then we fell in love”. He said, simply, locking eyes with the most amazing girl in the world.

“Well, if you want to kill yourself I’m not gonna get in the way.”

“Okay. I’ll give you a call when I get back. Have fun.”

Cristian didn’t answer, he just hung up.

He came back to the sofa and sat down picking his book back up, Madame Bovary, Carla only had classic french novels, he was reading the only thing that was not in french, he could read the language, it was close enough to spanish to be comprehensible, but he had to concentrate way too much and he was only reading it to keep her company, if he’d known she read he would have brought his own book, he had It opened where he’d left it in his nightstand back in Madrid, he really, really wanted to know what happened next, what the fuck was in Beverly’s bathroom? But a bored french housewife would have to do for now. The book wasn’t half bad either.

After a while Carla gave up. She’d read the same page five times in a row now, a new record for her. She couldn’t stop thinking about the phone call, what had Cristian wanted? How was he? She’d made sure the medical bills in Switzerland got payed, but the last thing she’d heard from Cristian was that he was as healed up as he’d ever bee and back in Spain. She never loved him, he was fun at the beginning, then he became someone she needed to keep quiet, and now… Now whenever she thought about him she just felt guilty.

Her mind ran through all the things he must’ve told Samu about her, she knew he hated her, she didn’t blame him. He was probably trying to convince Samuel to leave her. Maybe he should. What were they doing? She was too damaged to go through this again. She couldn’t get her heart broken again, not by Samuel.

She stood up and moved to her favourite chair, she’d found it in an old street market in the outskirts of Paris. She needed to put some distance between them, distance and walls. That’s what she needed. The four days they’d spent together had been magical, and like something that had happened to someone else, not her.

“Carla don’t do this, come back.” Samuel was suddenly sitting straighter in the sofa, feeling the mood switch, he put the book aside. He could feel it, the wall, the cold. Carla’s defence mechanism. It was funny how used to it he was now, how tired of it, too. He didn’t think he’d have to crack her again. They’d already been through it. 

Carla saw the tired expression in his face. Great, so now she was exhausting too. Good. That was actually good, this way he’d leave easier.

“Why don’t you just ask what you want to ask, Carla? Please. We agreed, no more games.” His voice sounded so tired, he was so good at hiding his emotions from the world he almost succeeds. But Carla knew him too well. He was hurt, she’d hurt him. She hated herself for that, but kept going, unable to stop. 

“What did he want?” She didn’t need to clarify who she was referring to. Her voice is like daggers and Samuel feels like he’s been literally stabbed.

“Nothing. He was bored.” He tries to keep his cool, not to lose it, he doesn’t want to fight, he wants to go back to the quiet peace they had going on between them 20 minutes ago, before his brother’s idiot best friend decided he was too fucking bored to entertain himself.

“He told you to leave me, didn’t he?” She’s looking straight into his eyes. Cold. His aren’t. There’s a fire behind Samuel’s eyes. A will to fight. It takes her back for a moment.

“Yes.” He said. Honest and straight to the point. That’s how they’d been lately, no games, just the truth. It came easier to him than it did to her. For him the lies had been the only way to survive in Las Encinas, for her… She’d been raised to play the game. It was harder to leave that behind, she played the game without even realizing she was doing it.

“Then do it. Leave me. You’re better off without me anyway.”

He just looked at her, his brown eyes went back to tired as he sized her up.

“Why are you doing this?” There was no accusation in his voice, he just wanted to understand. “Why are you trying to break us up?”

Carla didn’t answer, just looked back at him, still stone cold.

“Why won’t you fight for us? Tell me the truth, please, we are way passed these walls.” She could see the pain he tried to mask behind his eyes and in his voice. She didn’t want Samuel to get hurt. That had been her number one priority since the moment she’d caught feelings, before she’d even admitted it to herself. So she forced herself to be brave, to be honest.

“I… I don’t know how to.” That was the truth. There, laid bare for the world to see. The world that mattered, their world. Samuel didn’t say anything, he had a feeling that, if he just stayed quiet for a little bit longer, she’d open up. Actually talk for once.

“I… I want to. I really do.” She stood up and kneeled between his legs, taking his hands in hers. She loved how big and rough they were, she loved the calluses from the bike and the gym, she loved how soft and careful they always were around her, how loved they made her feel. She took a deep breath. She’d tell him the truth and then let him decide, choose if she was worth it. She didn’t know there was practically nothing she could.

“I love you but… I’ve never had to fight for a relationship. I don’t know how to do it. I… I never had someone actually worth fighting for. Whenever I see you, I’m scared of you leaving me. I wake up some days thinking you’ll leave me, that you’ve had enough, that I’m not enough, that you’ve decided this it too hard and not worth it. So I choose to leave you before you can, I’ve made up so many speeches about why we have to break up in my head that I’ve lost count. But then you call me and… I can’t leave you, Samuel. I love you.” It was like something had unlocked inside of her, she couldn’t stop talking now. “My parents suck, Samuel, my relationship with Polo… I think that was more about what society expected of me than about what either of us wanted, Cristian was… Something I needed to do, so was Yeray. I know how to do that, you know? The hunt. I’m really good at it, drawing someone in, being drawn in… I just, I don’t know what happens next, once you actually have something that’s not out of obligation, that’s not just sex, something you want to keep, something good. I don’t know how to fight for you to stay so…”

“So you fight for me to leave.” Samuel finished for her, he was hypnotized by her voice, he’d never actually heard her talk this much about her feelings before.

“Yes. I’m not stupid, you know? I know I’m beautiful, breathtaking even, I’m aware of it, I actually like it most of the time, but other times? There are so many people who get drawn in by my body, I encourage it most of the time, too. I know what they want and I give it to them because I want it too, but… The thing about people coming to you because of your looks means that no one wants to stay, not really. They come for the parties and the sex and the toys, some even stay because of that, but I don’t want them to, I don’t want them to stay because of these things so I never care much when they leave. You didn’t. You stayed for the right reasons and never left and I just… You see ME. You always have. You saw through the walls and the cold the second you chose to look and… No one has done that before. I don’t know what to do, how do I fight for you? You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. How do I fight for you?.”

Samuel looked at her. She was vulnerable, more vulnerable than he was used to seeing her. She blinked and a tear rolled down her face. He’d never seen her cry. Never. She hadn’t cried in years, but when Samuel, not really knowing what to do, hugged her and held her tight something broke inside of her.

She cried like she hadn’t cried before, she cried because she loved Samuel, cried because her parents never loved her enough, cried because she was scared, scared of losing him and scared of having him, she was scared of the thousand kilometers standing between them, she cried because she didn’t know how to feel anymore, because no one had taught her, because they’d taught her to be cold and calculating and manipulative, but not how to love, how to take care of another human being and how to allow herself to be taken care of, she cried because her father practically sold her to Yeray and her mother allowed him to, she cried because she missed Valerio and Lu, she cried because Polo was locked up in jail and it was unfair, she cried because she felt guilty about what happened to Cristian. But mainly she cried because she felt so loved and safe between Samuel’s arms she didn’t know how to handle it.

Samuel just held her and let her cry until she was empty, she was mostly quiet, her shoulders shaking softly as her tears stained his t-shirt. He fell more in love with her, he didn’t think it was possible to love her anymore, but he did. She was allowing him to see her like this, so broken down. He was so proud of her. This was the bravest thing he’d ever seen her do, break down in front of him. He felt loved and honoured and, even though he hated that Carla was crying, that she was hurting, he was happy as his heart broke for the girl between his arms. Before Carla he didn’t really think it was possible to feel two contradicting emotions so deeply at the same time. But here he was, happy and broken hearted, with tears about to spill from his eyes, holding the girl he loved.

“I’ll help you, okay?” He said once she was back from the bathroom after washing her face. She was exhausted, crying took way more energy than she’d expected, but she also felt… clean somehow, more relaxed than she’d felt in a long time. 

When she looked at him questioningly Samuel clarified. “I’ll help you hold on to us. You’ll learn. It’s just about trust. I trust this is strong enough, I trust that you love me and that I love you and I know this is rare and it doesn’t happen often.”

She looked at him. He was boiling pasta. Macaroni. Just what she needed. It was scary, how well they understood each other sometimes. She opened up two beers as she thought about what to say next.

“Why do you?” She gave him one of the beers, he took a sip to hold his big stupid smile, why was Carla always able to make him smile? Even when she didn’t intend it.  
“Pass me the salt, please?” Samuel said as an excuse to gather his thoughts.

“You have to answer, first.” She said hiding the salt behind her back. How was he able to bring this playful side out of her so easily? She never felt as young and carefree as she felt around Samuel, but he was one of the most serious people she’d ever met, too. Except when he was around her, sometimes, when it was just the two of them, he behaved like a child, giggling and teasing and playing around, it made her feel loved and it put such a big responsibility on her shoulders, it was a Samuel that he didn’t let most people see, maybe his brother and Omar had seen it too, perhaps even Rebe, but no one else. And she was sure no one had seen it to this extend. It was one of the weird ways they showed their love for each other, playing and teasing, being silly and carefree, something neither of them were used to feeling.

They were laughing, Samuel trying to reach for the salt behind Carla’s back until he’d backed her up against the fridge.

“What are you gonna do, now?” He asked as he pinned her there, grabbing her arms and crushing her body with his. He felt her everywhere, they hadn’t really bothered with cloths, they were only wearing underwear and a t-shirt, he could feel her legs against his, her breasts soft, pressing against his chest, nipples hardening. The air around them shifted and the electricity was almost visible. She moaned softly and arched her back once she felt him begin to harden against her, unable to move her hands, she raised one leg, wrapping it around his waist, pulling him closer and grinding once, hard, against him.

“Fuck” He groaned, he wasn’t expecting for things to take this turn, but he wasn’t one to complain, either. He closed his eyes and looked for her lips. She pulled her head back, as much as the small space allowed her and he opened his eyes frustrated, only to find big, blue eyes staring teasingly back at him.

“You haven’t answered.”

“Are you really using sex to trick me into talking?” He asked, stupidly because they both knew that’s exactly what she was doing and that he didn’t really mind it one bit. She smirked at him and he tried to kiss her again, but she moved and his lips landed on her cheek instead.

“Okay. Let’s do this the right way.” He said stepping aside. “Please, hand me the salt or you’re gonna have to eat stale macaroni.” He said holding out a hand. She gave him the salt and sat down on one of the kitchen stools, waiting for him to start speaking and thinking that no amount of salt could make the macaroni actually taste good. She didn’t mind, this wasn’t about how it tasted, they both knew it.

“How is it that we always end up having this conversations in the kitchen?” He asked, trying to delay the actual conversation.

“I’m guessing because we always end up in very small apartments.” She said smiling and taking a sip of her beer. It was bitter, she liked it, even if she preferred whine. He laughed at her comment, turning her back to her and chopping garlic.

“I trust this because I’ve never felt like this.”

“What about Marina?” She asked quietly, they never really talked about their exes, the story was way too convoluted.

“I loved her, I was in love with her, of course, but… I don’t know, it wasn’t like this. With her it felt like she had the upper hand, it was always her choice, she chose what we were to each other, she chose what we did… I just followed her around. With you… I feel like there’s a balance between us, we are equal and it makes it much more real in my eyes. It makes me love you more that you see me as an equal, even when we are so different. That’s why I trust this thing we have.”

She smiled. “It’s the same way for me.” She said, softly, holding out a hand for him to take once he turned around, his hands smelled of garlic, onion and tomato sauce. They smelled like Samuel.

“You know, what you said before, about people coming to you because of your body?” She nodded once, looking at him as he turned around to keep cooking. “I never have. I mean, you look amazing, don’t get me wrong, your body should be in a museum, but… You always seemed dangerous and unattainable to me, I would’ve never approached you if it had been only about your body, or only about sex.” He clarified, looking over his shoulder at Carla. She was smiling lightly, running her finger along the mouth of the bottle in circles.

“I know.” She simply said. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” He was stirring the sauce, she knew the food would be ready soon.

“Why didn’t you give up? When I was with Yeray, why didn’t you give up? I was… I was mean and cruel to you but you… You kept coming back.”

Samuel smiled and handed her a plate. “I loved you. I loved you since… I don’t know, I probably fell in love with you the moment you took me to that bathroom stall and challenged me to choke you.” He scoffed at the memory, it was so long ago. “You were so brave and so put together and I knew you were playing with me but I wanted you to, I didn’t really care. It was practically love at first sight, because even though I had looked at you before, I hadn’t really seen you.”

“I think I might’ve been traumatized” He confessed, taking a bite from his plate. He was eating across from her, standing up. “After Marina I really didn’t wanna feel, it had all been so messy, but you… God you made me wake up again, I felt I was trapped in a nightmare except for when I was with you, when we were together… It just felt right. There’s no other way to put it. We’ve always felt right to me, like it was unavoidable, like no matter what we did or who we were with, we would end up like this. The day you came to my house, the day you said you’d lost because we couldn’t be together after what happened… I almost lost it. I know it didn’t look like it but I really didn’t know what to do without you, I had been so deep inside my misery I was so angry, always, except when I was with you. And it’s weird because when all of this began you were the person I was the angriest with.”

“When I came back from Guzmán’s grandparent’s house you… You hated me, or you thought you had to hate me, I don’t know. You were cold and distant again and I… I felt like, no matter what happened our hands were tied, you know? We had no other option but to keep coming back. And we did. And I know it’s gonna be difficult, not only because you’re in Paris and I’m in Madrid, but because you’re the daughter of a marchioness and I can barely afford rent, and you love whine and I love beer and you like to go shopping and I like Star Wars and horror movies and we are both messy and complicated. We come from different worlds and that terrifies me. I’m scared the world will succeed in keeping us apart, because I know they’ll try, but we’ll try to keep us together, and that’s enough, I think. At least for now.”

“This is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever said to me”, Carla said, smiling. She felt her heart swell. “But it was also super cheesy and I think we’ll need to reheat the macaroni now.” Samuel laughed and jumped over the counter to kiss her. They made love slowly on the couch, the warm evening light coming through the window and making their bodies covered with sweat glitter and shine. They had never looked so beautiful to each other, they had never felt so much love for each other, as they did there, in that small loft in the middle of Paris, naked, with the windows open and the Eiffel Tower in the background.

Maybe Paris had her reasons for being known as the city of love.

The next three days were golden. Carla felt like she was on a cloud, still scared, still terrified of what was to come, but knowing that Samuel felt it too and that, in spite of the fear they were both willing to do this made her feel brave and powerful and unstoppable. 

She showed Samuel the city, not just the big important buildings, she showed him her city, they went to her favourite clubs, she took him to her favourite restaurant, to the small coffee shop where she usually had breakfast on the weekends, she showed him her university, walked with him through her favourite streets, showed him her favourite shops, even bought one book he recommended, Dune it was called, something she’d never pick up for herself, but he convinced her telling her it wasn’t only about spaceships, that it was about politics and that she’d love it. She made him buy a good english translation of Les Miserables, telling him that the spanish translation sucked and that she couldn’t have him in Paris again if he didn’t read the book.

They had fun, they laughed and they talked about everything and about nothing, they had sex, rough sex, slow, tender sex, shower sex, floor sex, kitchen sex. They had sex everywhere in her apartment and in the bathroom stalls of a club a day they went out. They made love and they fucked. It was better than it had ever been between them, it was even better than it had been in London that summer, Samuel thought nothing could ever be as good as London, but it turned out Paris could, Paris was.

Their last night together they decided to stay in, they made pizza from scratch and ate it while sipping on wine and watching a bad Netflix movie, it was perfect. They didn’t say goodby. Samuel had to leave at the crack of dawn to pick up Omar and Ander at noon and they went to bed early. 

Samuel woke her half an hour before he had to leave, his head was between her legs and he made her come with his mouth. Carla was so sleepy she had to call him hours later, when she properly woke up, naked and looking at the trail of bruises he’d left on her chest, to make sure that it had happened, that she hadn’t just dreamt it. Carla smiled at his confirmation, it had been so good she was sure she’d dreamed it. She was a little bit disappointed, though, that she hadn’t been awake enough to return the favour, Samuel hadn’t minded, he loved seeing her come undone as much as he loved coming undone because of her.

Omar and Ander were already waiting for him, bags packed and having a coffee in a bar right by the highway that ran across the town. Samuel jumped to the back sit without leaving the car and fell asleep before the doors shut.

Omar woke him up at a gas station in Castilla offering him a water bottle and telling him to stretch his legs. Samuel stood up and arched his back, his whole body hurt from hours of driving, the uncomfortable position he’d fallen asleep in and the fact that his back had been acting up all week, god knew why.

“Sorry for falling asleep, I guess I haven’t been the best company.” Omar chuckled at his apology.

“‘Come on, let’s go for a walk, Ander is getting us some sandwiches for lunch and I think we need to talk.”

Samuel drank the whole water bottle in one go.

“Okay. What do you want?” He asked, cutting straight to the point and beginning to walk, aimlessly, just to get the sleep out of his body.

“First of all, thank you for convincing Ander and I to take this week. We needed it.” Omar said smiling shyly.

“Good sex?”

Omar laughed. “The best we’ve had in a while, and the most we’ve had in a while, too. What about you?”

“Same.” He said smiling.

“Did you actually talk and visit something or where you naked in her loft the whole day?” Omar asked, half courious, half worried. Samuel knew he still wasn’t 100% on board with his relationship with Carla, but he was trying, and Samu was grateful for that.

“We are able to do things with our clothes on from time to time, whether you believe it or not.” He said through a smile.

“If you say so…” Omar answered, teasing his best friend who shoved him with his shoulder. “Are you still doing your weird relationship thing?” He asked, more serious.

“It’s not weird, it’s open. A lot of people do that. Not all of us are lucky enough to be shearing and apartment with our boyfriends.” Samuel said, keeping the tone light. 

“I like Carla, she brings out a very fun side of you.” Omar was joking, but he was also honest, Samuel knew that, so he blushed. He never blushed, fuck.

Ander came with three huge spanish omelette sandwiches. They wolfed them down and went back to the car, Omar took the wheel and Ander took Samuel’s place on the back sit, getting ready to take a long siesta.

“I talked to Carla on the phone today.” Ander said, before he let himself drift to sleep. He wanted to make one thing very clear. “She’s in love with you, Samuel.”

Samuel smiled at him through the rearview mirror. “I know.”

“You better treat her right, or I’ll murder you myself.” Ander warned him. Samuel smiled, he’d have to tell Carla that, she needed to know that there were many people looking out for her, she felt very lonely sometimes.

“Please do.” Was all he said, never losing his smile.

“God, she’s got you whipped” Ander was smiling now. “I’ve never seen you smile so much.”

“That’s exactly what I said!” Omar was practically glowing in the drivers sit.

“That’s why I’m dating you.” Said Ander, grabbing his hand and kissing it. Samuel looked through the window, allowing them some privacy. He was happy Omar had someone like Ander by his side, and even happier to know that he was looking out for Carla, too, that she had other people to fall back to if something happened between them.

Samuel fell asleep again and dreamt of a girl with big blue eyes and long blond hair. It was a good dream.


	2. October 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carla and Samuel in Madrid, an art exhibition, a birthday party and a company event.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!!  
> Sorry it took me this long to post the new chapter, I really wanna thank every one who left kudos on this work, everyone who commented and everyone who read this. It really made my day, my week. It fuelled me to keep on writing.  
> The thing is that I must've written the first few paragraphs like a thousand times before I wrote something that was even remotely presentable and once I got it, I just kept on writing, so it took me a week to begin to write this and two days to actually do it.  
> Thank you so much for reading this, for leaving comments and kuddos, knowing that there are people out there who choose to spend a few minutes of their time reading what I've written makes my day, like just knowing the numbers of the people who read this keep going up makes my day. So, thank you for your time, truly.  
> Stay safe, please.

Carla was extremely glad she had the money to afford first class, it allowed her to actually be the first one out of the plane. She wasn’t nervous, not exactly, but her body was pent up with so much energy and adrenaline from the anticipation, form the wait, that she just HAD to get out of there.

Paris-Madrid was not a long flight, but sitting still while she knew that Samuel was waiting for her in the airport made it seem excruciatingly long. Truth be told, ir had been a long month for her, with classes starting once more and practically running the wineries she hadn’t had much time for anything else, not Samuel, not her few friends from Paris, not Lu, nobody. Not even sex. She hadn’t had sex since Samuel left her almost 6 weeks ago. She was positively horney. She’d missed Samuel for reasons that went beyond sex, but right now, pressing her legs together trying to get some friction as the plane landed, it was the thing she wanted from him the most. They’d have time to talk and laugh and just lie in bed together doing nothing later. Right now, Carla wanted sex.

She practically ran out of the plane and, as she headed to look for her bag she cursed herself, if she’d packed a smaller bag, she wouldn’t have to wait for god knew how long for her luggage to show up and then go to Samuel. She knew that she’d made the right choice, a week and a half of meetings required a big wardrobe and she didn’t have anything lying around in Samuel’s place, but she just really wanted to see him. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and smell him and kiss him and feel him there, close to her again.

She’d realized how good Samuel was for her the moment he left, because when he left the peaceful, light feeling she got around him left as well and she was lonely once more in her apartment in the middle of one of the busiest cities in the world. She had friends, that wasn’t the issue, she’d always had friends and she’d always felt lonely. Not with Samuel.

* * *

Samuel left his house in a good mood. He wanted to get to Carla as soon as possible, didn’t want to make her wait, and was happy she was coming over. But then Christian called. The other boy had been an asshole again and Samuel had no more patience left in him. He was mad because he was unable to make Christian see that what he had with Carla was good. He knew the guy felt responsible, thought he HAD to look out for him in Nano’s name or whatever, but he was 20, he didn’t need a babysitter. And Christian had no idea what his relationship with Carla was like. So he ruined his mood, hung up his phone and began to pace like a caged beast, why on earth did Carla take so long to show up? He knew first class got out first. Why wasn’t she there?

He’d missed her. A lot. More than he thought he would given the fact that he’d just had one of the craziest months of his life, starting university was no small thing, and his professors made Law seem like the scariest thing in the world. He was positively stressed out by the end of the first week. His work was also demanding, and although he only worked 3 days a week he pulled in long hours and hated his boss. On top of that, Rebeca had had a huge fight with her mom over her drug business again and had slept on his apartment for the better part of three weeks, he loved the girl, he truly did, but was immensely glad when she chose to try to patch things up with her mom and moved back home.

He was trying to calm himself down, the fact that his friends and uni were driving him crazy had nothing to do with Carla and everything to do with himself, he didn’t want her to pay for it and so he needed to breath.

It turned out all of that, his pacing, his deep breath, the amount of times he told himself to just chill were unnecessary. Once he saw Carla come out of the doors all his problems evaporated, she looked beautiful in skinny jeans, a white blouse, a gray, open, jacket that fell to her knees and high heels. She was probably the only woman to ever get on a plain in black stilettos. She was perfect, her long blond hair pulled in a perfect ponytail, her outfit was simple, modern, stylish and modern, just like her. Once more he found himself wondering what he’d done to deserve her.

Carla felt her face relax when he saw him, standing there surrounded by people. It surprised her how easily she found his face in the crowd, his brown eyes staring straight at her, he wasn’t exactly smiling, but there was so much love on his face she found herself almost preferring this expression to the big childish green he sometimes pulled around her.

He looked hot. There was no other way of putting it, his plain outfit huffing him in all the right places, she could see the outline of his pecks through his white t-shirt and his baggy jeans hung low in his hips with the help of a plain brown belt.

They moved towards each other like magnets, slowly and quietly until they were facing each other, Carla towered over him slightly because she was wearing heels. “Hi.” He said, his voice low and deep, wondering if there would come a point where he’d be able to look at Carla and not think of sex.

Carla grabbed his hand and entwined their fingers together, closing her eyes and drowning in the sparks, the electricity that always seemed to surround her when Samuel was close. She’d come to think of it as part of herself when Samuel had been in Paris, taking it for granted, it was one of the reasons why Samuel leaving left her feeling empty, but now here they were, in front of each other, and so was the electricity.

“Hi.” She said, looking at him straight in the eyes. They didn’t kiss, didn’t really feel comfortable with public displays of affection, they didn’t really need to, Carla had the best idea in the world, at least at the moment, and tugging Samuel’s hand she began to walk in the opposite direction from the exit.

“Where are we going?” He asked, more curious than anything, he didn’t really care, he was with Carla and pretty sure he’d go to the moon without an astronaut suit if she asked him. This was one of the reasons Christian and him had fought, Christian said that the girl made him think with his cock, Samuel countered that she made him think with his heart. Christian didn’t really think there was any difference.

“Bathroom” She said, winking at him. Samuel just laughed and took her suitcase from her. God, one day they’d end up on camera. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Carla had a voice that told her that it wasn’t smart to keep having sex in public places, but she wasn’t exactly thinking with her head at the moment, so she didn’t have trouble shutting her up.

Samuel laughed when she pushed him down until he was sitting on the toilet sit, after having locked the door, looking up at her.

“I think I’m having flashbacks”. He said once she sat down straddling him and began undoing his belt. Carla smiled against his neck, she knew what he meant, but this felt so different to her, their first time together had been a rough fuck in a dark bathroom and it had happened because they were mad at each other. They had fucked out of hate, it was different now.

She licked her hand and grabbed the base of his cock and pulled once, hard, just on the right edge of rough, just how they liked it. “In those flashbacks you’re having”, she whispered in his ear, letting the warm air brush against his neck, grinding herself on his legs and pumping her hand just the way he licked, “I didn’t know that, if I kiss you here” she said leaning in and sucking right behind his ear, making him gasp, “you can feel it all the way down to your cock.” Carla moved back a little, still pumping him, and grinding down hard on his leg. “We know each other.” It was a statement. She wasn’t looking for an answer on affirmation. She knew it.

Samuel rose a hand and twisted it in her hair, pulling her head back and exposing her neck. He dragged his teeth from her collar bone all the way up to her ear and bit down on her earlobe hard. She whimpered and felt her underwear pooling with slick. God, she needed him inside her.

Samuel reached down and popped the button of her jeans as he lowered his head and bit at her breast through the blouse and the bra, hard enough for her to feel it and still not hurt. She held back a moan and stood up, unzipping and stepping out of her jeans. Samuel took the opportunity to stand up and let his trousers and underwear pool down around his ankles. Then looked at her and laughed quietly when he saw her struggling to get out of the death trap that were her jeans.

“I don’t understand why women insist on wearing jeans this tight, they aren’t practical at all”. He said as he pulled one of the jeans’ legs to help Carla get naked.

“You love staring at my ass, don’t you?” She asked as she folded the jeans nicely and put them on top of her suitcase, so they wouldn’t get dirty.

“Yes I do.” He said, grabbing Carla by the hips and dragging her between his legs, he kissed her navel squeezing her but and then dragged her panties all the way down, she stepped away from them gracefully and moved to straddle him.

“Well,” she said, concentrating on keeping up with the conversation, it was getting more and more difficult the closer she got to Samuel. “That’s why I do it, then, they make my ass look spectacular”. She yelped when Samuel stuck a finger inside her and grabbed his shoulders to steady herself. Samuel moved his finger in and out a few times until she told him to add another. When he did, he opened his fingers deep inside her, scissoring her and opening her wide, she suppressed a deep moan by biting on his shoulder.

Samuel moved her closer to him so that her pussy hovered over his cock, he grabbed at the base and guided himself in, moaning as he felt her tightness envelop him. She, of course, didn’t make a sound, but he could see her eyes turn glassy, lost in her own desire.

Suddenly they heard the bathroom door open and they both remembered where they where, Carla’s hand flew to his mouth, effectively silencing him. They stilled, looking deep into each other’s eyes listening for the sounds of the person as they entered the stool next to where they where. There was laughter in their eyes, laughter and excitement. Having sex in public places was fun because there was always the chance you might get caught, and, if they made any sound they would.

Carla chose to tease Samuel, she thought it was fun how vocal he actually was during sex, how much he moaned and groaned and sighed, so she rocked her hips forward a bit, making his cock slip deeper inside her and pulled back, she repeated the movement. He bit on her hand both to suppress a moan and in retaliation. She just laughed softly and they kept moving together in a tortuously slow rhythm, keeping quiet, with laughter in their eyes.

“I hate you”. Samuel told her once they heard the other person leave, grabbing Carla by the hips, quickening the pace, hitting the perfect spot inside of her and making her throw back her head, exposing her neck to him.

“No, you don’t”. She said as she helped Samuel move her up and down. “You love me”. She shuddered when his lips closed around her pulse point and sucked. “Please don’t leave a mark, I have meetings this week.” Was the last coherent thing she said. After that she buried her face in Samuel’s neck, kissing and smelling him, basking in the fact that they were together again.

He let go of one of her hips to find her clit and helped her peak with fast circular movements. She rode him to her climax and orgasmed clenching quietly around him, soaking him with her juices. He helped through it, becoming impossibly sweet and stroking her head as she came back from the cloud of pleasure he’d propelled her to.

“I love you”. He said once he saw that her eyes were back to normal, that they’d lost the glassy look they had when she was high on pleasure. He was still painfully hard inside her, but the look of pure adoration she gave him in response to his words made him forget about his pleasure and he caressed her cheek, marvelling at her beauty and at her love for him. He wanted to treasure her, to love her and to walk by her side forever.

They kissed deep and sweet, they tongues danced a dance they knew by heart at that point, she felt the love flow from him to her and from her to him in that kiss in a Saturday morning in a bathroom in Madrid’s airport. It was amazing how special and private the moment between them felt in a place so public and cold. She was warm again, and it was not because of the central heating in the airport and it was not because of the sex, it was because it was Samuel holding her in his arms and she didn’t feel lonely anymore.

“I love you”, she told him once they lips pulled apart, hovering just over his mouth. He smiled and locked his arms around her waist, holding on to her.

“You ready?” He asked, a smirk on his face. She had no idea what he was gonna do, but smiled down at him, trusting. Then, without pulling out, he flipped them. She almost fell and squealed locking her legs around his waist. She felt the toilet sit pressing hard on her but and brought her hands from around his neck to gab hard at it and redistribute their weight so that she didn’t end up with a bruise in her ass.

From the new angle, his thrusts filled her deeper than they had before and she arched against him, he could feel her erect nipples pressing hard against him through the blouse and the bra. He was so close and so desperate for release he didn’t think he’d be able to hold it back much longer, so he pressed his palms on the wall, so as to not crush Carla and set a punishing rhythm. She gasped below her and with her eyes closed, looked for his mouth. They kissed, hungry and uncoordinated, tongues and teeth clashing against each other. It was messy and it was fast and he came hard inside her, slowing the pace as the aftershocks dwindled.

He fell to his knees, pulling her down with him, not caring that the bathroom was a public place and that no one knew what was on that floor. She sat there, straddling him and caressing him everywhere, getting reacquainted with his body as he grew soft inside her. He melted into her touch, how her hands sneaked under his t-shirt and traced the outline of his stomach, his ribs, his pecs and then his back. Taking care of him, letting him come back down at his own time, at his own pace.

Once her fingers got to his face he turned his head so that he could kiss the palm of her hand.

“Hello.” He said looking at her straight in the eyes, it wasn’t a sexy look, it wasn’t hungry either, it was a satisfied, happy, lovingly teasing look.

“Hi” she answered back, giving him a light peck on the lips.

“We should get going.” He said smiling up at her, letting her go and putting his hands on the floor behind his back, resting his weight there, giving her space to move. She didn’t get the memo, got distracted by the way his shirt rode up his stomach showing her a bit of his navel, new skin she hadn’t seen in a month and a half.

“Carla, move.” She looked up at him and laughed, wide, loud and happy, using his shoulders for support as she got up, wincing a little bit when she felt him sliding out of her bringing fluids out with him that stuck to her tights. Sometimes she wished there was a way to make sex clean, mostly when she was fucking people in random bathrooms.

They cleaned themselves up with toilet paper and got dressed. Samuel laughed at her when she almost slipped putting her jeans back on. They were a death trap.  
“We are never doing that again if I’m not wearing a dress.” She said as she zipped the jeans up. He just raised an eyebrow, knowing she didn’t really mean it, but made no comment.

Once they were half decent they got out of the bathroom and walked hand in hand to Samuel’s car. Once they were sitting down they looked at each other and burst out laughing.

“We nearly got caught!” She said, once they calmed down.

“I’m still not 100% sure that you didn’t want that.” He said, resting his head against the steering wheel and turning the key.

“Me neither”. She said looking at him from the passenger sit. He smiled at her thinking she was a lost case. She read him like a book. “You didn’t seem to mind that much either, though.” She said, smirking. A couple of seconds went by in silence.

“Touché” He said, finally. “What do you wanna do?” He asked, changing the subject.

“Today?” Samuel gave her a nod, eyes on the road.

“Nothing, at least till lunch time. But there’s an art expo that I’d love to checkout at some point this weekend, because next one we have Rebeca’s birthday party and the party Valerio is throwing for the presentation of the new brand in the wineries and I’m leaving on Sunday so I won’t have much time left to do it if I don’t do it tomorrow. You don’t have to come, I know it’s not your thing.”

Samuel smiled, Rebeca’s birthday party and the party at the wineries had been their compromise of sorts. Carla did not want to go to the party at Rebeca’s, she was anxious about seeing her and Guzmán and all the others, they’d met a couple of times that summer, but it had been tense and more awkward than anything else, but Rebe was one of Samuel’s closest friends, so she agreed. Samuel hated the idea of going to the party at the wineries, even if it was a private one, he didn’t like the people and felt uncomfortable in the tailored tuxedo she made him get, but he really wanted to support Carla, and knew the wineries were the most important thing in her life, and she’d put many hours into the new brand, so he agreed to go.

“We can go tomorrow afternoon, if you want, ask Omar and Ander and see if they feel up to it? I know Omar has been nagging Ander for ages to do something like that, maybe if we make a double date of the whole thing, Omar’s artistic curiosity will be satisfied and Ander will, at least, not be left alone in a corner while Omar gets abducted by a painting.”

Carla laughed quietly at his comment. “I think it’s a great idea.” She said.

The rest of the way was quiet, neither of them were great conversationalists, both preferred to listen than talk so they sat in comfortable silence, lost in thought.  
It was the first time Carla set foot in Madrid since she’d left for uni, she hadn’t had anyone to visit. Lu and Valerio, the only people she kept in touch with, either met her in New York, Mexico or Chile or visited her in Paris. She avoided her family as much as possible and had only seen her parents in company events when it had been unavoidable. As Samuel drove and the city appeared before her she realized how much she’d actually missed it. It felt like coming home.

She opened the window, even though it was mid October and the air was on the colder side, she put her hand out of the window and felt the air combing through her fingers. It even smelled different, she’d never thought of Madrid having a particular smell, she thought all cities smelled the same, but it turned out they didn’t, the pollution and the fresh air from La Sierra mixed in to create a smell that was different from anything she’d ever smelled but that she hadn’t really noticed before. It’s weird what coming home does to you, how you realize you’ve missed things you didn’t even know existed.

Samuel looked at her, she looked like in a trance, her blond hair escaping from her perfect ponytail and flying around her face, she looked peaceful, not smiling, not exactly, but her eyes were closed like she was memorizing the moment, setting it to memory, or maybe remembering it.

Once they got to Samuel’s neighbourhood they had to drive around a couple of times to find a parking spot, _"this is why I use a bike"_ Samuel thought, but didn’t say a thing, didn’t want to ruin the mood. They were quiet and happy and Carla seemed pretty much out of it. She didn’t even move to unfasten the seat belt. He grabbed her hand from her lap and squeezed once, gently.

“Carla, we’re home.” She turned around to look ar him and smiled a tiny, honest smile.

“Yes, we are.” she said leaning in and kissing him softly on the lips.

They got out of the car and walked side by side with Samuel carrying the suitcase, hands almost touching, Carla looked at the buildings, the light was different, they passed a churros post and she almost moaned when the smell hit her. It was those little things that were so incredibly Spanish and from _home_ that made her feel like she was rediscovering her life, like she was creating new experiences by reliving her old ones.

“Here we are.” Samuel said, opening the front door of his building.

Carla smiled, and took a step back making sure everything was as she remembered it, then she noticed a ramp instead of a step to get into the building and a chair that went up and down the stairs.

“Is one of your neighbours too old to take the stairs?” She asked, thinking it was a conversational question, but she saw him square his shoulders and knew she must’ve hit a sensitive spot.

“I asked the neighbours to put it in case one of us got hurt, you know how there’s no elevator, and they agreed.” Samuel took a deep breath. “But actually I asked so that Christian is more comfortable when he visits.”

“Oh.” She said, when they’d talked about Christian last time, she’d gotten the impression that they weren’t all that close, that they’d hung out only because of Nano. “You still see him?” She asked, very quiet, out of character. She lacked in many departments, but she usually seemed to be so self-confident, sure of herself, the only moments of doubt she ever let him see where because she was so self-confident, knew herself so well that she wasn't sure he was ready for it, for her and her universe of madness. But this was different, she seemed to be doubting herself, Samuel felt a need to protect her flow through his body and guide his movements.

That was out of character as well, he didn't usually feel like Carla needed protecting, she was the textbook definition of a _strong independent woman_. Feeling this way scared him, the last time he’d felt like that, Carla ended up overdosing because he hadn’t known how or what to ask, hadn’t known what to do. This time was gonna be different.

“Carla, look at me.” She rose her head from where she was hiding it, in Samuel’s neck. “Christian is my friend, he’s a pain in the ass, thinks he’s way smarter than he actually is, has trust issues, no patience and can sometimes be the greatest asshole in the world. I hate that I can’t make him see that you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but he’s a great guy and will warm back up to you eventually.”

“Is he trying to get you to break up with me?” She asked, way more confident, feeling more than herself, Samuel had a way of making her feel loved beyond what words could describe, she trusted him and took a step back, looking at him straight in the eyes.

“Yes.” He found out blunt honesty was what worked best with Carla, she could take it and she’d get rightfully mad if he tried to hide what was going on. “But there’s no chance in hell, heaven or earth that I’m doing that, he’s learning to accept the situation and in the meantime, I kick him out every time he gets way too insolent.”

She laughed, believing him, his eyes told her the truth.“So, you’re defending my honour, now?” She said, getting closer to him, so their noses brushed.

“No,” he answered through a smirk, sensing the shift in the mood and marvelling at how easily they were able to turn any kind of situation into an excuse to have sex. “You don’t need me for that, you’re scary enough to defend your own honour.” She smiled, a hand already down his pants. Fuck, they needed to either get it together or go up the stairs.

“Is that so?” She said, caressing him through his boxers, teasing. He grabbed her neck and pulled her into a desperate kiss as he bucked his hips down on her hand.

“I’m just defending the best decision of my life.” He told her once they broke off the kiss. She smiled sweetly at him and took her hand out of his pants.

“Let’s go, before the neighbours catch us.” She said giving him a sweet peck.

All thoughts of sex dissipated as Carla found herself in the threshold of his apartment. The table at the entrance, the green sofa… Nothing had changed, it was like a time capsule, one of the best nights of her life had been eating macaroni on that sofa, they’d made love on that armchair and fought by that window. She’d fallen in love with him, gotten to know him, between those four walls.

“You okay?” He asked her from inside the apartment, she had the same lost, happy, look she’d had on the car ride.

“Yeah, I’m great.” She smiled genuinely and came in. “You haven’t changed one thing.”

“Well, I’ve taken my mom’s room. It’s bigger.” He told her, rolling the suitcase as he went to said room.

“I’ve never been in your room.” She said as she realized it, peeking her head inside the room Samuel had entered.

“Well, it was way more intimacy than I could handle without knowing where we actually stood.” He said honestly as he put the suitcase on the bed.

“Makes sense.” She looked around as she entered the room, it was small and barely decorated, but somehow it screamed Samuel. She liked it, felt she could fit right in. “It’s nice.”

He looked at her nervously from the corner of the room, not realizing he’d been waiting for her approval. Feeling confident again he opened the closet and a couple of drawers. “I’ve made some room in here, you can keep this, I don’t need the space and this way you won’t have come back and forth from Paris with mammoth sized suitcases”.

Carla smirked, opening the _“mammoth sized suitcase”_ and began sorting out the items, he sat against the headboard and watched her work, knowing better than to offer help. Carla was very particular about her clothes.

“Won’t your conquests mind if they come in and see that you have half your closet full of another woman’s clothes?” She asked, teasingly, curling against his chest once she was done.

“I don’t know.” He said. “I don’t think they’ll ever know. I never bring them in here.” Carla repressed the big, proud, happy smile. It felt nice to be the only one there, made her feel special, reminded her that, at least to Samuel, she was.

“You need to call Omar.” She told him, changing the subject. He groaned and buried his head on her neck.

“I thought you’d forgotten about the whole gallery thing.” He said, pretending to be annoyed.

“Not a chance.” She told him, kissing him sweetly but not too deep. “Come on, call your best friend and his boyfriend, I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Can’t I come?” He asked as she stood up, heading towards the bathroom.

“Maybe once you’ve called them.” She threw her blouse at him and left the room only in her bra.

Samuel laughed quietly and grabbed his phone to make the call. Omar picked up after the second bip.

“That bored, hugh?” Samuel asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I hate the store, come save me.” Omar worked there on Saturdays to give his parents some time off, but hated it with all his heart.

“Always so dramatic.” Teased Samuel. “Okay, hear me out and say yes. Please say yes.”

“To what? I’m not agreeing blindly to anything. And aren’t you supposed to be in a love bubble right now? What are you doing calling me? Go get laid!”

Samuel laughed. God, he loved the guy.

“You’ll like this. Carla wants to go to this art exhibition by X tomorrow, it’s supposed to be pretty cool but I don’t get these things.”

“So you called your Gay Best Friend to give you a hand?” Omar said, not paying much attention to the store. “How incredibly cliche of you, Samuel.”

“I know, but. I was thinking about inviting both you and your boyfriend so this way Carla has someone to watch the exhibition with and Ander and I don’t get bored when you get inevitably lost in there. I know you wanted to go with Ander.”

“I love you, you know?” Omar says on the other side. Samuel can’t help the smile on his lips.

“You too.”

“God! I can’t actually believe we are going, it’s supposed to be amazing, I can’t wait. Thank you. Like honestly. If every time Carla comes we end up doing something like this I will personally tie her on your bedposts.” Samuel laughed.

“I don’t have bedposts.”

“I’ll figure it out.”

“Call Ander, tell me what he thinks and Carla will get the tickets.”

“You’re letting her pay?”

“She has the money, I don’t. Plus, she’s the one who wants to go, if we ever go see something I like, I’ll pay.” Omar scoffs on the other side of the line.

“Makes sense. But you’ve got yourself a sugar mamma.”

“Don’t call her that, please.” It made Samuel feel weird, not the money thing, but the sugar mamma, like he was using her.

“What, sugar mamma?” Omar teased him.

“Okay, I’m hanging up.”

“Okay, have lots of sex.”

Samuel laughed.

“You too,” he hung up and stretched, going to the bathroom. His skin was sticky with sweat from the quickie in the bathroom and really wanted a shower.

They showered together without talking much, taking the time to feel touch and see their bodies that they didn’t take before, in the airport. They didn't have sex in the shower, it might look amazing in movies but it’s not exactly practical in real life. Once they were both wrapped in bath ropes they saw themselves confronted with a huge decision. Clothes, naked or pyjama? It was a huge dilemma. When it was evident that they wouldn't be able to choose an option, Carla changed the subject.

“What would you like for lunch?”

“I don’t know, you choose. What have you missed the most?”

Carla had to stop and think about it, the list is long, potato omelette, calamari sandwich, a good gazpacho (even if it’s October), paella… The list is endless, there’s nothing like Spanish cuisine.

They ended up getting dressed and going to a bar where they made amazing calamari sandwiches, and Carla felt extremely touristy eating one with a beer in a terrace in the city centre, but she missed the city so much she convinced Samuel to skip siesta and walk around El Retiro for the afternoon. Samuel agreed without making her ask more than twice, he saw how much she wanted it, craved it even, to feel like she was actually back. Home. He loved to see her happy so… They even fed the swans and he took a few pictures of Carla smiling on a bridge.

They got back home when the sun was beginning to set and made love on the couch, deep and slow, whispering “I love you” to each other. They laid there afterwards in silence and made french omelettes and a salad for dinner, they ate in front of the TV, watching an old spanish sitcom Carla had never seen, Samuel was appalled and almost made her watch it from the beginning.

* * *

Next day, Carla woke to the smell of churros and hot chocolate. Samuel, wearing only boxers, was stirring a pot filled to the brim with melted chocolate and the churros were on a plate by his side.

“I want to wake up like this forever.” She said, hugging him from behind, she’d thrown a robe over her naked body just before leaving the room, but it didn’t cover much.

“Me too.” He said, twisting his head a little bit to kiss her properly, fighting with her tongue, tasting her mouth, not minding the morning breath. Then he dipped a finger on the chocolate and touched her nose. She yelped both at how hot the chocolate was and the unexpected move. He licked it off her in one swift move.

They ate unable to stop fighting with the churros and the chocolate, their faces ended up brown and sticky by the end of it and they’d eaten more than they should've. They ended up with a sugar high, having sex in the floor, acting like children.

They spent the day studying and working. Carla found out she liked being in the same space as Samuel, not fucking, not talking, not even looking at each other, just being, each working in their own thing, as much as she liked the sex. It was another way of intimacy, one she’d actually had with Polo, but it took them years to get to, with Samuel everything was so easy and, at the same time, so damn hard it scared her sometimes. Last month she'd made the decision to look beyond the fear and hope and dream for once, but that didn't make the fear go away, she was as terrified as she'd been a month ago.

Samuel was sitting on the toilet sit watching Carla get ready, he'd found out he loved it, her concentration face, the way she pouted her lips and opened her mouth big when whatever she was doing had nothing to do with that part of her body, like applying eyeliner, it was a mystery, something he’d never understand, and somehow he liked that thought, the fact that there were things about Carla that he’d just have to learn to accept even without understanding them, there’d always be parts of her left to explore.

Carla looked at Samuel watching her through the mirror, she felt so powerful when Samuel looked at her like that, like she was the only think his mind was able to process, like she was occupying every single part of his brain and he was unable to think about anything else.

“So, where are we meeting them?” She said, only to watch his reaction as he realized she’d asked something that he hadn’t processed.

“What?” Carla smirked, putting away the eyeliner.

“Omar and Ander, where are we meeting them?”

“Oh that. Plaza España. How do you feel about taking the metro to get there?” It was his time to smirk.

“I’ll pay for a taxi.” Samuel laughed, one day he’d get her in a train, but not tonight, tonight was about her.

“Okay, are you ready?”

“Let me get my purse.”

Samuel looked at them through the bathroom mirror. They looked amazing, Carla put him in a white t-shirt and a blazer that he hadn’t worn since he left Las Encinas and she was wearing a green mini dress that hugged her in all the right places, she looked sexy, mature, composed, classy and beautiful.

“We make a great couple.” She said, kissing him on the cheek and stepping out of the bathroom.

“Yes, we do.”

The taxi dropped them off right in the heart of Madrid and Carla paid as she got out.

She was nervous. She and Ander had actually seen each other a couple of times during the summer, but Omar was a whole other thing, he was Samuel’s best friends and she didn’t really _know_ where he stood with her. Like did he judge her because of Marina and Polo? Or because she hurt Samuel a few years ago? Or because she played with him? Ander had told her it was all okay and she hadn’t dared to ask Samuel because he’d tell her the truth right away and she wasn’t ready for that, not yet.

“Everything is gonna be alright” he told her, squeezing her hands two times, reading her thoughts. It didn’t even surprise her by now. He read her like an open book.

Ander and Omar came out of the metro station and she felt Samuel smiling beside her. They were holding hands and Omar looked amazing and bold, with a pink shirt with a flower print open so that it’d show chest hair, black skinny jeans and shiny silver dress shoes. He wore a few silver thin necklaces. Ander was in a deep navy shirt and gray jeans.

Omar’s eyes opened wide as he saw them and Ander smiled sweetly.

“Oh my god, Carla. You look great!” Omar gave her two kisses and then held her at arms length to really take a look at her. “Like, girl, this outfit is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in awhile.”

Carla laughed, relaxing, things seemed to go well. “You look great too.”

Omar hugged her to his side and didn’t let her go.

“Hi, Ander.” She said from under his boyfriend’s armpit.

“Omar, let Carla go.”

“I don’t want to, she even smells nice.”

They all laughed and Omar let her go winking at her.

“Aren’t you going to tell me I look good?” Samuel asked, hugging his best friend.

“You look basic.” Was all he answered and they all laughed.

“Don’t worry, Samu, Omar was close to pulling a gun on when I told him I’d wear a polo shirt.”

They walked to the art gallery where the exhibition was taking place while they got up to date with each other, the boys promised to invite Carla to their new apartment for lunch at some point that week, telling her over and over how small it actually was. That wasn’t a lie, it was the smallest place Samuel had ever seen, but the guys were happy with it, and that was enough.

Omar basically kidnapped Carla and began telling her about the dog he was pressuring Ander to adopt. She listened and smiled, actually happy fot Omar’s acceptance of her and liking how easily they seemed to get along. She immediately understood why Samuel liked him so much, he was easy going and could read you easily, he understood what you wanted and gave it to you, managing the whole weight of the conversation easily sensing that she didn’t feel too comfortable with talking yet because she didn’t really know what to say so she just listened. Actually, she was surprised that the two of them actually talked, she didn't know who would win in a mind reading competition.

Ander groaned, they were walking a few steps behind Carla and Omar.

“He’s telling her about the stupid dog again.”

Samuel laughed, he’d heard them have this conversation a thousand times, Omar wanted a dog so badly, never having had one, but Ander didn’t want the responsibility.

“You are gonna cave in at the end.” Samuel told him. “Just like with the curtains and the sofa.”

Ander groaned again. “I know. I’m so close to saying yes, it's ridiculous, I just don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he always gets what he wants.”

“He gets what he wants because you don’t mind giving it to him.”

“I know. But a dog means that we’ll have to pay extra if we want to go on a romantic weekend somewhere.”

“You can always leave it with me.”

“That’s if you are not in Paris with Carla fucking each other’s brains out.” Ander said giving him a soft push. Samuel smirked. He liked talking to Ander, he was a decent guy and the conversation flowed easily between them, he didn’t have to force himself to talk, they never talked about anything too deep if Omar wasn’t with them but it was nice knowing that they could just hang.

Carla showed the tickets for the four of them at the entrance and felt the guy at the gate check her out, she didn’t mind, had learned long ago that getting mad because guys looked at her in an R rated way was a waste of time, did she wish people saw her as something other than a sex machine? Sure. Was she gonna get in a fight when they didn’t? No. That was useless. She loved that Samuel wasn’t possessive, that he didn’t get mad or blame her for it, she couldn’t do anything about the way she looked or the way men looked at her, plus, she felt sexy and empowered with the way she dressed and wasn’t about to change it because some men couldn’t control their thoughts. He got it.

She grabbed his hand and he looked down surprised, Carla wasn’t too much into public displays of affection that did not involve having sex in the bathroom of some random establishment, not with him, he knew she hadn’t minded it with other guys, he’d been there, but somehow with him it was different.

“I wanna show you this piece and then you’re free to hang in the bar with Ander.”

“You underestimate me if you think I can only do one.”

They spent 40 minutes walking around, Carla showed him her favourite pieces and explained them to him and, slowly but surely, it all began to make sense to him, to seem interesting. He realized that it probably had more to do with the fact that it was Carla explaining those things to him than he actually liking them, but seeing Carla explain it, the way her eyes shone bright but her tone was cold and precise because she knew all the facts and wanted him to get why it mattered, the fact that she was taking her time explaining all those things to him made him feel lucky and loved.

After 40 minutes, though, he’d had enough and kissed her in the temple, she closed her eyes and let him go.

Two seconds after he’d sat on one stool in the bar, Ander appeared and he sat down. They began a nice conversation about classes and extracurriculars and waited patiently for their partners to squeeze the exhibition till its last drop, till there was nothing else to see or to talk about.

Carla found Omar standing face to face with a painting, it was small, nothing that would call her attention, a face painted in two different colours, it was beautiful, there was no denying it, but it didn’t call to her like it seemed to call Omar.

“What do you like about it?” She asked standing by his side.

“He’s two men at once.” She didn’t understand him, but didn’t press for an explanation. They stood side by side and watched. Then they moved, they talked about their favourite pieces in the exhibition and other things they’d seen, after that conversation Carla was dying to get him to Paris and show him what that city had to offer, it wasn’t worse or better than Madrid, just different, another vibe. She knew Omar would die in the Louvre and she hadn’t had anyone to go exploring museums with her in ages, she knew Samuel would do it if she asked, but she wanted someone who got it, who understood why she went crazy about it.

“Omar, can I ask you something?” She said after they’d stopped and sat on one of the little benches, looking at another painting that Omar seemed to really enjoy.

“Shoot.” He didn’t look at her, transfixed by the painting.

“Are you really okay with me and Samuel?” She was bold, it didn’t surprise him, Ander had always described as such.

“It’s not my place to judge.” He said, being honest.

“I want you to. What do you think?”

“Well… I think that what you’re both doing is weird and dangerous and could end up hurting either one or both of you, but I see the way you look at each other, the way he smiles when he’s around you or just seen you, you know how hard it actually is to make that guy smile? But you just seem to get each other, and that’s so rare and precious I can’t oppose it. You make him happy and I think that what you two have is the healthiest relationship he’s ever been in, it’s based in honesty and love and you talk to each other. So, if you’re looking for my blessing, you have it. Even if hearts get broken because of it.”

He looked at her and took her hand and kissed her knuckles. She smiled. “I think you’re amazing for Ander, too. By the way.” She said. He actually blushed a little.

“I know.” He said though, cocky. Carla leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

“Okay, maybe it’s time we go save our boyfriends from this place.” Omar said, looking at their general direction.

“Let’s go.”

They got out of the place at 9pm and went to look for somewhere to eat, Carla let the guys choose because she actually didn’t know of a place to eat in Madrid that you didn’t need to call in advance or pay for with a kidney, something she thought wouldn’t sit well with them.

“Oh, my god. Kebab.” Ander seemed transfixed by the colourful lights of the kebab joint in front of them.

“Aren’t we overdressed to eat somewhere like this?” Carla asked, feeling slightly self conscious.

“Have you ever been in a place like this one?” Asked Omar, amused.

“No, not really.” Samuel put an arm around her waist.

“There’s no dress code for this. I’ve been to one of this in a swimming suit, in the school uniform, in sportswear, in jeans, in a tuxedo…” His boyfriend said.

“They don’t care about what you wear inside there, no one does.” Finished Ander, giving her a reassuring smile.

Carla had trouble wrapping her mind around that, the fact that someone could just not care, everywhere she went people not only cared about what you wore but judged you for it, they kept track of how many times you’d worn a dress, what brand it was…

“Okay, let’s do this.”

It turned out Carla really liked kebabs, and really liked the yogourt sauce, but she didn't really know how to eat it yet, so it kept sliding down her chin and Samuel kept catching it with either a napkin or his fingers. He found it sexy as fuck how she tried to eat like a lady when the food she was actually eating didn't allow it and so she ended up making a bigger mess than it would have been if she’d just eaten it the regular way.

They decided to walk home, they lived pretty close to each other, the walk wasn't too long and the night wasn't too cold yet.

Carla linked her arms with Ander's and they let their steps fall behind, giving the two best friends some privacy to talk and tease each other.

“So, how are you doing?” She asked.

“Well, if you mean the cancer, the last tests came out clean.” He smiled down on her and she gave him a little squeeze.

“I’m glad. How about Omar?”

“Has he told you we’re getting a dog?” He asked, knowing that she knew.

“So you’re caving?”

“I’ll make him suffer for a couple more weeks before I tell him, though.”

They walked in peaceful silence for a while.

“I’m glad you’ve found him again, you know? I’ve never seen you this happy, not even with Polo.” She smiled.

“Same thing goes to you.”

After that they just walked, Ander let her lean on him so that she was more comfortable walking around in her high heels.

“Dude I cannot believe you just said that.” Samuel scolded Omar pushing him out of the sidewalk, the other boy laughed freely.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know how I messed it up so bad, really.” They were talking about Sci-Fi and discussing movies, Omar had suddenly said that Dune came after Star Wars and Samuel was ready to break up their friendship over it.

“I like your girlfriend, by the way.” Omar said. Samuel just looked at him, letting him elaborate. “I mean, I already liked that she made you happy, but now I like her. She’s nice and doesn’t mind spending three hours at an art exhibition.”

Samuel laughed “I like her too.”

“Are you sure you don’t looooove her?”

“Not if you say it like that.”

“Say it how? Loooooooove? What’s wrong with loooooooove?”

Samuel groaned and pushed him out of the sidewalk again.

“I wish there were cars so that you could get ran over and shut up.” Omar simply laughed at him.

“But how would you live without me, then?” He asked, pretending to be offended.

“I’d figure it out.” Now it was Omar’s turn to push Samuel.

“They are just like kids, aren’t they?” Carla asked as she watched Omar and Samu’s game of push and pull. She turned her head around, waiting for Ander’s answer, but she realized that he wasn’t listening to her, he was looking at Omar with so much love in his eyes she had to look away, feeling intrusive. She found herself wishing to be this happy and this in love with Samuel after three years together.

Samuel and Carla dropped the other couple on their doorstep and saw them kissing each other passionately on the stairs, probably thinking they weren’t being watched.

“It’s good to know that we aren’t the only ones who fuck like rabbits.” Said Samuel as they turned around and began to walk home.

“Yeah, I was starting to think we had some kind of sex-addiction.” Carla answered and Samuel scoffed.

“Carla, you just made a joke.”

“Are you gonna point it out every time?”

“Probably.”

Once they got to the traffic light Carla lied against it to take her feet off the ground, cursing her decision to wear high heels.

“Your feet hurt?”

“I hate being a woman, sometimes.”

Samuel turned around and looked at her, “Hop on.”

“Seriously? I’m not weightless and I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I go to the gym, I think I’ll manage to walk with you on my back for ten minutes.”

Carla didn’t let him repeat it again, so that he wouldn’t change his mind, and hoped on, she felt her dress ride up her tights, exposing more skin and shivered against Samuel. God, it felt so nice, and not only because her feet were no longer hurting, being close to Samu always felt nice. He took off her shoes and held them one on each hand and she almost moaned feeling her feet freed from their restraints and in the cold autumn air.

“I love you.” She told him against his cheek.

“I love you too.” He said before he kissed her sweetly.

“Thank you.”

“For the kiss? If it’s for the kiss it’s my pleasure, literally, if it’s because of the fact that I love you, I can’t really help that.” Carla made a very unladylike sound on his back, trying to hold a laugh.

“What has Omar given you? Has he put something in your water?” She asked, he seemed high, and happy, she liked him like that, maybe not all the time, but playful Samuel was nice from time to time, it was freeing.

“Nop. He stopped dealing a few years ago.”

“Omar dealt?”

“How do you think he met Ander?”

Carla was in shock, actually laughing like only Samuel could make her laugh. “Oh, my god!”

“Hold on tight, little marchioness, we’re running home.”

 _I need to keep this one._ She thought as he ran through Madrid, laughing with her in his back. They both remembered a time when they didn’t laugh around each other, when they were closed off and guarded, when their feelings confused them and there were bigger things to focus on, but in moments like this one it felt like they belonged to someone else, other people, not two 20 year olds running freely through Madrid, laughing to their heart's content.

* * *

His alarm went off at 6:30 like every Monday morning, but unlike any other usual Monday morning, Carla’s big blue eyes were staring at him from the other side of the bed, they fell asleep the night before with him inside her, holding her close to him, they woke up the same way. He could feel himself hardening inside her and she clenched her muscles teasingly to increase the sensation.

“I love your face this early in the morning”. She told him, he groaned, wanting to hide his face on the pillow but not wanting to pull away. She rolled over so that she was straddling him and moved slightly, slowly getting him harder and harder. He sat up so that they were face to face and put a strand of her blond hair behind her ear, she had sex hair, to him, that was her best look. She leaned in to kiss him, they kissed slowly and lovingly, passionately and deeply at the same time. Moving together in a slow, well practiced dance. Showing each other their love in every whisper, every caress, every kiss, Carla even forgot to be quiet and the most beautiful little moans escaped her lips every time he hit that place inside her.

“I love you, you know?” Said Samuel, as he felt his orgasm building. “Please, tell me you know. I need to know.” Carla looked deep in his beautiful brown eyes and kissed the tip of his nose, his cheeks, his chin, his forehead and, finally, his lips, with so much love and adoration Samuel felt silly for asking.

“I do know. You show me every day. I love you too, you know?” Samuel caressed her body, his hands went up from her hips up to her breasts, cupping them and flicking her nipples once, and then up her neck till they framed her head.

“I know.” They came quietly around each other, looking deeply in their eyes.

“I could get used to this.” She said, getting up and stretching and Samuel was mesmerized seeing the curve of her ass and how her breasts stretched with her arms.

“You’re beautiful.”

“And you’re gonna be late to work if you don’t leave now.”

“Fuck!”

They fell into some kind of routine over the next few days, they’d wake up, have sex, go to work or to the gym, meet back up for lunch, usually at Samuel’s university, where he introduced her to his friends, and then he’d go to class and she’d either go with him and study or go to the library at the uni and study. Then they walked aimlessly through the city and ended up having dinner at some place or other. They’d go back home and pretend to watch something on TV only to end up having more sex and then they went to sleep.

They knew that if they were actually living together they wouldn’t spend most of the day attached to the hip, that they’d lead separate lives and catch up during dinner, but they didn't live together, they had the rest of the month to be apart, they enjoyed their week together, just like that, together.

Then Friday came along, and with Friday Rebeca’s birthday party. And just like that, Carla’s armour was back up, not a crack, the sweet, funny girl he got to see during the week became cold and reserved. Samuel gave her her space as she put on some makeup, he was sitting in his observer spot, on the toilet, watching her work. He loved Carla with all his heart and understood that her cold careless façade was just that, a façade, so he didn’t get mad, didn’t get offended, knew it wasn’t about him and let her get ready to meet his ex girlfriend and a bunch of people who might or might not still resent her. She needed to feel safe and that was the way she did it.

“You look stunning.” He said, though, because it was true. She was wearing a beautiful long sleeved silver dress that fell to her knees hugging her in all the right places, his favourite part was the neckline on the back of the dress that fell almost to the beginning of her but. He ran his hand through all that exposed skin and she shuddered.

“Are you ready?” He asked looking at her in the eyes through the bathroom mirror.

“Yes.” There wasn’t an ounce of doubt in her expression or her eyes. She was ready. So they left.

Carla shuddered when they got to Rebeca’s place, in her mind it wasn’t even Guzman’s, it was Marina’s. God, how things had changed in the span of three years, she could clearly remember sneaking in one of those bedrooms to have sex with Cristian as Polo watched. She was so innocent, thinking it was about her and Polo instead of it being what it actually was, Polo exploring his sexuality in a very cowardly way. She hadn’t even looked in Samuel’s direction, probably never would have, people like him had either been a nuisance or something for her to play with when she got bored. She was glad for all the changes, except for Marina’s death, but if she hadn’t died, she’d still be with Polo unfulfilled, angry and repressed, following her dad’s orders. She felt horrible when she got to the conclusion, as they stepped inside the mansion, that Marina’s death had been a good thing for her. She knew it was something she could never tell Samuel and felt sick to her stomach. What a good way to start the night.

“You okay?” Samuel asked her again.

“Stop checking in on me. If I’m not okay I’ll tell you.” She didn’t really know why she sounded so mean, she didn’t intend to, she just wanted to get it over with and Samuel asking her if she was okay just kept reminding her that she was in hostile territory.

“You promise me?” Samuel was worried, she was so tense and far away. He knew this was difficult, he just wanted to be there for her, as much as she let him, which, he was beginning to suspect, it wasn’t much. He saw her take a deep breath and he wasn’t sure if it was to calm her nerves or to keep from ignoring him and just getting in the party.

“I promise you.” She said, not quite in the tone she usually used for him but not as cold as she’d been before. “Go look for the birthday girl. I know you want to.” She turned around and left, looking for Ander and Omar. She grabbed a glass of something, she didn’t know exactly what it was but she gulped it down almost in one go, she needed to calm her nerves.

She went outside and heard someone call her name, she turned around and saw Cayetana, she’d cut her hair even shorter, Carla found out it suited her. She was wearing a simple blue dress that somehow looked spectacular on her, even if it was the simplest piece of clothing she’d ever seen.

“Caye.” She said smiling genuinely, she found herself drawn to the girl, maybe because they’d both dated the same guy and he’d broken both of their hearts, but Cayetana was the least intimidating person she had to talk to at that party, well, except for Omar and Ander, she really was grateful to Samuel for organizing the double date last weekend, without it, she’d feel completely left out at the party. She regretted at once how she’d treated Samuel before.

“I’m so happy you’re here.” Caye told her, and Carla could read the honesty in the other girl’s eyes. “I was beginning to think Samu was lying about the two of you being together.” Carla smiled.

“No, he wasn’t.”

“I can see” Caye looked at her feet. “I’m happy for you Carla, you deserve it.” Carla realized how much she’d changed, and all that had been needed was a few people by her side telling her she was worth it, Cayetana had become sweet and caring and stopped doing what she thought would help her fit in. Her choice of dress alone proved that. Carla wished her life could be that simple.

“Thank you. What are you doing now?” She asked curious, she had no idea what Cayetana was doing with her life.

“I’m studying fashion, and working. I like it, though.”

“Oh, that’s right, Samuel told me you two work together.”

“Yeah, I got him the job.” She said with a wink and Carla laughed. “How about you?”

“Marketing in Paris.” She said, and then debated whether or not to say the next thing, but the alcohol was working its magic. “I’m also launching a new brand of wine for the wineries with Valerio.” She saw her deep intake of breath, but other than that, she didn’t let it show how nice it felt to have some news of Valerio, that he was okay, even if they were only crumbs.

“You still like them, don’t you?”

Cayetana smiled sadly at her and grabbed her hand squeezing once. “Don’t tell him”. She said, then she saw something behind Carla. “Excuse me, I need to get to Guzmán before he jumps into the pool, it’s way too cold for that and too soon for him to be this drunk. It was nice to see you, Carla. Have fun.”

“You too.” She said smiling sweetly, suddenly she felt better, it hadn’t been so bad seeing Cayetana again, had it? She decided to pace herself with the drinks for the rest of the night and eat something. She found Omar making himself a cocktail. Her night was saved and her drink widely improved.

Samuel found her in the basement, away from the party.

“Rebe, come on.” He told her, trying to persuade her. “Come on up, all of this is for you, you gotta be there.”

“It’s also paid by money made from selling drugs and beating people up, Samu.”

“Can’t you forget about that? Just for tonight? It’s your birthday.” Rebe looked at him. God, those big brown eyes were his weakness, he knew her, probably more than either one of them felt comfortable admitting, and, although his feelings for the girl were purely platonic, he loved her to death and seeing her in pain, hurt, even more so knowing that she wanted to be held until she fell asleep protected in his arms. Rebe and Carla were two sides of the same coin, he realized.

“Carla is here, you said you wanted to talk to her.”

“The aristocracy is your kink, Samuel, not mine, you’re gonna have to look for a threesome elsewhere.” She said with a straight face.

“Pity”. Then they both burst laughing. “Come on, let’s go.” He told her giving her a hand, she made an exasperated sound but took it.

Once they got upstairs Cayetana came over kissing him and grabbing her by the arm. “Thank you for getting her here, I knew you could do it. By the way, I saw Carla a few minutes ago, she looks beautiful.”

Samuel laughed, a drunk Cayetana was a sight to behold. Usually the mom of the group was the sober person, but in their group it usually was Cayetana, the drunker she got the more like a mom she behaved, it was fun.

“Come on, Caye, let’s go dance.” Rebeca pulled her away from him and into the dining room serving as a dance floor.

“Happy birthday!” He shouted as she left.

“Thank you!”

He wanted to find Carla but found Ander struggling to hold Guzmán up and went to help him.

“What happened?” He asked.

“A joint and mixed vodka, gin and rum, at least, I don't think he knows. He’s gonna wanna die tomorrow.” Said Ander chuckling. “Can you help me get him to his old room? So that at least he wakes up somewhere he knows?”

“Sure”. Then he looked at Guzmán as he put his arm around his shoulders. “You are not 15 Guzmán.”

“I knowwww” he answered slurring his words. “Iiii’m 20.” He then stopped and looked at Samuel straight in the eyes. “Samuuuuuuuuuuuu! It’s yooooouuuuu I have missed youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.”

Samuel laughed. “We saw each other last week.”

“OOOO that’s trueee.”

Ander and Samuel looked at each other from above Guzmán’s head and rolled their eyes at the same time. Then they began to make their way up the stairs, they were the only ones allowed there so they knew the bedroom would be empty.

“This is not the way of the partyyyyyy” He complained as he saw where they were taking him. Ander took a deep breath taking hold of his patience.

“No, Guzmán you’re going to sleep now.”

“Whyyyy??? I wanaaaa daaanceee.”

“What did he say?” Asked Ander.

“I think he wants to dance.”

Ander chuckled. “That’d be a first.” Then he turned to his best friend. “No, Guzmán you want to sleep, remember?”

“Ooooh. That’sss riiiiight because everything spins spins spins.”

They walked him the the room with him repeating spin spin spin over and over again. Once they got him to the bed and took his shoes off, he held tight to Samuel’s arm. “I had sex with Nadia in the pool here.” He said, surprisingly coherent.

“Yeah.” Samuel said brushing a strand of hair off his forehead, “this house is full of weird memories for me too.”

“It’s confusing.”

“Yes, it is. Now go to bed.”

He fell asleep almost on command.

“I’m so telling Omar his little sister had sex in this swimming pool.” Said Samuel smirking.

“Don’t you dare, Samu DON’T YOU DARE TRAUMATIZE MY BOYFRIEND!”

Samuel turned around.

“I guess you’re gonna have to find him before I do, then.” They both raced down the stairs.

“Hi, barbie” Carla braced herself for what was to come once she heard the nickname. “Don’t worry, I won’t murder you”, said Rebeca offering her a drink.

“What’s in it?”

“Vodka lime.”

Carla took it. “Thank you.”

“Okay, I’m gonna tell you a few things and you’re gonna listen,” Carla raised an eyebrow at Rebeca’s words. “You and I, I don’t think we’ll ever be friends, there’s no need for it. That’s okay. But you make Samu happy and now you’re part of the asshole’s life, so I guess you’re part of mine too. Let’s act like civilized human beings.”

“Okay.”

“I’m not done. If you intentionally hurt Samu, I’ll personally find you and kill you. Are we understood?”

Carla had to suppress a smile. “Understood.”

“Good. I’m gonna go find Caye before she does something she’ll regret tomorrow.”

“Happy birthday.”

“Okay.”

Carla was left alone there for a couple seconds until she felt a set of arms she knew by heart wrapping around her. She held him there, strong around her, with him like that she felt powerful.

“I’m sorry about before.”

“It’s fine, I get it, it was hard coming here.” He kissed the side of her neck and she pressed harder against his front, grinding shamelessly to the bit of the music.

“Thanks for coming, though.” He said against her skin.

“I still haven’t, though.” She said turning around.

“Ha! A joke!”

“Stop it!”

“I’ll make you come at home, as many times as you want.” He said liking the shell of her ear.

It ended up being once, and barely. They stumbled home at 7am tired and drunk, but at least they’d had churros on the way back home so they had some food in their systems. And had sex on the bed, it was messy their limbs felt like they weighed a tone and everything was funny as hell, but they were extremely horny so they somehow managed.

* * *

“I’m never drinking again.” Said Carla from her current position hugging the toilet sit. Samu was rubbing her back, she was a mess at the moment, it was passed noon and they’d just woken up, he’d thrown up back at the party, so most of the alcohol left then and his hangover was manageable, Carla, on the other hand, hadn’t been so lucky.

Another wave of nausea overtook her and she whined pressing her head on the cool marble floor. Then she stood up to a sitting position and pucked her guts out, again, it was honestly surprising there was still something inside her. The movement made her dizzy and she held on hard to Samuel’s arm till it passed.

“Don’t look at me, I look horrible.” She told Samu, she was extremely mad that she was the only one living through the aftermath of the party, he’d been just as drunk as her, it was so fucking unfair, and he looked hot in the morning light and she was in one of his t-shirts and her hair was a mess and she was pretty sure there was puke in her face.

Samuel chuckled, she didn’t look good, but she looked funny and adorable and she was way too pretty to ever look horrible. “You don’t look horrible, but I’ll turn my head around if you want me to.”

“Please,” she told him from the floor, she was lying in a fetal position and he looked away.

“Do you want me to keep rubbing your back?”

 _“Please”_ she actually whined, Samuel was finding all of this extremely amusing, but began running a hand through her back, her hair, her neck, at some point he stood up and brought back a glass of water, a pack of cookies, two ibuprofen and a wet cloth.

Carla began feeling human again at around 5pm, Samuel had moved them to the sofa by then and was buried deep in the Spanish Constitution. He was gonna make an amazing lawyer someday. She was scrolling through instagram, doing anything else made her wanna die.

Her phone rang then and she looked at the screen. _Dad_. She considered hanging up, but didn’t have the stomach to deal with hanging calls and ignoring texts messages for weeks, so she picked it up.

“Yeah?” She tried to make her voice sound as normal as possible.

“I haven’t received the invitation for today's event.”

“That’s ‘cause you are not invited.” She sighed, she really should’ve hung up when she had the chance.

“I still have power in this company.”

“No you don’t. I’m it’s head now, you just do what I let you do.”

“My name still holds power.” That was right, she’d had to deal with sexist, old, white men who kept asking when they could speak to her father all week long, but she wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of telling him that.

“I have your name, father, and my mothers, you know the one the company’s named after? And the support of the shareholders.”

“Do you want me to make a few calls?”

“Do you want me to call Yeray?”

“Hiding behind your boyfriend’s legs, are we?”

Carla groaned frustrated.

“If it means so much to you, fine, come. I’ll tell Valerio to make sure your name is on the list.” She hung up and buried her head in the sofa cushions.

“What happened?” Asked Samuel from his place on the table.

“My father is coming tonight.” She said not quite turning around.

“Are you okay with that?” He asked.

“I should've hung up.”

Carla seemed pretty much out of it the rest of the afternoon, she’d left the party planning to Valerio so that she’d have more time with Samuel, so all she had to do was show up for a while and make a speech. They were introducing the new brand to the most important shareholders and the press and introducing Valerio and Carla’s new ideas for the company, mainly tapping into two markets that had been overlooked by the company, housewives and teenagers, it wasn’t all about wine that cost a month worth of salary for a regular person, she wanted to keep doing that, but it wasn’t enough, they needed to expand, something her father was too snobbish to do.

But Carla was worried about the reaction, the new brand was almost ready and after that one was up and going, they were gonna focus on the teens, she knew she had Yeray on her side pretty much no matter what she did and that was like owning the whole company, but there were still important people to impress and she’d hated the meetings with supermarket chains she’d had that week, they had wanted a middle aged man, not a girl who could barely call herself legal. Her father had effectively put fear in her, again. It was unfair how easily he seemed to be able to do that.

“Carla, you know it’s not just gonna be your father there, right? I’ll be there too, and so will Valerio, I think we can manage to throw a few punches here and there if necessary.” Samuel was serious, even if the wording was fun and lighthearted, Carla knew he’d do that if someone threatened her and actually put her in danger, he’d punched Valerio for her, and even his own brother. It was something she needed to avoid from happening.

“So, is there gonna be any food at the event?” He asked, going to the kitchen and opening the fridge.

“Not enough to count as a dinner.” She answered, curled in the sofa with her computer, reading notes a friend had sent her, she needed to get up to date with all of her classes before Monday.

“I’m making macaroni, then.” He knew it had somehow become their comfort food, and god knew they both needed some comfort at the moment.

Carla smiled from the sofa, grateful that she had a boyfriend who was apparently a mind reader, and continued to study. It was 7pm, definitely not dinner time in Spain, but the event began at 10 and they still needed to get ready, so eating at 9 was impossible. Carla thought it was funny, she’d lived with this timetable of late lunches and even later dinners all her life, but now that she’d been living in Paris for a while, she found out how hard it was to get used to it, she kept getting hungry at weird times.

After half an hour Samuel set a plate in front of her and she closed her computer.

“I feel like a tourist” Samuel said sitting down, reading her thoughts, again.

“I kind of like that we have this weird timetable, though, this way in the middle of summer where there are more tourists than locals, we can avoid them during meals at restaurants without even trying.”

“I’d never thought about it this way.”

They got to the party in a limousine, Samuel’s new tuxedo felt uncomfortable, but he had to admit he looked great in it, and he’d get used to this kind of things eventually. Carla was holding his hand in her lap, tracing small, soothing patterns on his skin, which was exactly what he needed to calm down, he was going to dive head first into a swimming pool filled with sharks, literally. At least there was no red carpet, they would do that on the official launching of the brand, the thought made Samuel shiver.

“You okay?” She asked, _oh how the tables have turned_ , he thought. He raised both of their hands to his lips and kissed he inside of her palm.

“I’ll be fine.”

"I’m here, if you need anything, at any point, come get me.” She framed his face with her hands and kissed him slowly and lovingly, reassuringly. Samuel felt himself relaxing, knowing that Carla would be there helped, he wanted to do this, to share these very important career moments with her, even if they made him uncomfortable, he wanted to do it.

“Thank you” He said, his hands were grabbing her wrists, just holding them in place around his face, he didn’t actually dare to touch her anywhere else, he didn’t wanna ruin her makeup or her dress or her hair… She had outdone herself. “You look beautiful.” He said, honestly.

She smiled. “YOU look amazing. I don’t know how I’m gonna keep my hands off of you.”

“I’ll let you undress me once we get home.” He said, winking. She smiled and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” He held his hand out for Carla to take and they entered the party holding hands.

Carla spotted Valerio in the middle of the room, talking to some higher ups in the company, she decided to go save him, those guys were bitter about following orders from two 20 year olds and the conversation was surely not pleasant, although she knew Valerio was pretty capable to handle it all himself.  
“Come on,” she said to Samu. “Let’s go say hi to Valerio.”

Samuel felt uncomfortable around Valerio, they’d parted in somehow amicable terms, but that didn’t mean they liked each other or that he’d forgiven him for getting Carla into drugs, even if she had. It turned out he had more problems being okay with people who hurt her than with people who hurt him.

“Carla, my love, so good of you to come.” He said giving her two kisses.

“This is my party, Valerio, of course I came.” She said, more to remind the two old men sitting with Valerio than to remind Valerio himself, who, of course, hadn’t forgotten. Samuel smiled proudly at her. “You’ve really outdone yourself.”

“Thank you, but I think it was more the planner's merit than mine, I just told her what I wanted and she made it happen.”

They stayed there for a half an hour or so, Samuel was aware of the looks the other two men gave him once they realized that he was Carla’s boyfriend, that it was serious and that his last name did not appear in the high society lists at all, it got even worse when he told them that he was studying in Madrid in a public university and working to pay for it. It seemed a struggle for them to wrap their heads around the fact that Carla was dating someone from lower middle class instead of one of their sons. Samuel liked it though, he needed to get used to it, it was bound to happen every time they went to one of these events.

Carla then walked around the room, introducing him to people whose names and faces he forgot, even though he tried to remember them, it was no use. He knew he’d see them again if he kept on dating Carla, but…

At 11, Valerio grabbed a microphone and asked Carla to join him on stage and say a few words. Carla talked about the wineries, how important they were to her and her family, how lucky and honoured she’d felt when her father stepped down on her 18th birthday so that she could take over, as a birthday present (that was the story they fed to everyone, they needed the reputation of the family to stay strong), how she had so many dreams for the wineries, she thanked a bunch of people for helping her and guiding her and respecting her decisions (she made sure to stress the fact that, though, yes, she’d had help from various people, the ultimate choice had always been her), she thanked Valerio more than anyone else for going along with her in this journey, and then she presented the vision she had for the wineries and the two new brands she intended to establish, how one was already close to being ready to sell and the other one would be soon, she talked numbers and how benefits were meant to increase in the next couple of years, doubling themselves with little extra cost for the company.

Samuel was mesmerized by Carla, the way she spoke, how sure she seemed to be about everything, how well planned everything was, he knew the event tonight was a power play, she wanted everyone to understand that SHE was the one running things now, and that things would improve under her direction now, that her ideas were new, fresh, better than her dad’s and that she would make a lot of money, money that would go straight to the pockets of most of the people sitting there, listening to her. She was smart, clever, sure of herself and unstoppable. He found himself falling more in love with her, his powerful girlfriend.

Carla stepped down and handed the microphone to Valerio. She took a deep breath backstage, where no one could see her. She thought it had worked great, actually. She thought the night was being a success, she gathered herself to go to Samuel, she didn’t wanna leave him surrounded by a bunch of people he didn’t know and didn’t like for too long.

“Daughter.” And there went the night. It had all been going so well! She straightened her back and looked at her father, she hadn’t seen him since before summer.

“Dad, what do you want?”

“I want to avoid you ruining the company, burning it to the ground.”

“It’s not going to happen, all of my advisors tell me it’s a great idea.”

“You pay them to tell you you’re right.”

“No, I pay them to tell me the truth, like how you were driving the company straight into bankruptcy and how to avoid doing the same.”

“Whatever you say, Carla.”

“Look, dad, I can’t do this right now, Samuel is waiting for me.”

“Yeah, I saw you brought the boy.”

“Look, dad, I told you, you have no say on who I date anymore, and I’m dating Samuel.”

“It’ll ruin the winery’s reputation and your mother’s title as well if it gets to the press.”

“Look, dad, the king married a journalist, I can date a lawyer.”

“We’ll see…”

“You have no power over me now, so please stop getting involved in my private life and the decisions I make about the company if you don’t want to lose your job.”

“I’m just worried for you, Carla.”

“Whatever you say, I’m gonna go look for Samuel.”

Carla went to the bathroom first, she needed to compose herself, she didn’t want Samuel getting involved in this, this was between her and her dad. So she took a couple deep breaths and reminded herself that, actually, the night had been a success and that her father’s response only attested to that. She was fine and she wanted to get Samuel out of there as soon as possible.

“Hi, love.” She said grabbing his hand, she didn’t dare doing anything more than that there, in front of all those people.

“Carla”, he had the biggest smile plastered in his face, “god, you were incredible.”

“Thank you”, she said, not bothering to hide the big smile on her face, she loved that Samuel had liked it.

“Where were you? I was looking for you.”

“Oh! I had to go to the bathroom”, Samuel had a feeling it was not the full story, but let it slide, she looked happy and proud, as happy and proud as she allowed herself to look amongst all those people, at least. “Come on, let’s get out of here, my job is done.”

“Are you sure? Don’t you have to mingle and explain?”

“That’s why I have Valerio in the payroll, come on, you promised me you’d let me undress you.”

“How could I say no to this?”

“You can’t.”

“I can’t”.

They didn’t make it home, they had sex on the backseat of the limousine in the parking lot, it was hurried and fast and deep, driven by the adrenaline brought on by Carla’s success.

Once they got home, Samuel popped open a bottle of cava that he’d bought to celebrate the occasion, he let Carla undress him, unwrapping him like a birthday present, torturously slow, he felt her eyes roaming his body, her lips kissing every new inch of skin she exposed. He was hard as a rock by the time she’d taken off his shirt. Once he was completely naked he repaid the favour.

They drank the cava as they made sweet deep love on the couch, Carla fell asleep in his arms, curling against him. He found himself pressing her hard against his chest. He didn’t think he’d handle the next month without her particularly well, not after having established a routine, gotten used to her studying in the sofa, complaining about work over a beer at some bar, laughing at Omar for some reason or other. He knew next month would be hard.

Carla left the next day after lunch, Samuel drove her to the airport and she actually kissed him right then and there and then hugged him close to her body for what felt like an eternity and like a second at the same time, inhaling his smell, committing it to memory, she’d left all her clothes in his apartment, it felt nice to know that he had a part of her in his closet, that she had a place to come back to in Madrid, whenever she wanted, because she wouldn’t need to pack. Once she got on the plane she took a set of keys from her handbag, it was a set of the keys to his apartment, Samu had given them to her that morning, claiming it was theirs. They had the ugliest key chain she’d ever seen, she wouldn’t change it for the world.

She missed him already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a few questions, the first one, what did you think? Like I'm honestly happy about how this turned out, but I would love to hear your thoughts.  
> The second one, how do I actually tag this? Like I'm fine with this chapter, I know exactly how to tag this, but I don't want to put any spoilers on the tags but on the other hand it's nice to know what you're getting into, so, would you like me to tag it all now? Like, I've got all of this planned out, should I tag it now or should I tag is as I go?  
> Honesty I can't stress enough how happy all your comments make me and the kudos and everything, every time I get an email from Ao3 I smile soooo big.  
> Okay, I really should leave it at this because I have an economy exam in a few hours and haven't really studied yet.  
> Thank yooooooouuuuu.  
> Take care and I love you all!!!  
> xoxo


	3. November 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Samu goes to Paris to see Carla. Okay, here's more fluff, don't worry, the angst is coming, just give it time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! So here is the chapter! Sorry it's taken me longer than usual to post it and that it's shorter than usual. I HATE FINALS.  
> Hope you like this chapter as much as I do, though, it took me a little while to figure out how to write it, but I'm happy with the outcome.  
> By the way, I know there are comments on my inbox, I'm aware, but I haven't had a single moment of peace until today, I'll get to them, I love reading your comments and seeing the kudos and the number of views go up and everything, like, guys you don't know how much you brighten up my day.  
> Anyway, ENJOY!

“Mom I’ll try.”

“But, Samu, it has to be soon, he doesn’t have much time left.”

“Look mom, I’ll do whatever I can to help, but Nano is old enough to make his own choices.”

“Samuel, he didn’t know.”

“Yeah, that’s what he says, but it wouldn’t be the first time he does something like that.”

“Samu, you know I’m the first one not to trust your brother, but I have a feeling he’s telling the truth here, call it mother’s intuition.”

“Mom, I’ve already said I’ll do whatever I can.”

“He can’t go to prison, not in Morocco.”

“I know, mom.”

“He’s family.”

“Mom. I’ll try, I’ll get the money somehow, but he has to stay away, find another way to make money. Neither you nor I are made of gold. We can’t keep paying his way out of these messes.”

“I know baby, just this once.”

“I don’t know where I’ll get the money from, it’s 1000 euros, mom, that’s A LOT of money, I need it to live.”

“Samu, I’m already putting 19.000 I don’t have more money, those are all my savings.”

“Mom, you shouldn’t do that, that should be for when you retire, so that you can travel or something.”

“I’m counting on my lawyer son for that.”

Samuel scoffed. “Okay, I’ll see what I can do about the money.”

“Samu, I know you don’t like the idea but you could ask your girlfriend, I mean, isn’t she loaded?”

“I’m not getting Carla involved in Nano’s mess, mom. It’s not gonna happen.”

“But, Samu, I’m sure 1000 euros is nothing to her.”

“I’m not asking her, mom, that’s final.”

Samuel saw Carla’s unmistakable blond hair in the crowd. “Okay, mom, I have to go, please take care of yourself.”

“I will.”

“I mean it, if something happens to you because of Nano…”

“Nothing will happen, Samu.”

“It better not.” He took a deep breath. “Okay, mom, I love you.”

Samuel could feel his mother smiling from the other side of the phone line. “I love you too, baby.”

“Good bye.”

“Bye.”

Samuel had thought Madrid in November was a cold city, it turned out it was nothing compared to Paris, he hugged his jacket closer to him to force some warmth in his body, the conversation he just had with his mother didn’t help at all, he was cold with worry. For Nano, for his mom, even for himself, he didn’t know what to do about the money, didn’t have those kind of savings, but it was either that or Nano getting a beating that, with a little bit of luck, would land him in jail with irreparable damage. He hated his brother for putting him in the middle of these messes, but he also loved him and was not about to let him ruin his life. 

One thing he was sure of was that he _could not_ , _would not_ get Carla into this whole thing, the last time one of his girlfriends got involved with Nano’s business she ended up pregnant by his brother and dead in a swimming pool. He was not about to relive that experience with Carla. Carla, who always felt a thousand times more special to him than anyone else who had ever entered his life. Carla, who truly, really, loved him. Carla, who wasn’t just curious about his lifestyle and actually wanted nothing to do with it. Carla who wanted to be with him because it was him, and that was enough for her. Samu was so sure about her love for him he sometimes could taste it.

So no, he was not getting Carla involved, so he had about 5 seconds to fix his face, make sure none of his concern was showing, before facing her. He concentrated into making his brother’s drama a little voice in his head that he could easily shut up and focused on how happy he was to be actually seeing the girl again, seeing her face make its way towards him through the crowd made all his feelings for her come back like a tsunami, so it wasn’t that hard at all to forget about his brother. 

It had been a weird month for the guy, he’d thought he’d be unable to go back to something resembling to “normal” without Carla, it turned out that wasn’t the case. He did mind not having her by his side, but work had been brutal and he’d had his firsts exams which had taken up a whole lot of time that he would’ve otherwise spent missing her.

And then there had been the new people. He hadn’t actually talked to anyone before,but making some kind of friends became somehow unavoidable in November, when exams began. If Samuel had learned anything from his life, it was that misery brings people together, and there’s nothing more stressing for a student than exams, so he’d found himself in the library with a bunch of classmates going over History of Law and complaining about the teacher. After the exam they’d had a couple of beers. Samuel found himself almost laughing, and the plans seemed to form on their own, beers, clubs and a weekend after exams in La Sierra in someone’s grandparents’ house. 

Samuel had almost forgotten how it felt to have a group of friends who weren’t filthy rich, who understood the fact that he was working to pay rent and that he needed a scholarship, with apartments the same size as his, who didn’t think it weird that he biked everywhere because gas was way too expensive. It felt nice to go to a club without a dress code. Samuel loved Guzmán and Carla to pieces, but going out with someone who was buried in money meat so much planning, you needed the suit, the shoes, the reservations... With his classmates from uni it just meant deciding to go out after class, having dinner somewhere extremely cheap, drinking in a park and getting in a club, they didn’t even change clothes.

It didn’t take Samuel long to feel comfortable and welcomed there, he still saw Guzman and Rebe and Omar and Ander and Caye regularly. They all seemed to be getting used to the new rhythm of life outside of Las Encinas, it was weird not seeing them almost every day, bumping into each other in the corridors, but they were getting used to the “new normal” of getting together for a study session in one of their homes once a week.

With Carla the situation was weird, every time he saw her his heart stopped and he realized how much he loved her, that feeling never left, it was always somewhere deep inside, but it never was front and centre, only when she was there, when she wasn’t it was easily ignored. Seeing her clothes in his apartment was a reminder that he hadn’t dreamt the week they’d spent together, that she’d been there, with him, every night for 9 days, but it didn’t prevent him from going back to his life or from living it the way he’d always lived it, he had a feeling with Carla it’d be better, but since she wasn’t there he didn’t dwell on it for too long and kept on living.

Carla had found coming home heartbreaking, at least for the first few days. Her friends in Paris had nothing to do with Omar, Ander, Samuel and even Caye in Madrid, she didn’t feel like she shared anything with them, she felt detached in a city that had previously been her lifeline. She found her small apartment small and lonely, the streets were too crowded, people at uni too shallow and he weather too cold. 

Probably what bothered her the most was how much she seemed to miss Samuel and how lame it was that she was actually waiting for him to call, that wasn’t her, at all, she’d never felt this way before and so she began to feel like she was losing herself. Then Lu called her. Carla didn’t seem able to hide anything from her best friend and, after guessing what was going on, Lu told her to get her shit together and to make herself busy, “find a hobby or something. I don’t know, a quick fuck in the bathroom always seems to do the trick for you, find some hot piece of french ass” had been her exact words. So Carla did. She didn’t find a hobby, she didn’t think she needed one, she also didn’t find someone to fuck her feelings away, somehow that didn’t seem smart, but she got way more involved in the company.

She’d been working only with the new brand, letting Valerio handle most of the business and the everyday work. That changed on the first week of November. Valerio began asking for her opinion in most decisions, even those he didn’t really need her opinion on. Carla suspected Lu had threatened her brother with releasing embarrassing childhood videos if he didn’t give her something to do. 

So now Carla had taken over half of Valerio’s tasks in the company and given him half of her father’s, mainly now Valerio was in charge of the original brand of whines, the one that had her name front and centre in the bottle. If she was being honest, she’d kind of done it as revenge for what he’d told her at the company’s event. She’d had enough of her father, she didn’t wanna see him and she didn’t wanna talk to him. If it were up to her, she’d fire him and would give him a small allowance to get him off her back. But she needed the appearance of a happy family, she needed him to keep working for her to keep the old investors happy but, most importantly, she needed him close so that he wouldn’t go and work somewhere else to make her life even more difficult.

The thing is, by the time Samuel got off the train she was the busiest she’d ever been, exams were approaching fast and the wineries occupied most of her time. She hadn’t stopped missing Samuel, she just stopped having time to do so. Sometimes, when she finally went to sleep she dreamed he was holding her, that he could kiss her worries away, but she didn’t _need_ him anymore and, if she was being honest, she didn’t really want him to come, she had a mountain of work and he was only gonna distract her because the only thing she could focus on when he was around was him, the way he looked, his small smile, his confidence, his eyes, his mouth, his body, his voice... and she couldn’t really afford that, she was having problems with the supermarket chains who were meant to distribute the wine and exams would begin next week and she needed to think about that and not worry about how Samuel made her feel.

Her mindset as she walked to greet him in the heart of Paris was very different from his, he thought of how happy, how lucky, he was to have her and to be able to spend a couple of days doing nothing by her side. Carla was thinking how she was doing this because she’d _promised_ to do it a few months ago and not because she actually _wanted_ to do it. 

Carla had a whole speech rehearsed about how this wasn’t working and they needed to break up, but then their eyes met. She saw him standing there, a big smile plastered in his face, happy to see her, confident, strong, quiet, loving... and all her plans were throw out the window. The supermarket chains didn’t matter, the fact that she had a statistics exam in three days that she was nowhere near understanding didn’t matter, that she was broken hearted because of the boy standing in front of her didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was his little smile and the certainty in his eyes. He was sure about this, about them so she decided, once again, to trust her heart and, by extension, trust him because, she was becoming to realize (and it was a very scary thought) there wasn’t much difference between the two anymore.

He took one step and leaned in to kiss her, it was short and sweet and made him remember why he’d fallen in love with her in the first place, how fortunate he’d felt seeing this cold ice queen let herself melt and be with him. It was in that kiss that he realized how much he’d actually missed her, how he’d been living his life at half speed, not really enjoying things all the way because there had always been a little voice in his head telling him that Carla wasn’t there, that the experience couldn’t be all that it should be because he didn’t have her by his side to share it with.

“How was the train ride?”

“Well, I had the time to finish an assignment, at least it was productive.”

“That bad?”

“Well, my but is a little bit swore.”

“It looks fine to me” She said with an appreciative smile. He laughed quietly and threw an arm around her shoulders. .

“God I missed you”, she said, simple and true. He smiled, kissing her temple. She winked at him and they got out of there.

Carla took him to a small bakery she’d discovered a couple of weeks ago, it was run by an old french lady who Carla loved because of her no-nonsense behaviour, the woman was small and wrinkled but did not take shit from anyone, she was quiet and polite, but she’d heard her almost murder some tourists two days ago because they’d tried to bargain with her the price of the croissants. Samuel needed to meet her.

The old lady smiled at Carla, it was cold and polite, she was very efficient in serving them breakfast and Carla and Samuel left the bakery with a brown paper bag with a couple croissants secured inside.

“I love her.” Said Carla, grabbing Samuel’s hand and lying her head on his shoulder. Samuel kissed her temple and kept on walking towards the apartment. Carla really didn’t need to tell him _why_ she liked the old lady who hadn’t said more than two words to them, it was like seeing a version of Carla from another universe where instead of the daughter of one of the most important aristocratic families in Spain, she’d been born into a middle class family in Paris and taken over the family business in the bakery.

They arrived at her small apartment and Carla began making coffee as Samuel brought his duffel bag in the room, taking a moment to look out the window. He had a couple of things he wanted to bring up with Carla but didn’t really know _how_ to do it, Carla wasn’t always particularly receptive to talking, but they needed to do it, and he just didn’t wanna end up in another stupid fight where Carla got defensive and mean and he got exasperated.

The he figured that if that’s how they fought, then that’s how they fought and there wasn’t much he could do about it, he’d rather fight than not talk at all, so, when Carla calls his name, asking if he’s gonna come out of the room at some point, he laughs and leaves the room.

They were sitting on the sofa, facing each other, cross legged, cradling coffee mugs in their hands and with the croissants laying on the space between them. Samuel found that he might need some time to get used to the feeling of having Carla there again, how physical everything became when she was close, how much everything intensified, how his feelings were so much more difficult to control. He was glad for the physical distance between them as he got used to sharing the space, somehow knowing that Carla was feeling the same way, he looked out the window and let himself get lost in the view, god, Paris really was one of the most beautiful cities in the world.

So he almost jumped out of his skin when he heard Carla’s voice, “can I ask you something?”

There’d been this one thing that’d been nagging Carla since she’d seen Samu again, while all of the doubts about their relationship had basically evaporated once she saw him, one fear, one fear that ran deeper than all the uncertainty about the future was beginning to make itself at home in her heart, and she needed to kick it out, for good. On their walk back home she made herself a promise that she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep but that she needed to try and keep it, at least. She promised herself she would stop trying to find excuses to get the hell out of this, she told herself that, after so much bad shit she fucking deserved something good, so there’d be no more running away, scared of the intensity of her feelings.

So when she saw Samu’s face, ready to listen she took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “God, I hate myself, I’m gonna sound like a desperate needy girlfriend, but you didn’t say you missed me, at the train station, I hadn’t actually noticed till we left the bakery but you’ve always said you missed me, and today, you didn’t say anything. Didn’t you miss me?”

Samuel smiled, a small, kind, loving smile and grabbed her ankle and began drawing small circles on her skin with his thumb. “Of course I’ve missed you it’s just…”

Carla straightened her back, going cold. Fuck, Samuel hadn’t meant to hurt her, so he added some pressure on her ankle, anchoring her in the moment and reassuring her about his feelings. “I don’t think I’ve noticed till now. I mean, I thought that it’d be nice having you with me, but I didn’t need you with me, so no, I didn’t miss you, but then, I saw you at the train station and I realized how gray my life has been these past few weeks. Does it make sense?”

Carla gave him his favourite smile, it’s one that’s only reserved for him, shy and happy and slightly overwhelmed. “Of course.”

They went back to sitting in silence and contemplating the landscape for a couple of minutes, the silence enveloping like a warm blanket in a cold winter’s eve.

“Carla” his voice was low, barely a whisper.

“Mmm” She was sipping on her coffee mug, back resting against the arm of the sofa, completely checked out from reality.

“Why didn’t you want me to come?” Her head snapped up to look at his eyes, and he felt the cold surrounding her, her armour back in place. He sighed but looked at her with love, he didn’t blame her, he just didn’t understand.

“I wanted you to come.”

“Carla,” his voice was still barely a whisper, “you took something that was meant to be a week long and turned it into a week-end.”

Carla swallowed and grabbed her coffee mug tighter between her hands, straightening her back. “I did it because I wanted you to come, so much it scared me.”

“Carla, don’t do it again. Please, I’m fine with it this time, but if it ever happens again, just call me, we’ll figure it out. We always do, but we’re a team, if you’re scared, talk to me.”

“It’s just… Do you know what you said? About not realizing your world was gray? Well I did, and I missed the colours and you and you were about to come when I began to get back to my life, and I have so much work with the company and exams and, when you’re here, all I can think about is how to trick you into spending the whole day in bed, or walking around the city of watching weird movies only you seem to like, or reading books, and I… I can’t afford to do any of this things, not right now.”

Carla was cold, looking at him kind of like detached from the situation, the only way she seemed to be able to talk about her feelings was behind her ice walls, and Samu didn’t really mind it, not the perfect posture, not the cold eyes, not the detached voice, it was all Carla, it was kind of one of the reasons he loved her.

“You make me lose control, and I’m not used to it.” She said, allowing herself a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, but warmed her face nonetheless.

“You make me lose control as well,” he admitted, smiling.

“It doesn’t look like it.” It was true, Samuel was always so sure about things, he always seemed so poised, so in control, she knew he could lose it, she’d seen it, it just didn’t look like it was about to happen anytime soon, and not because of her.

“Carla, I’ve done a lot of stupid things because I love you, things I wouldn’t have done if I didn’t.” God, he had been so close to leave his brother in jail in order to spend some more time with her, so that they could figure out what they had between them, he got spelled because he punched Valerio because he was selling her drugs, he was in a long-distance open-relationship, we was _in Paris_ instead of home studying because he loved her, he was about to be broke because of her, his brother would have to stay in a very dangerous situation because of her. He was completely out of control because of her, because he was head over heels in love with her, and he didn’t give a fuck, none of it mattered to him because he was with her, in a sofa, grabbing her by the ankle and drinking coffee she’d made. And, somehow, that was enough. 

“It sometimes scares me what I’d be willing to do for you.” He confessed. “I like that you feel out of control, it means you love me. But, next time, you tell me if you’re busy and can’t spend the whole week with me, please, don’t give me half-assed excuses, it’s okay if we don’t see each other in a couple of months, it doesn’t mean we love each other any less. We’re doing this like this because we can’t afford to put the other first right now, if you can’t see me, I won’t like it, but I’ll understand.”

“I know.” She smiled and leaned in, straddling him, and kissed him hard and deep. He melted under her weight, she loved how he instantly relaxed when she touched him, when she kissed him. She ran her fingers through his hair, hard and demanding, trying to make him understand how much she needed him without using words, he parted his lips and she used the opportunity to explore his mouth, remembering every corner, all the teeth, the soft skin of the bridge of his mouth, the sweet and sour taste of his lips, she’d missed him so much she was sure she’d die because of it, and now here he was, her miracle in flesh and blood, soft and hard under her touch.

It didn’t take long for them to undress, Samuel was shocked it had taken them this long to get there, him inside her, panting against her neck, her back scraping against the sofa and her breasts pressed to his chest. Just like it should be. 

He looked down at her, really looked and she sensed it and opened her eyes. It was like staring into each other’s souls, and they knew, no matter what happened, how much they fought, how confusing their life got, how lost they felt, how lonely, their bodies would always speak the truth to each other, their sweat would always be honest, their eyes would always say the only thing that truly mattered: they loved each other. It would never change, it would never stop. It would always be there, in their hearts, no matter how many walls they built, how hard they tried to forget, the other had made a home inside their chest cavity and they’d never leave. And they wouldn’t have it any other way.

After that they didn’t speak much, they got dressed and opened their books, Carla cursed as she tried to make sense of statistics and Samuel realized there should be a legal jargon - Spanish dictionary somewhere. They went out for lunch, needing to clear their heads and ate in a small bistro by the Seine, Carla realized she like the city like this the best. Cold, with few tourists and with Samuel by her side, on the way back to the apartment, she stopped in a small boutique and bought Samuel a pair of gloves, he accepted them with a smile and she fell even more in love with him because of it, because he let her take care of him in such a small silly way, she felt needed, she wasn’t used to it, and it turned out she liked it.

Later that night, Carla was resting her head on the curve of Samuel’s neck, her back pressed against his back, his hands innocently roaming her naked body while she absentmindedly played with the foam, water all around them in the bathroom. Samuel kissed her cheek, just because he felt like it, and she smiled at the gesture. 

“Did it feel like this with Marina?” She found herself asking. Surprisingly, Samuel wasn’t faced by the question, but he did need a couple of minutes to think about it, Carla just let him think, the movements of his hands never stopping, so she knew he hadn’t minded her question.

“I did and I didn’t. I loved her, I really did, I was fascinated by her, but I was never sure about her feelings for me, so I think I never let myself really fall. And then she died and her memory and the memory of my feelings for her are just tainted with pain and anger and everything I felt because of her death. With you… I love you, so much, and I know that you love me which only makes me love you more, it makes what I feel for you feel safe and, at the same time, so fucking dangerous.”

Carla didn’t answer, she just made an understanding noise and brought her hand up to the back of his head to turn his face towards her and kiss him, loving and sweet and short. “I love you too,” she whispered to his lips, once they pulled apart.

“I know,” he smiled into her mouth, “thank you.” 

“Any time.” She gave him one last peck and went back to playing with the bubbles.

They sat there, in silence for a while, Samuel watching as she moved the bubbles around humming an old spanish lullaby, he thought how weird it was that they had two very different upbringings but were sang the same songs by their mothers in the late hours of the night, hoping that they would fall asleep and grow up to be strong, happy and healthy.

“How about you and Polo?” Carla smiled at his question, knowing it would come, wanting it to.

“I’ve never felt like this, Samu.” She told him, straight away. “I had a crush on Polo for so long when I was younger, but I don’t know if it was because I actually liked them or because everyone teased us about how a great couple we’d be. I dated him because I was a preteen and I didn’t know what love was, and then I grew up and thought that what I felt for Polo was what true love felt. I mean, I never knew anything but that and every one said we were in love and I didn’t know what that was, so surely my parents would know, right? I don’t know… I loved him, don’t get me wrong, I really did, but I don’t think I was ever in love with him.”

Samuel smiled against her head. “I’m glad I get to be your first.” 

She turned around in the tube, careful not to spill any water, and looked at him from the other side. “I hope you’re my last, too.” She said, honest, and cold and in such a Carla way that Samuel found himself making his way over to her, moving her so that she was straddling him. He took her face between his hands and looked at her in the eyes, really looked and let her look. The love, the fear, the pain, the timeline of their love for each other was written plain and simple in their faces, there was no need to hide it for they were safe there, in each other’s arms.

“I promise I’ll be your last.”

“I promise I’ll be your last.”

They sat there, hugging each other tight until the water ran cold and they were forced to get out of the bathtub, teeth clacking and wrinkled skin.

Carla found it difficult to fall asleep that night, she was kept awake by the sleeping boy by her side, she felt overwhelmed by her love for him, by the honesty of their promise, it had felt more powerful than a wedding vow, it had been intimate, and loving, and true. Shared between themselves and no one else, because their love was private and it was theirs.

Samuel looked so young when he slept, the chain around his neck shining against his chest, his eyelids fluttering slightly as he dreamt, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips, the shadow of his beard raspy against his hand, his hair tousled against the pillow, his skin soft as she traced the muscles of his naked chest under the covers. He was in peace, happy and contempt and she felt a surge of pride thinking that he was able to be so serene in her bed, by her side, that this stoic man was able to let go and relax when she was there.

She looked at the time, it was 3am, she did the math and figured Lu was awake, she didn’t know her schedule but figured she could give it a try, so she picked up her phone and called her best friend, she battled with herself about weather or not she should get out of bed so as to not wake Samu, but she couldn’t bring herself to, so she curled around him, his arm instinctively holding her tighter, and pressed call.

“Carla, is everything alright?” Her best friend asked her from the other side of the Atlantic.

“Yeah, don’t worry.” She answered, quietly.

“Are you sure?” Lu lowered her voice as well, not really knowing why, she was in her apartment alone, but Carla was speaking quietly so it felt wrong to speak in a regular voice.

“Yeah.” Lu could hear the smile in her best friend’s lips and sighed relieved, she’d been honestly worried about her, close to booking plane tickets to go to Paris, classes be damned.

“What about Samuel?”

“He’s sleeping here.”

“Good for you, have you told him I’ll murder him if he even thinks about hurting you?”

“I’m letting you do the honour.”

“That’s my bitch.”

Carla laughed quietly from the other side of the phone.

“It must be late in Paris, what are you doing calling me?”

“Couldn’t sleep, wanted to gossip.”

“Please, honey, I really do not want a play by play of your sexcapades with Samuel.”

“Why, jealous?”

“You wish.”

“How is it going with that Logan guy?”

“His name is Liam, and we’re talking about you, don’t change the subject. So Samuel, you guys talked?”

“We did, god, Lu I think he really really loves me.” Lu was shocked by the emotion in Carla’s voice, she sounded the most teenagey she’d ever sounded to Lu, Carla was always so calm and collected, but now her voice was actually happy, even giddy and trembling a little bit with emotion. Lu heard her exhale on the other side of the line. “He’s the one for me, Lu. There’s never gonna be anything else or anyone else for me. I mean, I know we can’t be a normal couple right now, but once we can…”

“So you think you’ll marry him?”

“The moment he asks.”

“Have you told him.”

“No, but today we promised that we’d be each other’s last.”

“That’s deep, baby.”

“I know.”

“Aren’t you scared? I’d be terrified.”

“Oh, I am, I’ve never been more scared in my life.”

“Carla, be careful, I thought the same thing about Guzmán, and look how that turned out.”

“No, Lu, we are not how you and Guzmán were, this is forever.”

“I’m happy for you, baby.”

“Thank you, now, what about Logan?”

“His. Name. Is. Liam.”

“Right, right, Liam, sorry. Please tell me you’ve already slept with him and his muscles.”

They talked until Carla felt her body giving up to the exhaustion of the day and she fell asleep in Samuel’s arms.

Next day they woke up early, too early according to Samuel. Carla had breakfast delivered and they spend the whole day in their pj’s studying and working, Carla was close to giving up on the Supermarket chains when Valerio swooped in and saved her life and probably her whole company by giving them an ultimatum. So the new wine was all but ready to go and Carla was glad because with finals and everything she did not have time to fight with old white dudes who where hellbent on making her life a living hell just because she was not an old white dude herself.

The day was busy and uneventful, something Carla wasn’t entirely used to when Samuel was around, but was beginning to realize that she really liked it a lot. They’d make small gestures to remind each other that they were there even if they had things to do, details that meant the world, like how Samuel made her a cup of coffee without her having to ask him to and the fact that it was perfect, exactly how she liked it. Or how Carla got him a sweater when she saw him bracing himself between page and page. They made a good team. They were the best team.

Sunday flew by and suddenly it was Monday morning and Samuel had to go. They looked at each other, sure about their feelings, about where their relationship was heading even if they weren’t quite there right now. They kissed softly and lovingly, unafraid and unbothered by PDA, that moment felt theirs and theirs alone and no one was sharing it with them, even if they saw it. Carla watched as Samuel got in the train and waved goodbye, he blew her a kiss and she put it in her pocket, that jacket became her favourite one.

Carla walked home, happy and content. It had been an amazing weekend and somehow the future stopped being scary, and she felt Samuel by her side, even if he was on a train, getting away from her.

That’s when her dad called and it all went to hell, because good things can never last and of course her father would sense her happiness and come in to burst her little bubble.

“What do you want.” Her voice was cold and sharp. She’d had more than enough of the man.

“Good day to you too.”

“My day isn’t good. Not any more. What do you want?”

“I just wanted to offer my help.”

“I don’t need your help.”

“That’s not what I heard, from what I’m hearing the Supermarket chains are making it difficult for you to distribute the new housewife wine. I’m here to offer my help, I know those guys, I can make it happen.”

Carla froze. Of course. It made so much fucking sense. Why hadn’t she thought about it earlier? “It was you, wasn’t it? You know them and told them to make my life a living hell so that you could swipe in and save me and make me look incompetent. God. How have I been so blind?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about honey, I just want to help.”

“I don’t need your help. The situation is handled and if I ever hear that you have but the company in jeopardy I’ll fire you, I don’t even care anymore. You are stopping this RIGHT NOW.”

“I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Carla hung up on him. She’d had enough, but she was sure that wasn’t the last time he’d interfere. Fuck. She needed to call Valerio.

Samuel arrived to Atocha tired and ready to go to bed, but he had classes so he went home and took a quick shower before going to uni. He got home ready to go to bed and for the day to be over, he was exhausted, every muscle in his body screamed in pain because of the long train ride. So it didn’t surprise him when he saw Cristian and Omar at his doorstep, of course the universe had to go and ruin his already bad day.

“Hey dude.” Cristian’s voice was devoid of any of his usual swagger, he was worryingly serious, so was Omar when he hugged him a little tighter than usual.

“What’s going on, guys?”

“We’ll tell you upstairs, come on.”

They were sitting in the sofa nursing a beer each before Cristian took a deep breath.

“Nano is in the hospital.”

“What?”

“Your mother tried calling you but you weren’t picking up. She’s with him, don’t worry.”

“My phone died shortly after the train ride, I forgot to charge it. What happened? What’s wrong?”

“It was a warning, he’ll get out of this.”

“Fuck. Nano.”

“They are getting impatient, Samu. They want the money.”

“Why does Nano always get involved with drug trafficking? Hasn’t he learned the lesson? He was in jail for fuck’s sake!”

“Can’t you ask the little marchioness? She’s loaded.”

“I’ve already told my mom I’m not getting Carla involved in this mess.”

“Okay, Samu, but what are we gonna do, then?”

“I don’t know, I could sell the car, they’d give me enough, I think.”

“Samu, you got that to go to Paris and visit Carla.” Omar’s voice was quiet.

“What do you want me to do, then, Omar? Wait for my brother to go to jail or die? Because these are his only options if I don’t get him the money.”

“Okay, you sell the car, do you know anyone who might want to buy it, like right now?” Cristian asked. “Because there’s no more time.”

“I might know someone from uni who’d buy it.”

He had to fight the urge to call Carla and tell her about it, needed to hear her voice telling him everything was gonna be alright, but couldn’t get her involved. Fuck he hated Nano.

They both went to bed feeling lonely and down, but when Carla texted Samuel good night, neither of them could hide the smile spreading on their lips. Yeah, they still could make the day a little bit better, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you have these days where you wake up and think, why the hell do I keep voluntarily getting myself into stressful situations? Like, why on earth did I decide to take double the credits I need to graduate? Please someone explain.  
> Anyway, I've been like -1000 inspired to write these days because I'm drowning in exams, so I've watched way too many reactions to elite season 2 and 3 in order to get back in the carmuel train, it didn't work. You know what worked? Today I aced one of my finals and I don't have another one until Monday afternoon so I decided to relax and enjoy the rest of the day, I was sitting on my bed, patting my way too large dog, eating ice cream and watching the new season of Queer Eye, I swear, seeing the fav-five telling a gay pastor he could do anything made me write this. So I wrote it in 4 hours trying to keep my dog's paws off the keyboard.  
> Hope you like it, I really love all the love this is getting, I didn't expect it to do half as well because 1 it's my first big fan-fic and 2 it's been months since elite season 3, you don't know how much I appreciate all of you, please be safe, all of you, wherever you are.  
> xoxo Nene


	4. December 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carla and Samu celebrate Christmas apart, but New Year's together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, sorry, sorry I haven't posted in so long. This summer has been crazy and most of the time I didn't have my computer with me and, when I had I just didn't really feel like writing, but now that I have a rutine once again... Here we are! Hope you enjoy.  
> As always, your kuddos, comments, etc. are greateley appreciated, I can't believe you guys take the time to actually read what I write and the fact that some of you may think it's actually good is mindblowing.  
> I love you <3  
> Nene  
> PS: If you don't know about Spanish Christmas traditions, I'd recommend you look at the notes at the end of this to maybe better understand what's going on.

MADRID

The University’s library was filled with people, there wasn’t a single free chair, all the computers were occupied, all the private study rooms booked for weeks. Looking at all the necks bend over mountains of notes and books, at all the hands stained with ink, at all the bags under the students eyes and at their tired minds no one would say that it was Christmas Eve. But it was. 24th of December. Most of those students would go home, shower, get dressed up and try to forget about the exams coming up in order to kiss their grandmas and play with their little cousins and nephews. The library closed early, they’d be asked to leave at 5pm and they were all trying to cram as much information as possible before then.

Samuel was sitting in a corner, surrounded by people he was beginning to call his friends. There was Laura, with her short black hair and her confident smile, Alberto (they all called him Beto, though) with his blond hair in a messy bun, María, short and spunky. Samuel wasn’t sure why María was there with them, she was sure to pass, even without studying, she had the world’s most powerful memory and Samuel envied her so much because of it. 

He was tired, the world just kept putting shit on his plate and he didn’t know how to handle it, first there were the exams, which he  _ had _ to ace if he didn’t want to lose his scholarship, then there was work, at least that had stopped for the holidays, but he didn’t really know how he was gonna manage exams and work at the same time, just thinking about it made him wanna punch something, or someone, he wasn’t at all particular about the recipient of his punches. But, most of all, there was Nano. 

Samuel had managed to sell the car for a little over 1000 euros, so he’d sent half of that to his brother, who’d promised to give it back as soon as possible, Samuel didn’t really count on it. The thing was, Nano’s problems weren’t actually solved, the mafia he’d gotten mixed up with was making his life a living hell and he needed to leave, but he needed money to do that. Samuel was tired of feeling responsible for his brother’s mistakes and of keeping Nano away from the trouble that he always seemed to get into. So now, Nano and his mom were back at his place, and that was weird, because he was sleeping in his mom’s old room and his mom was sleeping in his old room and they hadn’t really talked in a while and it was all very awkward and he had exams and should not be focusing on that. 

Nano didn’t wanna stay in Spain, he didn’t trust the justice system anymore and didn’t actually like the fact that Samu was studying to be a lawyer. That only added to the tense situation in the house. Samu was looking for jobs for him outside of the country, it looked like Portugal might be a safe option, though Samu didn’t get the difference between Spain and Portugal’s justice systems, they practically worked the same way, but… Nano at this point would feel safe anywhere outside of Spain and Samu couldn’t blame him.

The only thing he did now to release some tension that actually worked was boxing with Rebe, which helped with the wanting and with that “i wanna punch anything and everything” feeling inside of him. He also found out that studying, both with his old friends and his new friends, helped with the feeling of being alone in front of the tsunami that was the first exam week of the year. But, what had helped the most had been talking to Carla. She didn’t know about Nano, which he actually found refreshing because it allowed him to talk about other things aside from that. Nano seemed to be the only thing his friends and family were willing to talk about, it was their main worry and so the only topic of conversation, and he didn’t blame them, but having Carla to complain about exams and work and just talk about this and that had been nice.

Those weekly catch-up calls had become an organic development in their relationship, last time they saw each other they’d seemed to hit a turning point. They talked more, they texted every day and they called each other at least once a week just to chat, their conversations stopped revolving around sex and started being about something else, they’d spend hours lying on their beds talking about their childhoods, their families, university, their friends, their hopes and dreams… They began to get to know each other in a different way because they already knew their bodies and their hearts, but they didn’t really know anything about their pasts and their futures, or even their presents. It felt nice to have someone to talk to, to really talk to.

Their arrangement hadn’t changed, they didn’t really want to change it, it was part fear of what could happen if they closed the relationship, part the fact that they didn’t mind leaving it open. Neither one of them was the jealous type and now more than ever they trusted each other and their love, so the “sex with other people” part of the arrangement was still in place, and both of them used it to their advantage, but that didn’t change the fact that they loved and cared for each other deeply and more than they ever had.

Samuel left his friends at the metro station and got on his bike, he got home at 6pm and hopped into the shower. Christmas at their house was nothing too fancy, just the three of them and whatever Nano felt like cooking, it varied, soup, fish, meat… It was always a bit more fancy than they were used to and their mom would always make them dress up, at least a little bit, and she’d take a picture and put it in the family album. After dinner they played cards and got a little on the drunk side and Nano and his mom would convince Samu to join them in the Christmas caroling, he always ended up with the anisette bottle and the wooden spoon, scratching while trying to keep up with the rhythm. They went to bed high on the sugar from the nougat, the marzipan and the wafers, happy and usually with plenty leftovers to eat for the following days.

That Christmas was no different, even if the family was in a weird spot, even if dinner was simpler than usual because they were all saving for Nano, even if the previous days had been awkward, Nano’s leg in a cast a constant reminder of what had happened, they ended up singing off key, drunk on cava and stomachs aching because they’d eaten too much sugar. Samuel gave thanks to whoever was listening, his Christmas had been perfect, his family was safe and they were happy, it was all he could ask for at this point.

Carla woke up in a fluffy bed, way too hot for it to be December the 25th, with something moving the mattress. It took her a couple of minutes to realize it was hot because she was in Chile, where Christmas happens during summer (something she still wasn’t used to), and the thing moving the bed was an overly excited Valerio jumping up and down on the mattress.

“There are presents under the tree”. He shouted, excited.

“And you are turning 22 next year”, she said, burying her head in the pillows. She was hungover, it was official.

It was her, Lu and Valerio for Christmas, just like it had been last year, she was grateful the Montesinos siblings had decided to unofficially adopt her and included her in all family traditions because she did not want to spend Christmas with her own family and spending it alone would feel depressing.

The thing was that Carla wasn’t used to getting up early for presents on Christmas’ Day, she was used to getting up late, going to her grandma’s and eating way more than was necessary. Presents were on the 6th of January, not the 25th of December and Carla deeply regretted drinking all that wine and champagne the night before.

“It’s no use, Carla, I’ve already tried it, he wants us to go downstairs.” Lu climbed into bed with her and got under the covers.

“Girls! Come on, there are presents, like a bunch of them.”

_ We put them there last night _ , Carla thought, but she didn’t say that, what she said instead was “Everything hurts!”

“When I see you like this I’m reminded of how lucky I am now that I’m sober.” The guy threw himself between Lu and Carla and hugged them tight to his body, they both groaned.

“Please, do not brag about your lack of a headache, it’s not polite.” His sister scolded him.

“Come one, have an ibuprofen, drink some water and LET’S GO DOWNSTAIRS.”

Valerio didn’t have to beg much more, both of the girls got up, drank a couple glasses of water and went downstairs. There was a magnificent Christmas Tree in the middle of the living room, they’d decorated it tastefully between the three of them the moment they got there a few days ago. Carla had wondered why Valerio had bought a house in Chile for a while, he spent most of his time in Europe, had an amazing apartment in Madrid and another one in London and he was hunting for something  _ just perfect  _ in Paris. So why go back to South America when both his parents were assholes? Then she went back to Madrid and figured it out. There are places that just feel like home, Chile was like that for Valerio, despite the bad memories.

There really was a huge amount of presents piled up around the Christmas tree, varying in colours, shapes and sizes, god, they’d gone all out. They had a small breakfast and drank hot cocoa topped with marshmallows while they opened the presents in their pyjamas, even if it was extremely hot outside, it somehow felt right. Lu and Valerio switched between recording the whole thing and taking pictures.

Carla ended up with a whole new wardrobe, a new computer (that she didn’t know why she’d need it), some amazing shoes, makeup, a few new books, amazingly beautiful jewelry, more lingerie than there were days in the year and, what made her think she really was overpaying Valerio, five different vibrators. No one should have so much money that they’d think that was a good idea.

She got Lu five first-class plane tickets to Paris and another five back to New-York to make sure they’d see each other before summer, she also got her a couple dresses from the previous year fashion week in Paris that had made her think of her best friend, shoes and new jewelry as well as a photo album of pictures of the two of them that almost made her cry, Carla took it as a win.

She’d had more trouble figuring out what to get Valerio, the guy had basically saved her life and her company more times that she cared to count. But the day before she left for Chile, while walking the streets of Paris, the perfect present presented itself in front of her. She loved the surprised look on his face when he saw the simple silver key with the red bow. He didn’t understand it until he got the sheets of paper out of the envelope. It was the perfect apartment for him, in Paris. He hugged her so tight he almost crushed her bones. She also got him some clothes and other things, but it was that that she was the proudest of.

Carla was sitting on a plane set for Madrid that same night, looking out of the window to the map of lights underneath her, it was beautiful. She’d texted Samuel she was on her way before they’d taken off and he’d sent back a smiley face. She smiled and fought the temptation to scroll through old text messages, she was  _ not  _ gonna be that kind of person, there was no way on earth. So she ate dinner and curled into a fetal position as she fell asleep, happy once again to have the money to afford first-class plane tickets.

Carla slept soundly for most of the trip and only woke up when they’d offered her breakfast and when she’d needed to use the bathroom. She watched a couple of movies in between, not that she really liked to watch movies, but she’d needed something to do, and that was as good as anything else. Over all, it didn’t feel like much time had passed before she was in Madrid, glad that she already had a bunch of clothes there so that she could make the trip only with a cabin suitcase. She was hugging Samuel tight to her body before she really noticed what’d happened.

He was smiling like a kid on Christmas morning, looking at her like he was staring at his own personal miracle, he had never seen her this casual, she was wearing an actual hoodie with the name of her uni plastered right in the middle, her hair was in a messy bun and she was wearing a pair of old yoga pants and sneakers. She looked as beautiful as ever, Samuel doubted there was anything she could wear that would make her ugly, she was the most beautiful woman to ever walk the earth, at least according to him.

Carla hugged him tight without actually saying a word, Samuel wrapped his arms around her and squeezed almost cutting her air supply in response. She didn’t mind. His smell, his warmth, his stubble against her cheek, the rough material of his overly-washed jacket, the shape of his body. It was all him and, therefore, all home. She felt safe and allowed herself to breath him in, to relax and to actually smile.

“I’ve missed you”, he whispered on her ear, quietly, only for her to hear, guessing she maybe needed the reminder, that the phonecalls, the hours and hours spent texting each other weren’t enough because they’d never be able to come anywhere close to this, the real thing, her in his arms, him in hers, strands of her blond hair tickling his face. “Fuck, I’ve missed you.” He repeated, just because. He kissed her cheek and made his way to her mouth, leaving small loving kisses all over half of her face.

Carla’s grin was the biggest it’d been since he’d left, when his lips finally reached hers she sighed,  _ finally _ , she thought,  _ finally I’m home _ . His lips were soft against hers, moving slowly, promising things for later, later when they’d be alone. His lips told her all the truths she was aching to know, aching to know but would never dare to ask, he loved her, really loved her and he had missed her. He kissed her like she was the most precious thing in his life, like she’d break if he kissed her a little bit harder, like she’d disappear the moment they stopped kissing. Carla let him, she let him and basked in the feeling of being wanted, needed and loved, something she still had to remind herself was actually happening. 

When they finally pulled apart, Samuel wouldn’t have been able to tell you if they’d kissed for a minute, an hour, a day or an eternity. He didn’t care, the moment had been theirs and that was all that mattered. One of her hands was on his cheek, the other holding him close to her, not that he was even thinking about moving an inch further away from Carla. Both his hands were on her hips and he was drawing circles through the clothes, slowly and lovingly.

“I’ve missed you too.” She said, and punctuated the words with a short, caring peck. He smiled against her lips and fought the urge to lift her up and spin her around, somehow he knew it was probably not his best idea, Carla did not like to call attention to herself, and, if he was being honest, neither did he.

“I’ve got a surprise for you”. Samuel loved the way Carla raised her eyebrows, cocky, at his words.

“Is it in your bedroom?” Samu actually chuckled.

“No. We are not going into Madrid today.”

“Where are we going?”

“Nowhere fancy, I just…” Samuel smiled and gave her one last gentle peck before taking her hand. “Come on, you’ll see.”

Carla let him pull her out of the airport. It took one second for her to realize that it was winter in Spain and she wasn’t wearing a coat, she pulled Samu closer to her and hugged his arm, looking for warmth, it was undignified and unladylike and she probably wouldn’t have done it with anyone else, but it was freezing and it was Samuel, so she just did it. 

Samuel smiled when he felt her squeeze his arm. He could die right that moment and he’d die a happy man. Samu was taking Carla to the mountains, he’d packed her clothes and everything was waiting for them in his car. Well, not his car, his car now belonged to Marcos, who was nice and was gonna take good care of it. The car they were going to was Ander’s mom’s. 

“Here we are”, he said opening the passenger door. Carla hurried inside wanting to get away from the cold as soon as possible. The car was different, it was not Samuel’s, for one, his car was older and red, she didn’t know shit about cars, but this car was definitely not old and it was blue, so it was not Samuel’s. Also, where were they going? She wasn’t a huge fan of surprises. She liked to know things, to analyze them and make the best, calculated, choice. She had no clue why she was letting Samu drag her into this without asking any questions. Well, she did know, he’d had this very bright, open and excited expression when he told her it was a surprise and she hadn’t wanted to ruin it.

Samuel grabbed her suitcase,  _ why did she bring a suitcase? _ And put it in the trunk, he had to move a couple of bags around but he managed to make it fit. He went around the car and opened the driver’s door, sitting and smiling, squeezing Carla’s hand excitedly. He’d been planning this since September. When Carla’d told him she didn’t really have a family he decided to make Christmas great for her and rented a small house in the middle of nowhere, it was all he could afford, but it was nice, and it was his Christmas present to her, ten days in the mountains, just the two of them.

They didn’t speak, it turned out they were only capable of maintaining long conversations when they were either mad or miles away. When they were happy and face to face they just settled into a comfortable silence. Carla was looking out the window, watching the trees and the towns pass by, fast. Where were they going? Carla wanted to ask but didn’t want to ruin Samu’s excitement at the surprise, although it was eating her alive. 

She ended up settling on asking the smallest mystery. “So, what happened to your car?”

They’d been quiet for almost an hour, Samu had thought he was safe, that she didn’t really remember what his car looked like and wouldn’t ask. He didn’t want to lie, or lie by omission. His knuckles turned white around the wheel but he relaxed hoping Carla hadn’t noticed. 

“I sold it. Needed the money.” He didn’t look at her as he spoke and she had noticed how his body had tensed at the question. She thought maybe he was embarrassed about needing money. It was something they might need to work on, the money thing, she wanted him to know that he could always come to her about money, she wanted to take care of him, in every way he needed. She also thought it was weird because he’d never been embarrassed or defensive, always had let her pay for things, she’d always felt there wasn’t a problem there, but now… Fuck. The money couldn’t be a problem, she wouldn’t allow it. Things  _ would not _ get weird because of money, because of sexist pride.

“You could’ve asked.” She said. He heard the hurt in her tone and guessed what she was thinking. He always knew.

“I know. I love that you’d do that for me and I’ll always be grateful. I know that I can count on you and that means the world to me but this… I wanted to do this by myself. Does that make sense?”

“So you are not bothered by the fact that I make a lot more money than you do?”

He reached for her hand and kissed it once, loking her fingers with his and resting their hands on his tight.

“Carla, you’ll always make more money than I will. I’m okay with that, I don’t mind as long as you let me do little things for you.”

“Like letting you drag me to god knows where, for god knows how long to do god knows what?” She said, sarcasm spilling out of her. Samu relaxed, he hated lying to her, but she wasn’t mad and hadn’t caught him in the lie. He reminded himself to murder Nano next time he saw him.

“Like letting me drag you to god knows where, for god knows how long to do god knows what.” He agreed. She squeezed his hand.

“The suspense is killing me.”

“I know, thank you for not asking.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

“No I don’t.”

Samuel smiled and turned to look at her, to tell her he loved her, he’d always love her. Forever. The way she was looking at him, though, it was soft and caring, a gentle expression that left him breathless and lost in the depths of her eyes. She was so tired and so happy and in love. In love with him. He forgot there was a world around them because the world became just the two of them, Carla became everything that mattered, the love they felt for each other became the center of the universe, their love became the sun and they became two planets spinning around it, unable to look away from the miracle. 

Until someone honked at them and they jumped, Samu almost crashed them into a tree. Carla screamed at the top of her lungs. Then everything stopped, they looked at each other and began to laugh.

“Fuck! Do not look at me like that while we’re driving.”

“I didn’t do anything! You almost killed us!”

“Well, that was because of you, I’m not taking any responsibility for this.”

Carla looked at him, cheeks flushed and laughing uncontrollably, releasing the adrenaline, his hair was a mess, his hands were gripping the steering wheel as though it were a life line. She realized she’d never seen him laugh like this, he was happy, they’d almost died but they didn’t and he was happy and young, almost as young as he was when he slept. She stopped laughing and made a serious effort to memorize the moment, the rush of adrenaline on her veins, the way he looked and sounded and how she felt, how happy and lucky and loved he made her feel. She stored the memory, just in case.

He turned around and saw she was looking at him the exact same way that had gotten them in an almost accident. He calmed down and brushed a strand of her loose hair behind her ear.

“What are you thinking about?”

“You” she said softly, resting her head against the hand that had moved to cup her face. She kissed his palm softly, she loved how tender his touch has, contrasting the roughness of the skin there. “I was memorizing this moment.”

Her honesty hit him like a wrecking ball, something broke inside of him, and he just had to lean in. They kissed like they were water in the desert, they kissed each other with urgency and need and love, teeth clashing and tongues dancing. It was sloppy and messy and electrifying and they were both brethless and sexualy frustrated by the end of it.

“Okay”. Samu went back to gripping the steering wheel. “Okay”. Carla smiled at his futile attempts to calm himself. His lips were red, wet and swollen, his cheeks flushed and his hair a mess. He looked well kissed and she felt proud of it. She looked down at the tent on his pants and smiled, happy to know she still drove him wild.

“Drive. I want us on a bed.” She said looking out the window. “Preferably naked.”

He took a deep breath and felt his cock get impossibly harder at her words. “You can not say things like that right now, Carla, not if you want us to get to where we’re going in one piece.”

“You could always tell me where we’re going.”

“Hell will freeze before I do that.”

“You know, some people say that hell  _ is _ frozen.”

“I’m beginning to think you read too much.”

Carla fell asleep at some point, tired from traveling and rocked by the constant motion of the car. Samuel stared at her, her mouth was partially open and her breath was a little bit louder than usual, it was an almost snore, her hair was all over the place. She was beautiful. That was that. And not just because of her body, it didn’t matter that she could be a model for Victoria’s Secret, there were beautiful girls everywhere, Samu had dated a couple of them, it was the fact that she was so deeply hurt and brave and honest and she put up this wall with everyone, but somehow forgot to do so most of the time when she was with him. 

What made her beautiful in a way no one could compare, in Samu’s eyes, was how strong and vulnerable she was able to be at the same time, how sad she was most of the time but then she’d smile for him, knowing that he somehow made her happy made him feel special and loved and more at home than he felt with his own family, Carla had a way of making him feel confident and loved and safe to be himself, to speak his mind, to talk about feelings.

He parked in front of the house, it was right in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by trees and mountains. Samu knew that the town was less than 20 minutes away on foot, but it felt further away, it felt like they’d found their own pocket of the world, somewhere in la Sierra.

The house was small, it was more a cabin than an actual house, but it was just the two of them and neither one needed much space. It was perfect. Samu got the keys from a little box on the entrance. The owner of the house had told him the password so he didn’t have much trouble opening it and then the door. He brought everything inside, there were the suitcases with clothes in them, all the bags from the grocery store, filled with food and drinks and everything Samu’d thought they might need. He had no intention of leaving the house whatsoever, so he’d brought everything with him.

Carla was still deeply asleep when he opened the passenger door of the car, he considered waking her up, but he’d never traveled a distance this long and had never gotten jet-lacked in his life, so he decided against it, if Carla couldn’t sleep that night, he was sure he could find something to do with her. He picked her up bridal-style and walked through the door with her sleeping against his shoulder. He smiled sadly as he did it, couldn’t help hoping he’d get to do this in a few years, with her awake and rings on their fingers. Right that moment, it wasn’t like Samu couldn’t picture it, he could, her in white him in a black tuxedo, it just felt out of reach, far away in the future even though they both wanted it, like graduation the first day of highschool, there are a few years to go, but you know it’ll happen, and you’re mad because you just want it to happen so that you can start living the rest of your life.

Carla woke up in a strange room, the mattress was harder than she was used to and it smelled like old people and closed spaces. Where was she? The last thing she remembered was falling asleep in the car with Samu. The room was dark except for the thin line of light that came in through the closed door. Something made a loud sound and she looked at the night stand where there was her phone. Lu’d texted her, she’d forgotten to tell her she’d arrived safe and sound to Spain. She replied apologising and telling her that Samu had kidnapped her and she had no clue where she was. 

It was 2pm and her stomach knew it, it had the bad habit of making embarrassing sounds when she was hungry and today was no exception. She turned around and buried her head in the pillows, wishing they smelled like Samu, they didn’t, but she comforted herself with thinking that they would in no time.

She stood up and found that Samu had stripped her of her pants and had taken off her shoes. She really did have the best boyfriend in the world. She was curious to know where they were, the floor was wooden, but the walls were made out of stone, old stone. She went to the balcony door and opened it, there was green as far as the eye could see. Trees and grass and mountains and a cold, blue sky. So Samu had taken her to a romantic getaway in the mountains. Everything clicked. That’s why he needed the money, that’s why he sold the car. God, she was still terrified of how much he loved her, of losing that, of not being worthy of it, of screwing it up and not knowing how to assure him that she was just as deeply in love with him as he was with her.

She turned around, the room was big and the bed was actually massive, all the furniture was missmatched and made out of wood. It looked old, like a room her great grandmother could’ve lived in. It was also charming, she felt like a Disney princess for a moment, Samuel was the only person in the world capable of making her feel delicate and fragile while reminding her that she couldn’t be easily broken. What had she done to deserve someone like him?

She left the room to meet him and realized she was on the second floor, at least. He’d carried her up the stairs while she slept. That felt intimate and caring and she had to fight the wave of emotions that threatened to come spilling out of her like a torrent. Fuck. She’d woken up way too sensible for her liking.

She went down stairs to look for Samuel and found him bent over a table covered in notes, books, pens, highlighters, there was even a computer showing a powerpoint and a huge copy of the Spanish Constitution open right in the middle. He seemed to have been drinking from a mug with a drawing of a cow discarded on the floor because there was no space for it on the table. 

Samu was wearing headphones so he didn't hear Carla walking down the stairs. She took a second to take him in, the concentrated face, the smear of ink on his cheek, the blanket he’d thrown over his shoulders, the way he was unconsciously rocking the chair in front of him with his leg, how he was humming along whatever he was listening to, how his glasses were a little bit crooked and had slid to the tip of his nose. He looked so innocent, so lost in his own world, so beautiful and cute and sensible and strong all at once that she felt this urge to protect him rise from the pit of her stomach, she wanted to buy the house and forbid him from leaving further away than the little town she was sure was nearby, she’d wrap him up on that old blanket and keep him safe and happy forever, she’d make sure nothing bad ever happened to him again, she’d do everything and anything to make him forget the heartbreak his family, Marina, Guzmán, Polo and herself had put him through, she’d love him forever.

She went around Samu and hugged him tight from behind. If someone else had done that, touched him before he’d seen them, he would’ve jumped off his skin immediately, but it had been Carla, and he’d recognized her smell the moment she’d come close enough and when her arms came around him he felt his muscles relax against her, his head went back on his own accord and rested on her shoulder. She kissed him lightly on the neck and he took his head phones off. They stood like that, looking at the wall in front of them, for a while, happy, content and safe.

Samuel had never really felt at peace. There was always something to do, somewhere to be, someone to help, they needed money for this or his brother was in danger or Guzmán was drinking a little bit too much or rent was due or he had promised Omar he’d help him in the store… There was always something on his mind, always except for when he was with Carla, Carla quieted everything down, when he was with Carla he simply was, he could forget about how he needed to pass all his exams in order to keep his scholarship, he could forget about how his brother kept on ruining everybody’s lives, about how mad he actually was at him, he easily forgot everything that worried him, everything that seemed to matter before Carla disappeared and all that remained was the two of them and their little bubble.

“Are you hungry?” He asked eventually, leaning in to kiss her hand.

“Starving, actually.”

Samu didn’t need anything else, he stood up and moved to the kitchen, Carla turned on the radio, as  _ nana triste _ played in the kitchen Carla and Samu explored it. They looked for the plates, the glasses, the pots and the pans. They didn’t talk much, Samu sat on the countertop with an open textbook on his lap as Carla took her time cutting the vegetables to make a pumping soup. They were comfortable, happy in their quiet silence with guitar chords and the clicking sound the plates made when Carla moved them around as their only company. They found reasons to touch each other, to reassure each other that it was real, that they were together once more, that they actually were gonna have the chance to spend a little over a week falling asleep and waking up in the same bed.

Carla fell in a kind of trance, happy and at peace in that small kitchen with the person she loved the most by her side. She loved sharing the space with him, even when they were doing different things, thinking different things, the fact that Samuel was occupying the space beside her, that she could feel the heat radiating from his body, how he hummed quietly and off-key trying to follow the music. She was home. Carla wondered when home stopped being a place and began being a breathing, living person. She was scared of that small difference, three months ago home was an apartment in the heart of Paris, now it was a short, stubborn, Spanish boy who didn’t really have a fashion sense and liked to play it safe. But it made her happy, that he had the power to leave her homeless and that she trusted him not to do it made her happy, it made her think they’d be able to get through anything life chose to throw at them. They were each other’s home and no-one wants to be left on the street, everyone fights for that place they call home so they’d fight for each other to death if it was necessary.

Samuel was mainly pretending to study, he just really loved to watch Carla when she thought she wasn’t being watched, the way her blond hair trailed behind her, the small wrinkle between her eyebrows when she cut the carrots… Samuel couldn’t help but feel grateful to be loved by someone as special as Carla.

They ate as they talked about the last month, the little things they had skipped over the phone, like how Samu had almost forgotten to turn in an assignment although he had already printed it and had it ready to hand in, or how Carla almost ran over an old lady while taking driving lessons. It was quiet, familial, nice and simple, just how they liked it.

Sex was slow and deep lips rediscovering skin and hands tracing what were becoming old, familiar, places. Their eyes remained locked at all times, almost like they thought that, if one of them blinked, the other one would disappear. They laid on the bed afterwards, sweaty, sticky, tired and happy.

The days passed by quietly, almost like they were afraid of disturbing the love bubble that surrounded them. They prepared meals together, Carla quizzed Samu and learned way more about the Spanish justice system than she ever intended to. Samu listened to Carla’s favourite french poems and had patience as she tried to translate them. That week he discovered how falce the cold façade she put on was, he discovered she loved love itself, she loved the feeling and the freedom that went with it, she was just scared of it, probably because those two tings (freedom and love) were the only two things she was never allowed to have.

Carla stopped trying to pretend she didn’t think Samu was funny, he was unintentionally so, his face of concentration, how he talked to himself when he thought she wasn’t close, the way he hummed along whatever was playing, even if he’d never listened to it before, trying to guess where the melody was going to go, how passionate he was about boxing, something she understood nothing about, how he teased her and tried to make her laugh, how he laughed at her whenever she tried to make a joke… She laughed and slept, ate and made love to the boy of her dreams every single day for five whole days. And then she burst their bubble.

“Do you wanna throw a party on New Year’s?” Samu raised his head from his notes, taken by surprise, Carla was lying on her stomach on the couch, wearing one of his tracksuits, he found it incredibly sexy how it was actually her size. The question had come out of the blue, the plan had been to spend New Year’s in the cabin together, Samu knew Carla had been reluctant of that plan at the beginning, but he honestly thought he’d convinced her and that she was 100% on board. It turned out he was wrong.

Carla had been okay with Samu’s plan. At least for a while. She wanted to make him happy and knew that was what he wanted to do, spend the night with her, knowing that he wanted to start the year only with her by his side made her feel so honoured she ended up caving. She’d wanted to go to the club, where she knew Lu and Valerio would be, but Samuel hadn’t wanted to so she’d caved in without fighting too hard about it. But she’d wanted a party, she loved dressing up and expensive champagne and dancing until the sun came up, she loved the gossip and the performance that came with every party, she excelled at it so, when she saw her parents names amongst the guest list for a New Year’s eve party in Switzerland that she’d refused the attendance to, she found the perfect solution to what she suspected was Samu’s main reason for not wanting to go to the club. His new uni friends would not be able to pay the entrance fee and he wanted to invite them. (she figured this out in a long phone conversation with Ander where she got all the clues she needed without being too suspicious.) 

Carla was going to throw a New Year’s Eve party at her old house in one day, Lu was waiting for Carla to text her to start ordering the food and the drinks and the DJ. They were sure it was gonna become the most talked about party for years. It was their comeback into the Spanish elite and it was last minute. Spain’s it girls were back with full force, the club would be empty and they’d need security to keep the paparazzis away. Carla was giddy with excitement, she just needed Samu to agree with it.

“You wanna throw a party?” to say Samu was caught out of guard would be the understatement of the year. He had the whole meal planned, he’d even bought the grapes and had a string of beautiful lights arriving at any minute now.

“I know we’d said it’d be just the two of us, but this is gonna be fun, I promise. Lu is already calling caterers, you don’t need to worry about anything, I swear, it’ll be fun, you can invite your uni friends, I bet they’ll have fun and, if they have plans, tell them to bring them over.” Carla smiled that smile she knew Samu couldn’t resist, where she became all eyes and warmth and innocence. “The more the merrier, right? And you like parties, don’t lie to me.”

Samu laughed from where he was sitting on the floor, lying back and covering his face with an Administrative Law manual. “You have thought about everything, haven’t you?”

Carla moved from her place on the sofa to straddle Samuel on the floor and removed the book carefully. His hands immediately went to her hips and he began drawing small circles onto them with his thumbs, Carla leaned in and kissed him slowly.

“I love you.” She said in between kisses. “I want the world to know about this, I want you to realize that I want everyone to know about this because it’s the best thing in my life right now, I want the world to know you make me happy.”

Samuel smiled, knowing it wasn’t the full truth, but he didn’t press her on it, he suspected she mainly just wanted to dance and have fun and yes, having the Spanish elite know that they were together might also have something to do with it, but he knew it wasn’t the main reason, they already knew that, he’d suffered through that horrible company function to make sure they knew it. But Carla wanted it, Carla wanted to dance with her friends and show off to those who dared to want to steal her place as the queen of the Young Spanish Aristocracy and so he let himself be kissed and accepted Carla’s plans, he just wouldn’t invite his uni friends.

Carla went to bed later than usual that night, Samuel had gotten used to finding Carla already under the covers when he went to bed, reading a book or watching reruns of a tv show she’d seen a thousand times already, he usually use the last hours of the day to reread whatever he’d studied that day, making sure he had it all memorized and that he would only need to go over it one last time before the exam, he’d make sure he’d understood every single little word and coma, that he was good to go, that he could get the Honour Mention and able to get one free class next year. 

Carla was usually too cold before he was done and found refuge and warmth under the covers, waiting for him to come to bed. But she needed to finish that damned party planning, Lu had hired some random guy - she swore he’d made the “save the date” cards for the wedding of the Duchess of N. witch they both agreed had probably been the best “save the date” cards they’d ever seen - to make the invitation cards for the party. The guy had already printed them and they’d hired an actual fleet of bike owners to deliver them to every member of the Spanish elite under 30. They were  _ sure _ Spain would wake up and change its focus for that night from the clock in  _ Plaza del Sol _ to Carla’s mansion. 

Carla went to bed after 4am that night. The flowers, the theme of the party, the invitations, the catering, the drinks, the dress she’d wear, the DJ, the lights, the furniture, the guest list… Every single detail had been thoroughly thought of and hand picked by Lu and herself, she was exhausted and happy, and fell asleep hugged to the love of her life who had wanted to wait up for her but had been beaten by his need to rest and sleep, his soft snores helped her rock to sleep with a full heart and her soul at peace, ready to face the following day.

Samuel wasn’t happy when he woke up, he hadn’t slept well and the prospect of the new day wasn’t all that encinting, to put it plainly: he was regretting having said yes to the party, but he didn’t really know why he was so mad about it, or at her and he wasn’t used to not knowing why he was feeling things, he wasn’t one for strong explosive feelings, his were usually quieter and he could easily point out why he was feeling the way he was. So he was mad and frustrated at Carla, himself, at Lu for planting the idea of the party into his girlfriend’s head… he was mad at the world and didn’t know exactly why, which only made it worse.

Carla could see it, he was grumpy, took his coffee without exchanging more than three words with her and then went back upstairs to pack. She watched him patiently, giving him space to come to her whenever he was ready to talk, she’d asked him about his friends' names and he’d given her a couple reasons for why they couldn’t come, although she suspected it was more a lie than the truth, so after that she went quiet. She helped him with the bags, she made sure they’d cleaned up the house, she asked him if he wanted to be quizzed and he’d pretended not to hear her, so she was worried, she’d never seen this side of Samuel, she’d seen him happy, mad, sad, broken hearted, serious, she’d seen him cry and seen him laugh but she’d never seen him shut her out and it worried her.

So she pretended everything was okay for as long as she could, she called Lu and the catering and the flower shop to make sure everything was going smoothly, all while watching Samu from the corner of her eye as he drove quietly, gripping the wheel with more force than was needed. Once she ran out of things to do, she sat quietly on her sit, not daring to reach out and touch him, grab his hand between hers and kiss it, reassure him everything was okay, that they were together and so everything was as it should be, that there was really nothing to worry about because she was sure the two of them could easily take over the world if they set their minds to it. She didn’t do any of that, though, and she sat there missing his skin on hers, missing his small smile, missing the way he’d looked at her not one week before as they made their way to that little house, she sat there and let the tension and the silence grow around them, oppressing and dark, until she was close to choking.

“Stop the car.” Carla was cold, she was serious and Samuel understood it wasn’t a suggestion, it wasn’t a question. It was an order. So he drove them to a small resting area nearby and stopped. Carla unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car, leaving the door open she walked over to a tree and rested her head there, trying to gather her thoughts, hoping Samu would follow her there and, at the same time, not wanting him to. She waited until her heart stopped racing, until her need to cry was overpowered by her determination not to do so. Then she took a deep breath and turned around. 

Samuel was looking at her, he’d gotten out of the car at the same time she had, worried that she was gonna be sick or faint or even start yelling at him. When he saw that none of that was happening, he gave her space as he tried to figure out what was happening, he wasn’t understanding and he wasn’t used to not understanding and that confused him, he was usually so good at reading Carla. This was new. He didn’t like it and he was already in a bad mood, that only made it worsen, so he took a deep breath and made sure he wouldn’t dump it all on Carla, she was already going through something, whatever it was.

Carla didn’t even say a word to him, she just went back into the car and closed the door with one big, satisfying slam. Samu went in after her, in a less dramatic fashion, cautious about what he was going to find inside the car.

“Is everything alright?” Samu looked at her, still detached, still far away, but worried, worried about her, and that made her even madder somehow, she was supposed to ignore him, how could she do that when he seemed to care so freaking much about her?

So she exploded. Her eyes shone bright with cold unforgiving ice and nailed themselves into his.

“You know what? I told myself I was gonna give you space, I was gonna be patient and wait for you to come to me with whatever the fuck it’s happening to you. But this sucks and is not what we agreed upon when we decided to give this a shot. We said we’d tell each other the truth. And I have patience, I am the queen of patience, in any other situation with someone different I’d wait and wait and not even notice time go by. But I can’t do that with you. I see that you’re not okay, Samu, you haven’t been all morning, you haven’t said one word. And we don’t talk much, and I usually like it, but this silence is oppressing and I don’t like it. I can’t take it anymore, Samu, if you don’t tell me what the hell is going on with you I’ll call a taxi and you can go home and text me whenever you’re ready to talk.”

Samu stayed there kind of like in a trance, looking at his girlfriend go off at him like she never had before, her tone was calm, she never raised her voice, but she sounded tired, like that time at his apartment when she’d told him she could almost picture it, picture this, what they were living at the moment, but that it couldn’t happen. He let her leave that one time. He didn’t want to do it again.

“I don’t really know what’s going on, Carla, I’m just in a bad mood today for some reason. I just…” Samuel’s ideas cleared and he remained quiet for a few seconds, realizing that trying to tell Carla what was going on was actually helping him understand it. Carla saw that his brain was working on something and waited patiently for him to continue speaking. “I don’t want to go to the party today. I was fine with it last night, I didn’t lie to you, I haven’t for a long time… It’s just, I haven’t studied at all today, and I know that I won’t do it anymore, not today and not tomorrow, and… Fuck! Carla, I need the scholarship money, I need the Honours Mentions, I need to save money and it turns out that studying and getting good grades is a good way to do it, but I don’t have the time to do it anymore.”

Carla grabbed his hand, it was literally shaking. She remembered those shakes, she was used to them, just not in Samu, not in this boy who always seemed so strong and put together, these shakes had once belonged to Polo, Polo and his panic attacks. She could deal with this, she knew how to, she had before, and she knew the truth Samu couldn’t see because he was too deep inside his own mind.

“Look at me, Samu, please.” Her tone wasn’t exactly warm, it was reassuring, though, she looked strong and sure of herself, and when Samu looked at her his eyes filled with unwanted tears, he held her gaze, though, unashamed of his feelings, there was no place for that with Carla. “You can do it. I have no doubts at all about it. You have studied, you know these things, better than anyone in your class, I’m sure. You’ve worked hard and there’s still one more week before your first exam, even after New Year’s Day there still will be one week to go.”

“I know, I know those things in theory it’s just that…”

“You’re stressed.” There was a small smile tugging at the corners of Carla’s lips, and Samu smiled with her.

“I’m stressed.”

“Yeah, that’s all. And I think you’ve been all week long. But a little bit of partying will be good for you, it’ll help get your mind off of all of this. We’ll have fun.”

Samuel held Carla’s face between his hands, careful and firm at the same time, and looked at her deep in the eyes, reading the truth written in them, the truth about her love for him, about her trust in him, he saw that she believed in him, so it became easier for him to believe that too.

“Okay.” He said, and then he kissed her softly, his lips barely touching hers, basking in the feeling of a kiss that was almost not there. 

Samu began to drive shortly thereafter, Carla held his hand firmly and absentmindedly traced the patterns on his hand, the silence in the car the old, warm, comfortable blanket they were used to.

“No one has ever trusted in me like that before, you know?” He confessed a little after an hour, once they were entering Madrid.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I don’t really think my mom cares if I pass my classes as long as I don’t ask for any money, Omar is used to seeing me pass so he never even worries that I won’t, Guzman and the others don’t really care if they pass or not, so they wouldn’t understand why I do. So you are the only one who understands why this matters to me, and the fact that you believe I can do it… It means a lot.”

Carla smiled, she suspected that, but it was nice to hear, to be reassured that she understood him just as much as he understood her. This was also the reason why she asked him about Nano and his friends from uni, did they understand? Did they care? Did they trust in him?

“Nano is…” Samuel didn’t know how to say that without giving too much away. “It’s complicated. We haven’t been the same for a while now, not really, I’d blame it on Marina, but I don’t even know if that’s true anymore, I think it began the moment he got thrown in prison and then… I don’t know, it just never stopped.”

“I thought you two loved each other.”

Samu smiled, it was such an only-child comment. Anyone with siblings would understand.

“I love him. I’m pretty sure I’d do anything for him, I’ve always done that, taken care of him I mean, but… That doesn’t mean I trust him. Because I don’t, and I don’t think he trusts me, we’ve… I don’t know, we’ve grown up and grown apart and we are two very different people now.”

“Is that why you don’t want him at the party?”

_ No, I don’t want him at the party because I don’t want you to get sucked into his shit. _

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Carla suspected that wasn’t the full truth, but she didn’t push it.

“Okay, I have one more question.” 

Samu smiled. “Of course you do. Shoot.”

“Why don’t you want me to meet your friends from uni.”

Samu froze. “I do want you to meet them.”

“Samuel, at least do me the courtesy of not lying to me. You don’t want them to come to the party, you’ve made that very clear.”

“Carla, it’s not that I don’t want you to meet them. It’s that I don’t want you to meet them like that.”

“Why? A party is a great place to meet people, Samu, I don’t want to be your secret.”

“You are not. They know I have a girlfriend, they just don’t know she’s… well, you.”

“What’s wrong with me?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect, the best thing in my life I… I love you so much, Carla, sometimes I’m paralized and need a couple of seconds to process the full force of my feelings for you. But… Please don’t take this the wrong way.” Samu was already in front of Carla’s place, so he stopped the car and turned around to face her. “My friends from uni aren’t used to your life style, I don’t want them to get the wrong impression of you, they’ll meet you at that party and think you’re a stuck up princess with way too much money and free time who’s daddy always pays the bill and can get away with anything because she’s pretty and ritch.”

“None of that is true.” Samu could see the pain in her eyes and he cursed himself for having put it there, but he needed her to understand.

“I know that, I know how strong and brave you are, how much you fight to keep what you’ve got, how hard you’ve had to fight to get to where you are. But this is what it looks like from the outside, I know because I thought that two years ago and I was so fucking wrong, I want them to meet you, I want the world to know how much I love you and what an amazing person you are, but maybe not today, maybe you could join us for coffee someday, or we could go out for a couple of beers, something more laid back.”

Carla looked at him. She hated, sometimes, the image she presented onto the world, how people often thought she was a cold judgemental bitch with no feelings and way too many handbags, she was aware of it, she also knew it wasn’t true, she wanted to get to know Samu’s friends, even if she wasn’t big on having a big group of friends (she was way better at one-on-one friendships), they were important to Samuel. She let Samuel make the decision and they weren’t invited to the party, after all, they were Samuel’s friends, so it was his decision, but she would remind him about those beers the next time she was in Madrid.

They were getting dressed for the party later that day, everything was set up downstairs, when Carla brought back their conversation from earlier that day.

“Samuel, you know I’m not one for speeches, but I want to tell you one more thing and then be done with this conversation. My life is fast and busy and I can’t seem to even breath most days, it’s always been like this. But then I met you, and you make everything quiet down, I never thought it was possible, I never thought someone could make it stop, could make me live in the moment, really live in it, with you everything feels special, Samu, and if I ever pictured this happening before, it was sure as hell not with you. I am aware we come from two different worlds, you were never what I pictured when I thought about love, but now I can’t even understand the world without you. I have no idea what the future holds for us, but I know that I’ll fight with all of my being to make sure we can face it together.

You’ve changed the way I view so many things, Samu, I’m not the same person I was two years ago, I’ve come to value things other than money and status. I’m still me, let’s not fool ourselves, I’m still cold and determined and headstrong and a great problem solver, but I’m happy, you make me happy, with you all of my defenses come crashing down and I’m left being only myself. So I need one thing from you. Only one, because without it I don’t think I’ll be able to truly fight for us, and I can’t bear to let you go now. Can you give it to me, please?”

Samuel looked at her, her hair and make up already done (some professionals had come earlier on the day to work on it), on her underwear, standing in the middle of the room, looking at him with so much love and determination, cold and brave. She looked like a queen. His own personal queen, and the idea of losing her, of never being able to see her again… he couldn’t bear to think about it for more than two seconds at a time, just imagining how much his heart would break made him shiver, he didn’t want to face the real thing, not again. He knew whatever she was about to ask, he’d give it to her, no matter what it was.

“Anything.”

Carla smiled and crossed the room, grabbing his tie from the bed and placing it around his neck. She made sure to tie it perfectly, that it was placed just right, before she looked at him in the eyes to speak. “Don’t hide things from me, please, don’t lie to me. I need to know what’s going on.”

Samuel swallowed. He couldn’t promise that. He couldn’t tell her everything because there were things she was better off not knowing, like how his idiot brother got into a huge mess with a gang in Morocco, but, he thought, once that was over, there’d really be nothing left to hide from her, and it was gonna be over soon, he’d make sure of it, so, if he promised he wasn’t lying, right? Not really.

“I promise to tell you, Carla. From now on. Because I love you, and I also need for this to work, more than you can imagine.”

Their lips crashed hard and Carla found herself being pushed against a wall. His hands were everywhere, and she was almost naked. Her back, her legs, her chest, her stomach, her face, her arms… It was all on fire, she was on fire, wherever he placed his hands seemed to burst into flames, and she was shaking and having to drown down whimpers in no time. 

She hooked her legs around Samuel’s waist and he slammed her against the wall, pressing himself down, against her, making her feel his need for her. His pants were incredibly uncomfortable, and he could feel himself growing harder and hotter every time Carla brought her hips down, hard, to meet him. He groaned against her neck and then he kissed and bit and sucked on her pulse point, he could feel her trembling in his arms, her back arched, her breasts pressing against him through the thin fabric of her bra.

“I need…” Carla was on flames, her brain way too gone to be able to articulate what she wanted, what she needed, but she knew Samu would know, because he alway knew, because even in this state of need, want, desire and flames, they knew the other’s needs better than their own. And so, Carla wasn’t surprised when Samu tucked her bra down to her stomach and freed her breasts. The cold air was a shock and it only made her nipples get impossibly tighter. She almost moaned when his mouth closed around her nipple, sucking and biting, making her shiver and move against him even harder.

Carla used her heels to push Samuel’s pants off, they were halfway down, she almost felt him inside her already, when the door opened without a warning. They both turned their heads into its direction and saw Lu in an incredible pink dress standing there, horrified.

“This is so not the time to be doing this.” She said, mad. “Carla, I’ll give you exactly two minutes. I’m waiting for you outside, if you continue down this road I’ll hear and then come inside and wait for you to be dressed right here.” She turned around and was about to leave when she looked straight at Samuel. “Samu, you’ve got a very nice but.” And then she left.

Carla climbed off Samuel and put her bra back on. Then they looked at each other and burst out laughing.

“Could she have any worse timing?” He asked, once he had stopped laughing enough to talk.

“I don’t think so.” She said, slipping into her dress. “Can you zip me up?” Samuel did so easily and kissed her on the exposed skin of her neck.

“I love you.” He whispered into her skin, making her shiver and smile as the warm feeling that usually came with those words spread through her body realizing that, now, it was becoming a familiar sensation, she was getting used to being loved by Samuel, that opened a whole Pandora’s box of feelings she saved deep inside her heart. She didn’t have time to examine them now, she would do it, though, later that night, with Samuel sound asleep by her side, wrapped in his arms, feeling happy, tired and safe she’d choose to fight for that feeling, for that warmth and quiet that he brought to her busy life filled with big, noisy, everchanging cities.

“I love you too.” He kissed her softly and she kissed him back in a way that made his toes curl. Fuck. He was a goner. There was no point in denying it, even Guzmán was gonna be able to see it once he came through the door and these days the boy couldn’t even see his own shadow.

“Carla I’m coming in!” Lu yelled from the other side of the door. They both laughed.

“You better go before she drags you out of the room herself.”

“It’s almost time, the guests will start arriving soon. Are you gonna be okay being alone ‘till then?”

“I’m gonna turn Netflix on, I’m sure there’s gonna be something half decent I can watch for a bit.”

“Carla, I’m serious I’m giving you ten more seconds!”

“Okay, you go solve whatever crisis Lu is going through.”

“See you later.”

Samuel smirked and gave her a quick peck on the lips. “I love you.”

Carla didn’t answer, she just looked him straight in the eyes and kissed him on the cheek, smelling and memorizing the smell of his aftershave, the cologne, the new suit… She was gonna remember all of this forever. 

“Okay, I’m here, what’s so important that it couldn’t wait for Samu and I to be done.”

“I can’t believe you guys were about to have sex FIVE MINUTES BEFORE THE GUESTS START ARIVING”.

“Lu, chill it’s not a big deal.”

“I’m gonna need to touch your makeup, he has completely ruined it.”

Carla looked at herself in one of the glass walls that surrounded the apartment and examined her face. Lu did have a point, her lipstick was practically nonexistent and the eye shadow was a little smudged, but nothing too alarming.

“Tonight is gonna be perfect, Carla, and I’m not gonna let your sex-crazy brain ruin it.”

“I’m not gonna ruin it, Lu. Why the pressure, though?”

Lu looked away. She was nervous, Carla realized. It was new. Lu was never nervous, she was determined and sassy and way too confident even for her own good. She wasn’t nervous. If she wanted something to go one way and it didn’t, she usually got angry and either fixed it or threw a temper tantrum. She was never nervous.

“Okay, Lucrecia, who’s coming that you want to impress so much?”

Lu was walking around the living room inspecting the waiters, the two of them there made them practically run off scared and way more clumsy than usual.

“Do we have time to get new waiters?” Lu asked when a red-haired one almost broke a box of champagne flutes.

“Lu, you’re scaring them. And changing the subject. Who’s coming?”

“No-one is.”

“Lucrecia Montesinos, I think we’ve known each other for a long enough time to have put aside the need to lie.”

“Liam is coming!” They both turned around and saw Valerio coming in with the news in a deep green suit.

“You’ve forgotten your shirt.” Lu pointed out.

“No, I haven’t, little sister. And, you might get laid tonight. Congratulations.”

Lu was close to jumping in and ripping Valerio’s throat when Carla intervened.

“Valerio, good to see you. Do me a favour and go keep Samu company.”

“But I wana staaaaay.” He complained, throwing his arms around both of their shoulders. “I wanna hear the gosiiiip.”

Lu freed herself from his embrace roughly. “Well, you are not invited to it.”

“So Liam  _ is  _ coming.”

“I thought you…”

“How do you want me to know these things? I haven’t met the guy, I don’t even know his face! I just heard you talking and made a guess. The right one. Come on, sis tell your big brother all about it.”

“Valerio, fuck off. Go with Samuel.”

“But I want to…”

“GO!” Both of them yelled and Carla pushed him towards the door.

“Okay.” Carla said once he’d left. “Here’s what we are gonna do. We’re gonna go to the bathroom, you’ll fix my make up and then you’ll tell me about this whole Liam issue.”

“There’s no issue really.” Carla was sitting on the toilet as Lu carefully re-applied her mascara. “Girl, you shouldn't've let Samuel near you, I’m really not a professional, this won’t look as good as it did a couple of hours ago.”

“I know, I couldn’t help it, just make me look presentable. Now back to Liam.”

“Who are you and what have you done to my best friend? I remember you once woke up your nail stylist because your nail polish cracked at 2am and you wanted to go out.”

“I’ve changed, it’s called growing and maturing. Liam.”

“Okay, okay… It’s just… You know how we’ve slept together, right?”

“Yeah, I seem to recall something about muscles and a very tanned body.”

“Don’t tease me, Carla.”

“Sorry, continue.”

“So it’s been happening regularly and I think I might actually like him, you know? And he seems to actually like me and I need this night to go perfect so that he knows what a great catch I am.”

Carla looked at her best friend, how she busied herself in order not to look at her in the eyes. “Lu, if he doesn’t know you’re a catch already he’s an asshole.”

“Like Guzmán?”

“God, Lu, Guzmán knows you’re a catch. He knew it from the first time he saw you. You can’t let the whole Guzmán thing get between you and this new hot guy you seem to really like. Guzmán knows you’re a catch, if you don’t believe me you can ask him yourself in a couple of minutes. You just weren’t  _ his  _ catch, you brought out the worst in each other.”

“I hate relationships, they make my head spin. And I hate feeling insecure. I’m not used to it.”

“You shouldn’t feel insecure, I’d marry you if I could. And relationships do suck.”

“Well you seemed pretty happy with Samuel half an hour ago.” Lu teased her.

“Don’t think I’ve forgiven you yet for interrupting.” Carla answered, kissing her on the cheek and leaving the bathroom. “And Samuel and I are happy together, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck at times.”

“And you are still with him because you love him, how predictable, Carla.”

“No, I’m still with him because the good outweighs the bad. Now, I believe we’re throwing a party aren’t we?”

“Not just that, it’s the party of the season.”

Carla laughed. God, she loved Lu so much, even when she was bitchy, high maintenance and annoying.

Carla found Samuel pacing like a maniac in the kitchen, the place was clean and everywhere you looked there was a tray with canapés and small sandwiches or tall glasses about to be filled with champagne. There were a couple dozen baskets filled with little bags with 12 grapes each, they didn’t really know how many people would come to the party so they’d gone overboard with the grapes.

“Samu, what are you doing here?”

“Carla, I know he’s your friend but he drives me crazy.”

Carla laughed, “Valerio drives everyone crazy, it’s kind of his thing.”

Samuel came to a halt in front of her and grabbed her hands squeezing hard. “Just promise me you won’t ever leave me alone with him again. I might murder him. And we’ve had enough of that going around to last us a lifetime.”

“Are we joking about it, now?” Carla was genuinely curious, they didn’t usually talk about what had happened with Marina, Polo and Lu.

“I don’t know, I’m nervous, are there gonna be paparazzi? I’m not used to these things.” He was smiling shily. Carla kissed him softly, butterflies coming alive in her stomach, she wasn’t used to seeing Samuel nervous, he was usually so sure of himself, he looked so cute and endearing at the moment.

“Everything is gonna be alright. I promise. You’ll see. You only have to talk to your friends, leave the rest to Lu and me. As for the paparazzi, we won’t let them anywhere close to the house, we’ve got a security team working on it.”

“I love you, you know, right?”

“Yes. Let’s go.”

Samu let her lead him to the mansion’s (for there wasn’t another way to describe the house) entrance and he smiled to himself. His girlfriend was, most definitely, a fixer.

The party was, most definitely, a success. Elegant, classy, beautiful, fun without it being out of control, the food was from another planet, the drinks flowed freely and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.

“You did an amazing job.” Carla smiled. Cayetana had just arrived and looked stunning in a silver long sleeved, tight, backless, dress that fell to the floor.

“Thank you. Where did you get this dress from? It’s amazing.”

Caye smiled proudly. “I made it myself for class a couple months ago, thought I would never get the chance to wear it but then your invite came in the mailbox.”

“Maybe I’ll ask for one of your designs.”

“Could you imagine that? I used to steal these kinds of dresses from people like you, and, if everything turns out the way I want it to, I’ll have all of you lining up to buy them from me.”

“You can do anything you set your mind to.” Rebeca said, hugging her, and nodding in Carla’s general direction in recognition.

“You look great, Rebe.” Caye said, smiling.

“Nothing compared to the queen of the party, though.” Carla raised an eyebrow, cold, not really knowing whether to take Rebe’s comment as a compliment or as a weird way to mock her.

“Come on, Caye, let’s leave the queen of ice to her guests, she can’t afford to spend all her time with the black sheeps of her boyfriend's friend group.” Rebe began to pull Caye towards the bar, the other girl had made her go to this party instead of a club, so she was gonna take advantage of the open bar.

“Rebe, be nice.” Caye, scolded her best friend, and grabbed Carla’s hand. “Thanks for inviting us, Carla.”

Carla smiled, warmer this time, she really liked Cayetana, she understood why Samu was so protective of her, she really didn’t get the whole Rebe thing, though, the fact that they dated still baffled her.

Guzmán came in with Ander, Omar was nowhere to be seen, turned out he was helping his dad at the store, there were gonna be a lot of last minute purchases that night and his dad refused to close the store. “He hopes to make it before the grapes.” Ander said, excusing his boyfriend to Carla and rolling his eyes.

“Where’s Samu?” Guzmán asked, after saying hi to Lu and Carla. He was used to these kinds of parties and it was weird that he wasn’t welcoming the guests with his girlfriend and Lu.

“Hiding somewhere. If you see him tell him to tell the waiters to start bringing out the food, we can’t leave the door.” Lu told him. And Carla just let her be. She didn’t think it was necessary, but Lu was in control-freak mode and if she told her to leave her boyfriend alone, she’d be facing a very patronizing stare down that she did not need at the moment.

They found Samu laughing at the bar with Caye and Rebe. He was happy, drinking something with alcohol from a very fancy glass. He looked right at home and out of place at the same time. Ander thought Samu was starting to find a place in this world that did not belong to him, a little micro-cosmos in this superficial, empty, cold, expensive and glittery world. Much like he’d done all of those years ago, when his mom had gotten the job at this prestigious school and he’d been forced to transfer. Now he looked at Samu, Guzmán, Caye, Rebeca and Carla and couldn’t even start picturing his life without them, even Lu and Valerio in some way. That world had brought him to Omar, and he was happy, even if it wasn’t his place. 

“He’ll come.” Samu said, hugging him from the side, guessing his friend’s thoughts, grateful that Omar had found someone like Ander.

“Come on! Let’s get something to drink and invade the dancefloor!” They all looked at Rebe. She was smiling and holding a vodka bottle she somehow had gotten a hold of when no one was watching. 

They got lost on the dance floor. The beat flowed through their veins and they danced and danced and danced, bodies moving in unison, jumping up and down, twirling and laughing and stepping on each other’s feet. Samu’s toes felt on fire, he wasn’t used to fancy footwear and his shoes were brand new, he was sure he was about to lose a toe, but who cared? Guzmán wasn’t too drunk for once, Cayetana’s cheeks were flushed, Rebe’s hair had slipped out of her high ponytail and Ander seemed to be having fun without Omar for once. It was perfect, probably the most fun he’d had with them since London that summer.

“I need to go out. Clean air and all.” Guzmán said, laughing and finishing his drink.

“I’ll come with you.” Samu offered, he was sweating way too much, some fresh air would definitely help. 

“I need to get out of here too.” Ander’s hair was sticking to his face, his curls tangled and sweaty.

“Nooo!!! You’re staying with us and dancing!!!” Rebe hugged Ander’s arm and pulled him to her, forcing him to dance. Caye laughed and he shrugged and stayed.

“He needs to stop letting Rebe kidnap him.” Guzmán said once they were outside. Samu laughed.

“I think he likes it.”

“He’s weird.”

They sat down on the steps that led to the garden, there was a couple making out a couple steps below them.

“How are you doing?” Samu had been worried about Guzmán, leaving Las Encinas had changed something inside him, he’s been thrown off balance, he seemed to be about to fall off the edge at all times, one wrong move and he’d go too far to ever come back. “Please be honest.” 

Guzmán looked at him with sad eyes. They’d never lied to each other. “I’m really lucky to have you as a friend.”

Samu looked away, feeling guilty. “I haven’t felt like a good friend to you guys for a few weeks. I’m not there enough.”

“Samu. You have your problems. Your brother needs help, you can’t be everywhere at once. We know that.”

“Yeah, but… I know you’re having a rough time, I know you miss Nadia and I haven’t been there.”

Guzmán laughed and hugged his friend and then he pressed their foreheads together. “I do miss her, dude, but it’s not that. Or at least that’s not all.” He leaned against the wall behind him and pulled out a cigarette. “It just feels weird, you know? All my life, as long as I remember, I’ve taken all the important steps with Marina, we went to kindergarten together, we went to primary school together and to high-school together and now… I’m at uni, Samu. Marina always wanted to go to uni, she imagined it’d be the moment she’d be able to finally break free of the life our parents had planned for us. I always thought we’d go to uni together, we wouldn’t study the same things, but we’d be going through this together. And now she’s gone and it feels weird. For the first time ever I’m entering a new chapter of my life without her. It feels wrong.”

Samu looked at him. Really looked and was reminded why he couldn’t understand how Carla had forgiven Polo, how Guzmán had forgiven him. He’d caused so much pain, so much suffering, Guzmán would have to live with his sister’s ghost all his life, he’d have to learn to accept that she wouldn’t be at his graduation, at his wedding, at his children’s births… He’d always miss her, he’d always wish she were there, and she’d never be.

“You’ll get through it.”

“Will I?”

Samuel looked at his friend. “Not really, I don’t think so. But you’ll learn to accept it.”

“Have you?”

“I’m not mad all the time anymore.”

“That’s good.”

“I’m mad now.”

“Sorry.”

“Nah, it’s fine. Let’s refill our drinks and go back inside.”

“Sounds good.”

Carla stayed on the door for an hour or so, then she decided people could show themselves in and went inside to look for her friends. She was kidnapped by the Duchess of X daughter who wanted to know EVERYTHING about how she was managing the wineries as an excuse to take a photo with her and post it in social media under the caption “reuniting with old friends”. They’d been forced to hang out a couple of times when their mothers had taken them to aristocratic events. They didn’t like each other very much, but Carla guessed she had a mysterious, grown up aura, she was the girl of the moment, and the little duchess was probably willing to do practically anything for a couple of likes, even declare her an “old friend”.

Once she freed herself from her kidnapper after promising to follow her on insta she went straight to the dance floor and looked over everybody’s heads, thanking god she was tall. Samu was nowhere to be found, neither were Lu and Valerio, so she went outside.

She found Valerio sitting on the edge of the swimming pool with his trousers rolled up to his knees, feet on the water.

“I like New Year in Chile much better,” he said once she sat down by his side, careful not to get her dress wet. 

“Because it’s warmer?”

“Because it’s warmer.”

“What are you doing here alone, didn’t feel like mingling? You’re usually the king of the party.”

He shrugged and Carla realized he was sad, so she moved closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“I don’t think everyone in there is gonna be happy to see me.”

“Samu is fine with you now.”

Valerio smiled and kissed her forehead. “I’m not talking about Samu, I don’t care what he thinks. I mean, I know you love him and all but, we just have to be civil to each other.”

“So who is it?”

“Don’t tell Lu, she’s gonna murder me if she finds out.”

“I won’t, you know that.” 

“Did you know I was kind of in a threesome with Polo and Caye?”

Carla straightened up, she’d known they’d been close, she’d known there’d been something going on between Caye and Valerio there at the end, she’d just never put two and two together. But it kind of made sense, they'd always been whispering to each other those last few weeks.

“It makes sense”. She tried to make her voice soft and warm, masking her surprise, Valerio didn’t need judgment, let alone from her, he needed to vent, and she’d give that to him at least.

“Does it?”

“Polo likes threesomes, I should know that.”

Valerio scoffed. “God, I keep forgetting that you two were together.”

“For five years.”

“I can’t imagine being in a relationship for that long.”

“Did you want to? With Caye and Polo?”

“I really thought we could do it, you know? For a minute there it seemed possible. Then everything went to hell and Caye probably hates me and… I don’t know, I’d rather not have that conversation sober and I can’t go back to drinking my problems away.”

“Do you want to? Drink I mean.”

Valerio looked at her and stopped, thinking whether to tell her or not, if he didn’t tell her, he’d probably have the first drink in a year, if he did, she’d make sure to keep him away from the bar. He really wanted a drink.

“Yeah, Carla, I always want to. Having Caye in there just makes it harder not to.”

“You can leave, you know? If you’re not having fun? Lu and I will manage.”

Valerio looked at her, “I think I’ll stay until the grapes, then we’ll see.”

“Okay. I’m gonna go look for Samu, midnight is in half an hour, they are gonna start handing out the grapes in no time.” Carla kissed him on the cheek. “Try, to have some fun, though, and, if you don’t want to, go tell Lu to stop harassing the staff.”

“How do you know she’s doing that?”

“She’s Lu, she’s harassing the staff.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“Try have fun, please.”

“Okay. You too.”

Carla stood up and left him there, not really trusting that he was really gonna try to have fun, she went to the bar and told the bartender not to serve him alcohol, no matter what he said, she didn’t really think it was necessary, but it wouldn’t really hurt.

She then went to look for Samuel, she’d been right, they’d lowered the volume of the music and the waiters were carrying baskets filled with the grapes, she checked her phone, they had 20 minutes to go, people were beginning to gather around the huge screens they had placed outside by the pool.

“We need to give a speech” she turned around and saw Lu, dragging Valerio by his sleeve. “The four of us. Go find Samu. I hope you have something ready, it’s your house.”

Carla squeezed her hand. “Okay, I’ll go find him, Lu, promise me you’ll relax after this.”

“Yes, after midnight.”

“Good luck!” Valerio shouted once Lu dragged him past her. Carla rolled her eyes.

She looked for him for two minutes and then she saw him, the image of him that moment, that night, would never leave her brain, years later she’d still picture him like that, buttoning up his blazer, alone in the middle of the dance floor, quiet music playing around him and soft pink lights lighting up his face. He heard her high heels clicking on the floor and turned around, a warm little smile spreading through his face and lighting up his eyes. He was her safe port in the middle of the storm.

“Hi” he said, “dance with me?”

“Lu is gonna freak if we’re not there in five minutes.”

“Then we’ve got 3 minutes to dance, come on, we haven’t seen each other all night.”

She smiled and grabbed the hand he was offering, he returned her smile as he pulled her closer to him, Carla rested her head on his shoulder and held him close to her, they stood there, swaying slowly, ignoring the song’s tempo, hugging more than dancing. Samu memorized the shape of her body, the smell of her hair, the way she smiled sweetly at him, how she towered a little bit over him because she was wearing heels, the way her hands had fisted the fabric of his jacket.

“I’m having fun.”

“I know this is not the night you wanted.”

“No, it’s not, but it’s the night  _ you _ wanted, and I’m having fun.”

“You don’t mind we’re not alone?”

“We’re alone right now.” He made her twirl and then kissed her softly. They became one for a moment, until they heard someone coming in. They looked in the direction of the noise and saw a young waiter, who couldn't be older than 17, looking at them shyly. 

“I’m sorry” she said in a barely audible voice, “Miss Montesinos said that you really have to come now.”

Carla smiled her most poised, cold smile. “Tell her we’re on our way.” She then turned to Samu and rolled her eyes, he laughed.

“Thank you, it probably wasn’t the nicest conversation you’ve ever had.” He said to the girl.

“It’s my job, sir.” And then she turned around and left.

“This is so weird” Samuel commented as Carla fixed his tie before leaving for the speech. “I’m usually the one serving the drinks at these parties.”

“Not when you’re with me.”

“I don’t know how I feel about that.” And it was true, Samu mostly felt self-conscious and out of place when he was being served and called “sir”, he didn’t like it, but he understood that it was a part of Carla and these parties and so he really wanted to start feeling more at peace with all this, but he didn’t.

Carla didn’t know what to make of that statement, so she ignored it and grabbed him by the hand and began to walk to the little platform where Lu and Valerio were waiting for them. She grabbed two grape bags on her way there and handed one over to Samu.

“You’re late.” Lu told her as they all stepped on the platform together, Valerio and Samu flanking the girls.

“It’s 10 minutes ‘till midnight, we’ve got more than enough time.” Was Carla’s cold reply. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a little bit hurt by Samu’s comment.

Carla grabbed the microphone that was handed to her by a guy who probably was in charge of the tech stuff (she really wasn’t paying attention) and put on her most confident face.

“Good night.” She began, and everyone cheered as if she’d said something remarkable. She hadn’t. “Lucrecia, Valerio, Samuel and I welcome you to my house, we hope you have had a pleasant evening this far. And now I’m gonna give the microphone to Lu, who’s always been better at giving speeches than me.” She smiled politely at the cheers from the crowd and passed over the microphone to Lu with a cold smile.

Samu shuddered, realizing Carla was mad and had started with the passive aggressive comments, Valerio raised his eyebrows at him in a look that distinctively said “you should talk to her before the two of them start the Third World War” and, Samu hated to admit it, he was right.  _ Fuck _ .

Lu gave her speech, praising Carla a bit too much in the process, making Samu wonder how were the two of them able to remain friends for this long if they were this quick to turn on each other. Then again, he liked his brother and Cristian and he was constantly at odds with both of them.

Carla stood by his side, mainly because there was nowhere else to stand, but what she truly wanted to do was get away from there, she suddenly felt tired, tired of fighting for Samuel, tired of trying to make this a great night, tired of bickering with Lu, of smiling politely because she had to. She just wanted to lock herself up in her room and fall asleep surrounded by cushions and buried in a mountain of blankets. She wanted her mom to knock on her door, checking on her, she wanted her dad to offer to make her pancakes. She knew that wouldn’t happen and that just made her angry and anger made her cold and it was almost midnight and that was decidedly not how she pictured starting the year. It was then that she felt a warm hand wrapping around her fingers, a warm body behind hers, a soft kiss on the bare skin of her shoulder. 

“I love you”, Samuel whispered in her ear. “No matter what, I love you and I trust you and I’ll always be there for you. Even if we fight or don’t see eye to eye. I’m here,  _ always _ .” And it was true, he felt it flow through his body, his love for her, it was big and soft and powerful and real. And she believed him, she believed him because she felt the exact same way and she let their love melt the cold ice in her veins and kissed him softly, trying to convey all her feelings for him in that kiss.

Suddenly the screens lit up and an image of the massive clock in Plaza del Sol appeared and they heard the first bell chime. They both looked up, startled, and reached for their bag of grapes.

“Don’t worry”, Valerio told them. “I think it’s just the quarters”.

“Okay”, Samu said, relieved. Somehow he really believed that eating all twelve grapes during the twelve seconds before midnight would bring him good luck, he knew it was a silly superstition, but he believed it nonetheless, and beginning to eat them during the quarters would definitely not be a good sign.

“I never know when to start eating these,” Carla said, smiling.

“Neither do I.” Samu agreed.

They looked at the hosts on TV and waited for them to give the go ahead. They ate their twelve grapes on the last twelve bell chimes of the year, fast, way too fast and laughing. There they all were, sons and daughters of the most dignified families of Spain with their mouths stuffed with grapes and juice running down their chins to their necks, happy and congratulating each other on the new year as beautiful fireworks exploded above them. Just how it should be. 

Carla smiled and kissed Samuel, he tasted of grapes and champagne and love and happiness and she didn’t really think life could get any better. Samuel was beaming when they pulled apart and Carla’s heart stopped, yet again, from knowing, having the absolute certainty, that it was her who made him this happy. She’d never thought of herself as of someone who could make someone else happy, and yet, here they were. Carla leaned in again and kissed him tenderly, her fingers tracing the shell of his ears, his jaw, his neck, sliding down his pectorals down to his hips, her touch feather-like, Samu trembled, not used to being thought of as something precious. 

“Happy New Year” He whispered into her mouth, still grinning like a mad man. He’d never welcomed the new year like this, he’d never been this happy doing so, Carla hugging him like her life depended on it, actually grinning too. He’d never seen her smile this big, she never really smiled much, specially if she wasn’t sad, it came to him then, Carla mostly smiled when she was sad, she rarely smiled out of sheer joy, but she was doing it now, he’d gotten her to do it now. Somehow this small realization made this whole circus of a party worth it.

They finally pulled apart and Carla found herself in a see of embraces, there was Lu first, who practically squealed in her ear because Liam wanted to talk to her later and she had a good feeling about it, their previous under-handed comments long forgotten, then there was Valerio who actually looked happy, then strangers and people whose names she knew only in relation to her mother’s friends and contacts, they were all polite and nice, and Carla guessed it was their final act of diplomacy before they made use of the open bar and got drunk off their asses. It was New Year’s after all.

She reached her old highschool friends, Samu’s friends. Guzmán was nice, Rebeca wasn’t, but that was expected, Caye really seemed happy and like she was enjoying herself, she saw the girl a little bit different now, though and she had a million questions she knew she’d never be able to answer. Was she really this happy? Was she scared to run into Valerio again? What did she think of him, seeing standing up there on the podium? Was she breaking like he was? She knew all of this would have to remain unanswered, but she hugged her extra tight, just in case she needed it.

Ander hugged her and spinned her around, he probably was on the drunk side of sober and she let him do it, praying that he wouldn’t ruin her dress. 

“Where’s your better half?” He asked once he put her down.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“Stuck working at the shop, he texted me, he should be here any moment now.”

“Sorry, that sucks.”

Ander shrugged. “It is what it is. I’m having fun, though. Thanks for the invite.”

Carla hugged him to her side. “Thank you for coming, really.”

“Do you need to talk? You know I’m here, right?”

“I do. It’s fine, I’m gonna go look for Samu.”

She kissed him on the cheek and left them, she saw the way they were pushing Guzmán to talk to some girl and it made her laugh and miss them. She used to be in on these jokes, before everything, she was one of them.

To say Samuel was freaking out would be the understatement of the century. Omar had finally showed up, that part was good, great even. But he wasn’t alone. There was Cristian as well, it turns out he’d showed up earlier that night to the store and asked Omar if he could come, insisting until Omar had run out of excuses.

“I need to talk to Carla, Samu, and I’m gonna do it. I don’t care what you think.”

“Cristian, you can do that tomorrow, or next week, I’m taking her home for Kings’ Day. Don’t do this here, don’t do it today.”

“Samu. I’m not gonna make a scene if that’s what worries you. I need to talk to her.”

Samuel tried to convince him otherwise again and again, but the guy insisted and he… To say he didn’t understand would be a lie. Her father had put him in the hospital, he needed closure, he knew that. But the night had been perfectly nice. And that would ruin it. He knew it.

Then Carla showed up out of nowhere. She froze in the middle of the garden when she saw the wheelchair. She knew Samu had nothing to do with it, he wasn’t cruel, not like that. Cristian probably just invited himself. She really didn’t wanna have this conversation. She squared herself and went to hug Omar.

“Hello, I’m glad you could make it, Ander’s waiting for you somewhere around the open bar.”

“Oh! A drink, thank you beautiful. I’ll see you around?” Carla nodded and Omar left fast, glad that the girl had given him an easy way out and that he could finally see his boyfriend again, he was a little mad that they hadn’t been able to welcome the new year together, he’d have to make it up to him somehow. He had a couple ideas.

“I’m sorry.” It was the only thing Carla could actually tell Cristian. It was the only true thing.

“Yeah, of course you are, but I see you’re still living at daddy’s, so you can’t be  _ that _ sorry.”

“I haven’t talked to my parents in months, Cristian, not since the accident.”

Cristian was fuming, he’d tried to convince himself he wasn’t coming here for a fight, that he was coming here to hear an apology and finally leave it all to rest, but he was still mad, he’d never walk again and a huge part of that was the girl standing infront of him, o girl who somehow had managed to make one of his closest friends fall in love with her. He was mad, and he really believed he had the right to be. So he let all the pent up anger flow through him.

“I’m so sorry that now you only get their money, their companies and their houses, and not them. That must be devastating.”

“Cristian…” Samu warned.

“Stay out of it. This girl, this girl you say you love she made my life a living hell, she made me coverup the murder of  _ your _ girlfriend, she made me pretend nothing was wrong, like Polo hadn’t just killed Marina, and, when I had enough, when I thought the guilt and pain could kill me, when I decided to tell the truth, she got her father to murder me, but they didn’t succeed and, instead, I’m gonna be stuck to this wheelchair my whole life. It’s your fault, Carla, it’s all your fault. And I don’t believe you’re sorry, at least not sorry enough.”

Carla had gone cold. “I’m sorry. I am.”

“No, you’re not. You’re just a cold, hard, unfeeling bitch.”

Samuel punched him in the jaw. So hard he almost threw him off the wheelchair. “Don’t talk to her like that.” His eyes had fire on them. “I know you’re hurting, I know this sucks. But it isn’t all on her, you decided to stay with her, you chose to shut up for all that time. It’s just as much on you as it is on her. And the fact that you’re in pain doesn’t make it okay for you to disrespect her like that.”

“He’s gonna ruin your life, Samu, and then you’ll come to me with the story.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. But this is my decision. Just like that was yours. Now leave, there are cabs parked outside, take one and go home.”

Cristian looked around. There were a thousand eyes looking at him. He felt like shit. His friend was mad at him, and he wasn’t feeling any less miserable. So he turned around and left, he didn’t want to apologise, it wasn’t his fault, he did wanna cry, though, but he couldn’t do it here, in front of all those people. He got on a cab and went to look for Nano.

Carla got herself a glass of champagne and pretended to mingle, but Samu grabbed her by the arm and got her to an empty room.

“How are you?” He asked.

“I’m fine.” Samuel punched the wall. He was seeing red. Cristian had no right to do that, no right at all. They were finally starting to move past it and he had to bring it all back.

“Carla, don’t lie to me.”

“What do you want me to say?” She heard herself speak from faraway, she wasn’t sure how in control of the situation she was at the moment, she heard her words, cold and sharp and wondered who’d given the go-ahead to her mouth to speak them. She wasn’t sure she had. 

Samu bracketed her face between his hands, forcing her to look at him. “The truth.” He stated, plainly. “I just want the truth. Just like we promised before.”

“I don’t know what the truth is right now.” She heard her voice, not as cold, but still freezing. She didn’t wanna deal with this, Cristian and Polo and Marina, she wanted to put it past her and leave it at that. She wanted everyone to leave and be left alone in her parents’ mansion to roam and feel lonely and sad. Samu wouldn’t let her do it.

“I know what my truth is. I know Cristian wasn’t wrong, but he wasn’t right either. You’re hard, and cold and pragmatic and tough as a rock. But you do have feelings and those feelings are beautiful, you protect the people you love sometimes until it breaks you, you did it with Polo, you did it with your mom and you’re doing it with Lu and me and Valerio. Your love is deep and warm and real, before you came along, love for me was painful and tough and exhausting, now… It’s still all of those things but you’ve taught me it can also be rewarding, you’ve taught me that I can count on you, always and forever, you’ve taught me you’ll fight for me. You’ve made me wanna try again, you’ve made falling in love again something worth it and exciting and good. Cristian can only see the pain, I can see the love. You’re not bad. You’re not how he sees you. I love you.”

Carla could feel the tears. She was crying, again. Samu made her feel vulnerable and safe and strong all at once, she didn’t try to hide her tears because, what was the point in that? She loved him and he, somehow, loved her back. And she knew that.

They stood there, hugging, two people who’d had their hearts broken too many times by people who should’ve never done that, trying to fix them together. They hugged and then Carla looked for his mouth, she tried to kiss him soft and warm, but Samuel’s mouth responded hard and demanding and she let him, she knew he was mad still, at Cristian, at himself, maybe at her. She let him take and enjoyed every second of it.

He lost himself in her body, brought her arms up and held her there, pinned to the wall, both her hands in one of his, red lips swallowed because of him, eyes wild with love and lust, back arched as she tried to reach for him, his mouth, his neck, his chest, anywhere, looking, craving contact. He looked at her and looked at her and Carla felt exposed, although she was fully dressed, she felt broken and whole, her body trembled with need. “Please” she half whispered, half moaned.

He couldn’t help it. His mouth came crashing into hers, biting her lower lip, slipping his tongue inside, caressing her mouth inside and out. She gave back as good as she got and he moaned into her mouth, pressing himself against her, looking for friction, something, anything. She wrapped one leg around his waist, needing him as much as he needed her. 

“I love you” she whispered into the skin of her neck, she moaned against her chin and it made her smile stupidly. “I love you.” She repeated and he rocked against her, pressing into that spot that made her see stars. She bit into his neck to keep from making any sound, she saw the bite mark and liked it.

“Fuck” he wispered against her ear. “I love you” She said again, biting his earlobe. He let go of her hands and she used the opportunity to get rid of his blazer, it fell to the floor with a  _ tud _ and it brought Samu back to the real world.

“You sure you wanna do this here?” He asked. “There’s a party going on right outside.” Her answer was to get rid of his tight and start unbuttoning his shirt, kissing all the exposed skin, sinking to her knees once she got to his nable, nibbling and making him moan and tangle his hands in her hair. She knew it would look like a bird’s nest afterwards. She didn’t give a fuck. She mouthed at his erection through the fabric of the pants and he bucked his hips involuntarily, moaning her name. She got both his pants and his underwear down to his knees at once and took his half hard erection into her hands. She wasn’t an expert on blow-job givving, it usually left her feeling dirty and so she avoided it, but today she wanted to do it, and she knew she wouldn’t feel bad afterwards because it was Samu and Samu’s body and she wanted to worship it all the ways she could.

She tugged at him experimentally and he moaned and brought both his hands to the wall to steady himself, his knees shaked a little bit, but he didn’t dare to move much, Carla had rearly done this to him, and he didn’t mind it, he loved sex with the girl, no matter how it happened, he always loved it, but seeing her on her knees, looking up at him with those big, beautiful eyes and a devilish grin as she got closer and closer until she wrapped her lips around him. He moaned her name and tried not to trust inside her mouth. He didn’t wanna scare her, he wanted to make it good for her, too, or as good as one can feel with their mouth stuffed with cock. His mind had gone blank and was raising a thousand miles an hour at the same time. This was sexy, and he really had to try not to come right then and there.

Carla found herself having to press her tights close together to get some kind of friction, she was growing wetter by the second. It was hot. Samu was coming undone by her touch, she knew he was making an effort not to move, there was sweat running down his temple and his eyes looked lost and so focused in the moment at the same time, she knew the feeling, he made her feel like that every time she saw him naked, and now she could see so clearly how it was  _ her  _ who was making him feel that way, she felt powerful and sexy and she sucked hard causing him to trust into her mouth.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” He whispered, trying to pull away, but she grabbed him firmly by his ass and pressed him further into her mouth, her nose almost at his nabel, making him moan.

Samu didn’t know how long Carla stood on her knees, working on him, it felt like seconds and hours all at the same time. But it came to a point where not kissing her lips became almost unbearable and so he pulled back and helped her stand. Kissing her hungrily and demandingly, roaming his hands all over her body, letting her dress fall to her feet, getting rid of her bra, touching every inch of her except for where she really needed him to touch, his lips never leaving her mouth. “I love you, in case it wasn’t clear.” He said, and suddenly the whole mood changed. His touches became sweet and loving. “I will love you forever.” He slipped two fingers inside of her, making her knees go weak, so he steadied her against the wall with his free hand. “I want you to know that.” He said kissing her cheek sweetly as he moved his fingers in and out of her. She trembled and hooked her other leg around his waist, letting him hold her and steady her as she removed his fingers to replace them with his cock. 

Despite the position, it was sweet and gentle, their eyes locked together all the time, she kissed the tip of his nose and he smiled and moved a strand of her behind her ear. It didn’t last long, he came hugging her tight to him, chest to chest, and then sank to his knees. She came shortly after, his mouth on her and her fingers on his hair.

They sat side by side, half naked, his fingers running up and down her arms as she ran her fingers through his hair, it was a little on the long side, it looked good but she was sure that, the next time they saw each other, it would be shorter.

“Don’t think about it” he whispered against her shoulder. He knew she was thinking of the three weeks apart they’d have to endure after the Holidays. It somehow felt unreal, after having spent so much time together, to be apart again. She smiled and kissed his temple.

They stayed like that for a while, together and happy just being with each other, somehow knowing that there was a party going on around them made the moment more intimate, more precious, more theirs. But…

“We should go, people will start to wander where we are.”

“Let them wander, they’ll probably think we’re doing exactly what we’re doing.”

“Samu…”

“Okay, have you seen my boxers?”

“They’re by the couch.”

“Why are we on the floor if there’s a couch.”

“You didn’t want to move, I offered.”

“Just… Okay, I’ll go get them.”

Carla couldn’t help but smile as she saw Samu, half naked, walk through the room to get his underwear, it was ridiculous and sweet at the same time.

Once they both looked kind of presentable they rejoined the party hand in hand. They found out they’d disappeared for almost two hours, their friends were mostly drunk, dancing like crazy people, Lu was nowhere to be found, neither was Liam. Valerio had texted Carla he was leaving, she felt sorry for him but didn’t have the time to dwell on it because Ander spun her around, making her laugh. 

They danced and drank and laughed, they played silly games and ended up swimming naked in the pool at 6am once everyone had left. Caye, Rebe, Guzmán, Ander, Omar and Samu and, somehow, Carla felt part of that group of people once more.

They went to bed after breakfast, giving their friends guest rooms so that they wouldn’t have to go back to their places and Samu kissed Carla tenderly until they fell asleep, ready to face a new year together. “Happy 6 month aniversaty” he whispered. “I think it was actually three weeks ago.” He smiled against her lips. “I can’t believe it’s been this long already.”

“I love you”

“I love you”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Okay, so about Christmas Holidays in Spain:  
> We celebrate Christmas ans New Year's Eve and Day, but not everyone gets their presents on Christmas, the big day to get presents in Spain in Kings' Day, the 6th of January, the day of the Epiphany. Santa comes to some households and doesn't come to others, I've never had Santa at my house, but I have friends who do celebrate him. Anyway, even those families who do celebrate Santa, the big present day is the 6th, like you'll get something small on the 25th and the big things on the 6th (usually). It also depends on where you live, for example in Catalonia they have a log that poops presents on the 24th if you hit him hard enough with a stick (it's called caga tió, look it up, it's super weird).  
> New Year's Eve is a little bit different here than in the rest of the world, it's not about kissing someone at midnight but about being able to eat 12 grapes in 12 seconds, each one representing a month of the year. If you manage to do that, you'll get a year filled with good luck. It's hard, almost impossible, I always look for the bag with the smallest grapes because there's no way I can do it otherwise.   
> So... Yeah, that's that!  
> Hope you've enjoied the chapter,  
> Love, Nene <3

**Author's Note:**

> I know I promised this would come way earlier than it did, but my life came crashing down on me like a tone of bricks and I had to pick it up (both, my life and the bricks) so I didn't have any free time for writing and I didn't wanna work myself into another panic attack.  
> I don't know when the next chapter will come, I can't make any promises, finals are just around the corner and I have a feeling the boring part of my life will come knocking soon enough and I'll have to open the door, even if I really, really, really don't want to worry about russian verbs.  
> This took me so long to write, I wanted to make it just right, I actually have mapped out how this is gonna go down, but, as always, I'm open to suggestions.  
> All the love you give me with your comments, kudos, even if you just read this. It means so much, it actually warms my heart that people are taking some time off their day to read something I wrote.  
> As always, I know this are difficult times so take care of your health, both the mental and the physical. Wash your hands and take some time for yourself, call a friend if you need it and if you want to talk to someone who doesn't know you, I'm always ready to listen.


End file.
